Walking On Eggshells
You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that heavy, leaden weight that sits there, tearing up your insides, when you know that you’ve done something wrong and there’s nothing you can do to make it right?
Yeah. That feeling was my best buddy, my constant companion ever since I’d agreed to deliver a certain package and then got so drunk that I’d lost it in a card game. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don’t mess with the demon mafia. Heck, you don’t call them the demon mafia, not within their earshot, not if you still want to keep your ears. And tongue. And other squishy bits that are supposed to stay inside your body. They were the Brotherhood of Ba’al, a family of lion headed demons from the ninth dimension of Hel who believed firmly in promoting family values by promoting family. You cross one, you cross them all and it didn’t matter that the package I’d gambled away had belonged to a second cousin twice removed - I might as well have stabbed the Don in the back. Donald Ba’al, a demon so slippery, nothing ever stuck, despite Lore Enforcement’s repeated attempts to contain him in a brass vessel. Word had gotten round that he wanted a nice, friendly chat with me and everyone knew what that meant.
So that’s what brought me to this dump, a little bedsit in the less salubrious part of town. If I’d been smart, I’d have gone to a five star hotel in the posh end of town, but that required money and funds were not what they used to be, not after that game. Even worse, I descended from a line of fallen angels and you try camouflaging great big fuck off wings under a trench coat. It’s impossible. Every time I went out to forage, I was forced to scurry along like a sewer rat, hoping no one would recognise me and report back. I couldn’t even get food delivered - the Don had eyes and ears everywhere, not always obviously attached to anything.
Somewhere in the room, a phone rang, making me jump. I hadn’t paid to connect the line in the room and I’d ditched my mobile long ago so they couldn’t trace me. I hadn’t even trusted to get a pay as you go - there was no one I wanted to speak to enough to take the risk. So you can appreciate why my blood ran cold when I followed the sound over to my bed. My bed that was mysteriously stripped of its covers and sheets. My bed that had a brand new phone sitting on top of my bare pillow, calling out to me to answer. I picked it up and looked at the screen - unsurprisingly, it was an unlisted number.
I watched it ring, the vibration running down my arm, sending shivers up my spine. I couldn’t help it - I shuddered violently. They'd found me and now they wanted to ‘talk.’
The ringing stopped as it clicked over to voicemail, but started up again a second later. There was no point in delaying any longer. I pressed the button to answer.
“Hello, Cherub,” came a rumbling voice tinged with a lion’s roar.
“Hello,” I replied, trying not to let my nerves show. If I was going out, I was going out with my head held high. My family had its own pride.
“Bit rude of you not to answer when you know who’s calling.”
“Sorry about that. I wasn’t sure and you can never be too careful.”
The Don chuckled. “Well you certainly can’t. I want you to do me a favour.”
“Sure thing.”
“Cross over to the window and tell me what you see outside.”
I did as I was told and looked up and down the road, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. “What am I meant to be looking for?”
“Look closer. You’ll know.”
I leaned forward, trying to focus on whatever it was that was lurking outside when suddenly I was grabbed from behind and something that felt suspiciously like my pillowcase was thrown over my head. I breathed in a strange odour and moments later, all was black. It was over.
+++
Groggily, I came to. My head was still covered and when I tried to get up, I found that I was tightly bound to a chair.
“Sleeping beauty’s awake,” observed the Don, ripping the pillowcase off. I blinked rapidly, my eyes adjusting to the light, to find his face so close to mine, I could feel the warmth of his breath. He brought a sharp knife up into the field of my vision and I followed the silver of the blade as he waved it hypnotically in front of my face. “All together everybody!”
He stepped to one side and began sawing through the knots as my friends and family began to sing Happy Birthday. I’d been set up!
“You guys! It’s not my birthday until next month!” I stood up, rubbing life back into my wrists as people came up to wish me many happy returns. The Don clapped me on the shoulder.
“My boy, you’re not telling the Don he’s got his dates wrong are you?” I gulped and shook my head. The Don turned and waved to the crowd. “I’m sure you all won’t mind my taking young Cherub away for a few moments. I’ve got a special treat in store for the birthday boy.” Everyone melted away as the Don lead me to a side door and through into a room where a large parcel was waiting on a table.
“Isn’t that-?”
“That’s right, my boy. That’s my package. The one you were so… careless with.”
“Listen, Mr Ba’al-”
“Call me Don.”
“OK, er, Don." The word felt strange on my lips. I'd never dreamed that I'd dare to call him by his first name to his face. But then, I'd never dreamed I'd be face to face with the Don. "I’m really sorry about what happened.”
“I’m sure you are, my boy, I’m sure you are. Don’t worry about it.” The Don smiled and waved off my apologies. “Your father and I go way back, he pulled some strings and now it’s water under the bridge, water under the bridge I tell you. He’s a decent chap, your father. You’re lucky to have had him.”
“Oh, I am.” I nodded vigorously, not believing what I was hearing. Good old dad. I’d known he was connected, but he’d always kept me out of his business and I didn’t know that his ties went this high.
The Don’s manner and demeanour changed and suddenly a menacing aura oozed out from him. “But now, you really are my boy. You belong to me. And you’re going to make sure that this parcel arrives where it was supposed to otherwise… Well. I don’t even need to tell you. Your imagination will do a much better job than I ever could. Betraying family is the worst sin of them all and us Ba’als never forgive.” He suddenly switched back to the jovial fellow he’d been when he took me into the room. “And since you’re family, we decided it was only appropriate to throw you a party to welcome you into the fold. Today really is your birthday - you’ve been born anew. Come on in and taste the food - we have some boiled babies on offer that are simply divine and the roasted dodos in their shells?” He smacked his lips, pressing his fingers to them in a little kiss.
I followed him through to where the party was getting into full swing. What else could I do?