Good Movie.
My mom urged me to see the movie Rachel Getting Married because the two siblings in the story are very similar to my sister and I. She said that I 'might understand Lizz better', if I watched it.
Two hours of movie do not erase a lifetime of hate and misery, no matter how cinematically well-crafted those two hours are. To be fair, I am not exactly like Rachel and Lizz is not exactly like Kimmy - but I've heard it all before. The same excuses, the same arguments, the same car accidents, the same crazy attitude when the spotlight is not on her (the difference being Lizz isn't hardcore enough to abuse drugs, no counting her own meds). I don't need everyone to pay attention to me; but I remember asking my mom why Lizz's birthday was such a big deal when I was eight or so. She said it was because Lizz needs so much more from people. She needs everything; she's a total energy vampire.
I didn't grow up deprived in any way, I don't want to bad-mouth my parents. But I did have to pack an overnight bag for her when she was finally committed one night to Havenwick. My mom wants me to give up on this resentment I have towards her because it would help me move on. I have had problems holding grudges: I gave up one I had been holding against Ray and I was amazed by how much better I felt. I agree with Buck's famous statement: Anger is poison. But the best way for me to interact with her is as little as possible. I don't want to pretend it is okay. It's the one thing I can control right now. Once I move out, it will be easier to handle her, I think. I have given up trying to ease everyone else's burden by being there to absorb the force of her personality; but I have to save myself. She's just after my mom, anyway. My poor mom has had some health issues lately and all my sister can think of to say is 'Oh, I hope you're feeling better...Can you watch Lane on Saturday?'. Selfish, selfish.
So the point being, watch Rachel Getting Married. Tell me if you get to the part where I'm supposed to feel sorry for Lizz, because I must have missed it.
Besides that, other things that I need to get off my chest include the fact that my job; which I actually love, has hired too many new people and I am now down from 3 days to 1 day a week. It makes me worry if they're going to fire me. I've made a mistake here and there, but in the medical field (even the veterinary medicine field), mistakes are not tolerated. I can't help but wonder, but at the same time the two new hires have limited skills: Sue is great with the dogs, and she cleans a lot, but can't use the computer much at all. Deborah is wonderful with clients, and uses the programs well, but is too much of a soft touch with animals and tends to wander in her thoughts. They're both very good at the things they can do, but they are like two halves of the perfect employee. I'm not saying I am perfect by any means, I just wonder why we needed two new hires. It's not as if Briarpointe has to provide insurance for me if I were to turn full-time. You need to be full-time for three years before that happens. Considering everything, though, I really like this job. I like the people and I feel good in the morning when I'm driving to work. The happier I am, the less sick I will be, so I think it's worth it to keep the job, at least until I roll off of my parents' insurance.
Over at Mike's house this weekend. I just finished watching the 6th (7th?) episode of Princess Tutu with him and the more I think about it, the more it's kinda cute. Also took Blueberry for a walk because the weather was so nice. She has a stroller, isn't that wild? Had the opportunity to clip her claws since she is in heat and not her usual don't-touch-my-paws mood.
Two hours of movie do not erase a lifetime of hate and misery, no matter how cinematically well-crafted those two hours are. To be fair, I am not exactly like Rachel and Lizz is not exactly like Kimmy - but I've heard it all before. The same excuses, the same arguments, the same car accidents, the same crazy attitude when the spotlight is not on her (the difference being Lizz isn't hardcore enough to abuse drugs, no counting her own meds). I don't need everyone to pay attention to me; but I remember asking my mom why Lizz's birthday was such a big deal when I was eight or so. She said it was because Lizz needs so much more from people. She needs everything; she's a total energy vampire.
I didn't grow up deprived in any way, I don't want to bad-mouth my parents. But I did have to pack an overnight bag for her when she was finally committed one night to Havenwick. My mom wants me to give up on this resentment I have towards her because it would help me move on. I have had problems holding grudges: I gave up one I had been holding against Ray and I was amazed by how much better I felt. I agree with Buck's famous statement: Anger is poison. But the best way for me to interact with her is as little as possible. I don't want to pretend it is okay. It's the one thing I can control right now. Once I move out, it will be easier to handle her, I think. I have given up trying to ease everyone else's burden by being there to absorb the force of her personality; but I have to save myself. She's just after my mom, anyway. My poor mom has had some health issues lately and all my sister can think of to say is 'Oh, I hope you're feeling better...Can you watch Lane on Saturday?'. Selfish, selfish.
So the point being, watch Rachel Getting Married. Tell me if you get to the part where I'm supposed to feel sorry for Lizz, because I must have missed it.
Besides that, other things that I need to get off my chest include the fact that my job; which I actually love, has hired too many new people and I am now down from 3 days to 1 day a week. It makes me worry if they're going to fire me. I've made a mistake here and there, but in the medical field (even the veterinary medicine field), mistakes are not tolerated. I can't help but wonder, but at the same time the two new hires have limited skills: Sue is great with the dogs, and she cleans a lot, but can't use the computer much at all. Deborah is wonderful with clients, and uses the programs well, but is too much of a soft touch with animals and tends to wander in her thoughts. They're both very good at the things they can do, but they are like two halves of the perfect employee. I'm not saying I am perfect by any means, I just wonder why we needed two new hires. It's not as if Briarpointe has to provide insurance for me if I were to turn full-time. You need to be full-time for three years before that happens. Considering everything, though, I really like this job. I like the people and I feel good in the morning when I'm driving to work. The happier I am, the less sick I will be, so I think it's worth it to keep the job, at least until I roll off of my parents' insurance.
Over at Mike's house this weekend. I just finished watching the 6th (7th?) episode of Princess Tutu with him and the more I think about it, the more it's kinda cute. Also took Blueberry for a walk because the weather was so nice. She has a stroller, isn't that wild? Had the opportunity to clip her claws since she is in heat and not her usual don't-touch-my-paws mood.