OH MY GOD! IT'S BUDDHA! and now I go to hell
Don't you just hate it when people try to enforce their religion on you?
I was walking to get lunch today at the local school cafeteria (in three days Paul you can eat a real salad you prepared yourself...and no its not infected with 30 strains of ebola and the Black Death) and I got stopped by this REALLY cute girl. Well, in case you haven't heard I've spent the past 5 days as a hermit locked in my room to study for my exams so I haven't had much contact with girls lately. So, this gorgeous redhead (my fave) stops me and I'm thinking "Oh crap, you haven't taken a shower in two days and here comes perhaps the most gorgeous woman you've seen in a while! Hell, she's Bridgette from your script to the T! Cue Blondie's "Marie" and have that red tinted montage! Shit! Did you brush your teeth? Or shave? NO! YOU DIDN'T! AHHH!!!". She walks over and smiles at me. All I can give her is one of those silent "Hi's" guys can get when they're completley thrown off their feet. She walks up right next to me, looks up into my eyes (green eyes...knees wobble) and it's almost romantic in the manner. I'm thinking "Dude, what if you get no more studying done tonight?" She opens her mouth and then drops the bomber....
"Hi, I'm a member of the local Christian club and was wondering if you would like to hear about our seminars over the Christmas break?"
I see her pamphlet and it hits me.....This woman's in love with Jesus. How can I compare with that? I can't even grow a full beard! (maybe a goatee if i didn't shave for 6 months). I've never been on a cross? Hell despite all the falls and bruises I've never even broken a bone. Let alone had someone shove a nail through my feet. I've never been idolized by Mel Gibson, let alone been the basis of so many a South Park episode.
Anywho after this bomber I try to be as sweet and gentile as possible with this woman. Maybe she was a Catholic school and still has the uniform (I've recognized that literally anyone who wants to do the arts has to be perverted in some way, and being in a room for 5 days can do that to a guy) and I think that my life has been lacking in some areas. I've never really known any Catholic school girls. And I saw so many episodes of Sailormoon as a kid and kept wondering why even interested. It's an empty whole in my heart that shall forever remain empty. I never knew any Goth girls past 8th grade. I used to chill with the goth kids in teh 8th grade and it was the funniest time of my life because they were all made up and in black from head to toe and there i was all preppy in the latest cargos and button up shirts. Oh well, I DID get to kiss a Goth girl...leaves your lips black. Then I knew I never knew any real cheerleaders. GASP! All these things going through my head as this woman smelling of orchids stands next to me rambling on about Jesus and his sacrifices. Then I noticed even worse, I've never dissected an animal in my science class. WHAT THE FUCK! I want an ET moment where i release all the frogs and piss off a cameo Harrison Ford proffessor.
Anywho before this ramble becomes too long I see the name of her group and notice something odd....The CHARITY OF CHRISTIAN CARE (or something like that).....am I only person who thinks....CCC=KKK. Have i found their hidden sect in Gainesville? and do they use gorgeous and seductive redheads to seduce foolish young men like myself in? I don't know. I listened to this womans ramble and though about how I could work this into a screenplay sometime but couldn't come up with anything remotly good that would seem realistic. I;d have to go to parody and have her skirt end a bit higher and her top a bit lower and then it would be jsut too stupid. Either way, i dont know where this rambling has gone....um....I think I need to get a shower in case tomorrow during my History exam I end up sitting next to some other gorgeous redhead. Do you know they seem to congregate here in southern florida. its sickening.
Oh well, less than 2 weeks to THE AVIATOR my friends and today saw clips of the aeiral stuff. OH MY GOD!!!!
.......actually gave up on all forms of religion a long time ago....figured there is a god but either A) no one knows what they're talking about or B) God made the world and then left it alone, which is what i believe. Hey, if Benjamin Franklin though like that then its good enough for me.
But do you knwo what I've been dying to do? Joel, if you ever read this when I come back in May we have to go back to the Scientologist church and watch the movie about the Greatness of Ron. I love that guy! He's jsut so...........Scientologisty.
I was walking to get lunch today at the local school cafeteria (in three days Paul you can eat a real salad you prepared yourself...and no its not infected with 30 strains of ebola and the Black Death) and I got stopped by this REALLY cute girl. Well, in case you haven't heard I've spent the past 5 days as a hermit locked in my room to study for my exams so I haven't had much contact with girls lately. So, this gorgeous redhead (my fave) stops me and I'm thinking "Oh crap, you haven't taken a shower in two days and here comes perhaps the most gorgeous woman you've seen in a while! Hell, she's Bridgette from your script to the T! Cue Blondie's "Marie" and have that red tinted montage! Shit! Did you brush your teeth? Or shave? NO! YOU DIDN'T! AHHH!!!". She walks over and smiles at me. All I can give her is one of those silent "Hi's" guys can get when they're completley thrown off their feet. She walks up right next to me, looks up into my eyes (green eyes...knees wobble) and it's almost romantic in the manner. I'm thinking "Dude, what if you get no more studying done tonight?" She opens her mouth and then drops the bomber....
"Hi, I'm a member of the local Christian club and was wondering if you would like to hear about our seminars over the Christmas break?"
I see her pamphlet and it hits me.....This woman's in love with Jesus. How can I compare with that? I can't even grow a full beard! (maybe a goatee if i didn't shave for 6 months). I've never been on a cross? Hell despite all the falls and bruises I've never even broken a bone. Let alone had someone shove a nail through my feet. I've never been idolized by Mel Gibson, let alone been the basis of so many a South Park episode.
Anywho after this bomber I try to be as sweet and gentile as possible with this woman. Maybe she was a Catholic school and still has the uniform (I've recognized that literally anyone who wants to do the arts has to be perverted in some way, and being in a room for 5 days can do that to a guy) and I think that my life has been lacking in some areas. I've never really known any Catholic school girls. And I saw so many episodes of Sailormoon as a kid and kept wondering why even interested. It's an empty whole in my heart that shall forever remain empty. I never knew any Goth girls past 8th grade. I used to chill with the goth kids in teh 8th grade and it was the funniest time of my life because they were all made up and in black from head to toe and there i was all preppy in the latest cargos and button up shirts. Oh well, I DID get to kiss a Goth girl...leaves your lips black. Then I knew I never knew any real cheerleaders. GASP! All these things going through my head as this woman smelling of orchids stands next to me rambling on about Jesus and his sacrifices. Then I noticed even worse, I've never dissected an animal in my science class. WHAT THE FUCK! I want an ET moment where i release all the frogs and piss off a cameo Harrison Ford proffessor.
Anywho before this ramble becomes too long I see the name of her group and notice something odd....The CHARITY OF CHRISTIAN CARE (or something like that).....am I only person who thinks....CCC=KKK. Have i found their hidden sect in Gainesville? and do they use gorgeous and seductive redheads to seduce foolish young men like myself in? I don't know. I listened to this womans ramble and though about how I could work this into a screenplay sometime but couldn't come up with anything remotly good that would seem realistic. I;d have to go to parody and have her skirt end a bit higher and her top a bit lower and then it would be jsut too stupid. Either way, i dont know where this rambling has gone....um....I think I need to get a shower in case tomorrow during my History exam I end up sitting next to some other gorgeous redhead. Do you know they seem to congregate here in southern florida. its sickening.
Oh well, less than 2 weeks to THE AVIATOR my friends and today saw clips of the aeiral stuff. OH MY GOD!!!!
.......actually gave up on all forms of religion a long time ago....figured there is a god but either A) no one knows what they're talking about or B) God made the world and then left it alone, which is what i believe. Hey, if Benjamin Franklin though like that then its good enough for me.
But do you knwo what I've been dying to do? Joel, if you ever read this when I come back in May we have to go back to the Scientologist church and watch the movie about the Greatness of Ron. I love that guy! He's jsut so...........Scientologisty.