best/funniest article EVER!!!
Harvard's chump change
By Mike Conway | October 5, 2005
SO THE Harvard endowment grew 19 percent and is now up to $25.9 billion. Oh, what the heck, let's just say $26 billion. After all, what's a measly $100 million?
Actually, $26 billion is a lot of money -- no, it's an obscene amount of money. Seriously, how do you make $26 billion without cheating someone along the way?
For the sake of full disclosure, I am an ex-employee of Harvard Business School, but I assure you there are no hard feelings, even though they did make me pay to park in their huge employee parking lot. But that was back when they only had a shaky $19 billion, not like today.
And today is about spending. I thought I would help by offering my top 10 suggestions for using all that money:
10. Reimburse taxpayers for the Big Dig.
9. Buy Belgium.
8. Purchase a single family home in Greater Boston.
7. Give every one of the 37 million Americans living in poverty a check for $702.70 -- and nonprofit status (just like fair Harvard).
6. End the ''temporary" tolls on the Mass Pike.
5. Buy and immediately dissolve the Yankees.
4. Post a $1 billion reward for Whitey Bulger; bet he'd turn up in less than a week.
3. Segways for everyone!
2. Free universal healthcare for all Massachusetts residents.
1. Reimburse me for the 2,300 bucks I spent over the years to park in the employee parking lot at the Harvard Business School.
Seriously, my family needs the money.
Mike Conway is a former administrative assistant at the Harvard Business School.
By Mike Conway | October 5, 2005
SO THE Harvard endowment grew 19 percent and is now up to $25.9 billion. Oh, what the heck, let's just say $26 billion. After all, what's a measly $100 million?
Actually, $26 billion is a lot of money -- no, it's an obscene amount of money. Seriously, how do you make $26 billion without cheating someone along the way?
For the sake of full disclosure, I am an ex-employee of Harvard Business School, but I assure you there are no hard feelings, even though they did make me pay to park in their huge employee parking lot. But that was back when they only had a shaky $19 billion, not like today.
And today is about spending. I thought I would help by offering my top 10 suggestions for using all that money:
10. Reimburse taxpayers for the Big Dig.
9. Buy Belgium.
8. Purchase a single family home in Greater Boston.
7. Give every one of the 37 million Americans living in poverty a check for $702.70 -- and nonprofit status (just like fair Harvard).
6. End the ''temporary" tolls on the Mass Pike.
5. Buy and immediately dissolve the Yankees.
4. Post a $1 billion reward for Whitey Bulger; bet he'd turn up in less than a week.
3. Segways for everyone!
2. Free universal healthcare for all Massachusetts residents.
1. Reimburse me for the 2,300 bucks I spent over the years to park in the employee parking lot at the Harvard Business School.
Seriously, my family needs the money.
Mike Conway is a former administrative assistant at the Harvard Business School.