In My Wheelhouse

[alleyalligator]

All I ever wanted was to be a mum, to hold my own baby in my arms, smell its soft, newborn smell, shower its head with kisses, cuddle it from dawn ‘til dusk.  When I got pregnant with Tara, I can’t describe how happy I was to see those little blue lines.  Everyone said that I was a natural mother and when I fell pregnant with Tilly when Tara was

Comments

[notodette]

How long were you gone?

This is a brave, extremely brave, piece, especially if it's non-fiction.

[alleyalligator]

This journal contains exclusively fiction and in this case, vampire fiction. I do know women who have walked out on their children for various reasons, but I'm not one of them. It is definitely one of those big taboos in our society though and it takes an awful lot for any woman to leave her babies behind.

[notodette]

Haha, I missed this line: "You haven’t lived until you’ve drunk the blood of a newborn, the heady bouquet of that special scent filling your nostrils, creating a multisensory experience unlike any other."

And the others I took as artistic tools.

Silly me.

[alleyalligator]

LOL! I wanted to be all subtle this time around and not bang people over the head with IT'S A VAMPIRE!!! That way people would think a bit more closely about how hard mothering can be for some women and not get caught up with the supernatural aspects of the tale. Clearly, I succeeded :D

[n3m3sis42]

I think I watched too much Buffy and Angel because I was totally like "OMG VAMPIRE!!!1" but I do think you achieved your goal because I definitely related to the piece on an emotional level.

[alleyalligator]

LOL! The hint are definitely there. I think if you know much about vampires then you'll pick up on it pretty quickly.

[n3m3sis42]

I liked that you make this character sympathetic. I have a friend who walked out on her daughter - twice, in fact, the second time for good. While I still talk to her it is really hard for me to understand.

[alleyalligator]

It's not something I can understand either, but I do know women who've done it. One of them to this day doesn't understand why she should be the bad guy just because she walked out. It's a very alien mindset to mine, but I suppose that you do what you have to do in order to survive.

[n3m3sis42]

Yeah, I guess this makes me a bad friend but I can barely talk to the girl I know who did it. She's one of my oldest friends but holy shit... how?!

[alleyalligator]

I've found that the women who've done it tend to bend over backwards to justify it to themselves. I can semi understand with one of them, not so much with the other. But I'm not the one who was in their situation, so I can't really judge. I do know that it's the kind of thing which will come back and bite you in the bum at some point in the future though. Even at their most annoying, I can't imagine actually walking out on my children.