The Oscars 2005
I've never liked the Oscars. It's the oddest awards ceremony on the planet. It's like watching Hollywood masturbate on stage. "Oh I want to thank my mom, my agent, oooh I'm close to cumming,, oh yeah I want to thank GOD!" And there's God trying to help out the families horrified by the tsunami's going "What the fuck? I helped an actor? Sorry dude, I got more important things to do." PLus they never make the right choice. In fact I can't think of a year when they've made the right choices. Example, Lord of the Rings should of won in 2001 for the first edition. NOT the weak third film in 2003. Either way, even though I hate the bloody awards every wannabe film person dreams of winning one, its just such a powerful symbol. Hell, I do admit to dreaming once or twice what I would say if I ever could have the chance of getting one. Who knows, dreams can come true.
So here's my speaking out about the wins of the Oscars. I won't talk about the show itself (boring), the host (Chris Rock-asshole) or the musical numbers (Beyonce Knowles singing in French? Fuck thats lame), but I'll talk about every category. Film is a jigsaw puzzle and it takes each aspect to make the best film possible. Not just actor and director. SO lets get started.
BEST ART DIRECTION
Dante Ferretti for The Aviator- and hell, of the nominees in that category, I can't complain. The technical work in this film was orgasmicly awesome. A good choice. But hell, the Oscars seem to always be right on the technical chocices.
BEST COSTUME
Sandy Powell for The Aviator- Once again of the nominees in this category Powell's work was definityl the best. She captured the style and mood of the 1920s,30s, and 40s so well. I admit to wishing I could own that SWEET Aviation jacket DiCaprio wore while filming Hell's Angels, that jacket was so freaking cool! Good choice Academy, though I admit, had the film been liked by the Academy, I thought the costumes in Alexander were incredible.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Robert Richardson for The Aviator- Thank fucking god! It finally happened! Scorsese, the director msot gifted with the movement of camera finally won his cinematographer an Oscar. The lighting in this film was gorgeous and the digital toning they did to make the film look like 2-tone Technicolor for the first half and then 3-tone for the second half, genius! So far so good Academy.
BEST EDITING
Thelma Schoonmaker for The Aviator- Now then,in post production the most important person to a film other than the director is the editor. They help set the pace and magic of the flow of information in the film. This is the second win for the Scorsese/Schoonmaker editing team which has been working together on every film since 1980s Raging Bull (the other Oscar win). I loved their work on this film and think it'll stand the test of time to show how great a classic The Aviator truly is.
BEST SOUND
Scott Millian for Ray- Can't say I understood this one. I figured this would've been another win for The Aviator simply because of the amazing sound work done on that horrifying 1946 crash scene. Oh well, the work done in Ray was pretty good, especially since the lead was blind so sound was extra important. Makes sense.
BEST SOUND EDITING
Michael Silvers for The Incredibles- Yay! The work on the Incredibles was genius and no complaints here.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
John Dykstra for Spider-Man 2- Well the good thing is there was no Lord of the Rings Part 4. This is the first film since Gladiator to win Best SFX that was not set in Middle-Earth. I though the work here was great but I did feel The Aviator was snubbed in this department, I've seen the movie countless times and the Hell's Angel's flying shooting scene still takes my breath away. Still, Dr. Octopus was the greates effect of 2004.
BEST MAKEUP
Valli O'Reilly for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events- WOW! I so was expecting this to go to THe Passion of The Christ because Jim Cavaziel disappeared under all those gashes and lacertations. Still, good choice overall. Jim Carrey disappeared under that makeup and they made 16 year old (she's 16 ok!, not that much younger) Emily Browning look ravinshingly gorgeous. Technical the Oscars are rarely wrong.
BEST SONG
Al Otro Lado Del Rio- Diaros De Motocicleta- Great song, once I heard it I loved it. Best overall. And Beyonce didn't have a chance to fuck it up at the Oscars. Thank the mooses!
BEST SCORE
Jan A.P. Kaczmarek for Finding Neverland- odd, a win for a subtle work. I don't remember a damn thing about the Finding Neverland score. In fact, without Howard Shore's incredible Rings work appearing this year I found the nominated scores this year to be rather lackluster. Oh well, best of the unmemorable. To be honest the 2 best scores of the year weren't nominated. Howard Shore was refused admitance for The Aviator because that film uses 2/3 source music and only 1/3 score so that disqualifies it. But the rob was Michael Giacchino for The Incredibles was snubbed. Weak one for the Academy.
BEST FOREIGN FILM
Spain for The Sea Inside- Eh, haven't seen it, doesn't sound interesting. I would've given it to Germany for Der Untergang.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Zana Briski for Born Into Brothels- The only one I've seen was SuperSize Me so I can't really judge. All teh Documentary and Short subjects leave me in teh dark cause I don't know them. At least Michael Moore was snubbed, the fat fucking hack.
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Robert Hudson for Mighty Times: The Children's March- had seen none. No comment
BEST SHORT FILM- ANIMATED
Chris Landreth for Ryan- the only one I saw was Gopher Broke (get it, Gopher Broke "Go For Broke") and I wanted that to win cause I loved it!
BEST SHORT FILM- LIVE ACTION
Andrea Arnold-Wasp- no comment.
BEST ANIMATED FILM
Brad Bird for The Incredibles- come on, of course this won. Who was gonna take it? Shrek 2? Sharktale. Dude, best speech ever! I love the Bradly Bird!
------------------------------------------The Dividing Line, Now they commonly Fuck Up--------------------
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Alexander Payne for Sideways- as is usual they get this category right. Mostly. But this year they did. Fuck Million Dollar Baby.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Charlie Kaufman for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- YES! OH FUCKING HELL YES!! As much as I loved The Aviator, this was defintly the best screenplay of the year and its just so warming to see Kaufman win for the most moving and special film of the year! PERFECT WIN!!!!!
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett for The Aviator- Good one. The other ones in this category were good but Cate was Kate the Great! Best acting win. Only downside...this means when I get The Aviator on DVD I'm 100% sure the box is gonna feature WINNER OF BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OSCARS 2005 on the cover, which is just such a distracting thing to say.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Morgan Freeman for Million Dollar Baby- I love Morgan. I don't think his work in M$B was anything special, personally I would've given it to Clive Owen for Closer or Alan Alda for his slimey senator role in The Aviator. But hey, Morgan has never won and he'll likely never be up again. Plus the Academy is terrified of upsetting the angry blacks.
BEST ACTRESS
Hilary Swank for Million Dollar Baby- So Swank wins an Oscar for playing a man...again. Fucking weak win. Her work was nothing short of Oscar grubby and I personally found it to be empty and vapid. So straight up the Academy's asshole, they love corn. I would've given it to Kate Winslet for Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, because she was able to make me fall in love with her even when we see her character at her most honestly bitchy. The Academy fucks up.
BEST ACTOR
Jamie Foxx for Ray- He was great in that film. Ok win. If he wasn't up for the award I wouldn't of minded to see Leonardo DiCaprio win. Still, an ok decision. Sean Penn was better last year for Mystic River but it was nice to see Foxx take it.
BEST DIRECTOR
Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby- sigh....fuck you Academy. Martin Scorsese did a much better work but he's a New Yorker, unlike you L.A. fucks. Oh well, Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick and Akira Kurosawa never won so I guess the fuckers are wrong every time.
BEST PICTURE
Million Dollar Baby- The Aviator deserved this. But it wasnt shit. So it lost.
So overall, an average Oscars. They got the technical ones right and fucked up the acting and directing ones.
And that's that....
So here's my speaking out about the wins of the Oscars. I won't talk about the show itself (boring), the host (Chris Rock-asshole) or the musical numbers (Beyonce Knowles singing in French? Fuck thats lame), but I'll talk about every category. Film is a jigsaw puzzle and it takes each aspect to make the best film possible. Not just actor and director. SO lets get started.
BEST ART DIRECTION
Dante Ferretti for The Aviator- and hell, of the nominees in that category, I can't complain. The technical work in this film was orgasmicly awesome. A good choice. But hell, the Oscars seem to always be right on the technical chocices.
BEST COSTUME
Sandy Powell for The Aviator- Once again of the nominees in this category Powell's work was definityl the best. She captured the style and mood of the 1920s,30s, and 40s so well. I admit to wishing I could own that SWEET Aviation jacket DiCaprio wore while filming Hell's Angels, that jacket was so freaking cool! Good choice Academy, though I admit, had the film been liked by the Academy, I thought the costumes in Alexander were incredible.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Robert Richardson for The Aviator- Thank fucking god! It finally happened! Scorsese, the director msot gifted with the movement of camera finally won his cinematographer an Oscar. The lighting in this film was gorgeous and the digital toning they did to make the film look like 2-tone Technicolor for the first half and then 3-tone for the second half, genius! So far so good Academy.
BEST EDITING
Thelma Schoonmaker for The Aviator- Now then,in post production the most important person to a film other than the director is the editor. They help set the pace and magic of the flow of information in the film. This is the second win for the Scorsese/Schoonmaker editing team which has been working together on every film since 1980s Raging Bull (the other Oscar win). I loved their work on this film and think it'll stand the test of time to show how great a classic The Aviator truly is.
BEST SOUND
Scott Millian for Ray- Can't say I understood this one. I figured this would've been another win for The Aviator simply because of the amazing sound work done on that horrifying 1946 crash scene. Oh well, the work done in Ray was pretty good, especially since the lead was blind so sound was extra important. Makes sense.
BEST SOUND EDITING
Michael Silvers for The Incredibles- Yay! The work on the Incredibles was genius and no complaints here.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
John Dykstra for Spider-Man 2- Well the good thing is there was no Lord of the Rings Part 4. This is the first film since Gladiator to win Best SFX that was not set in Middle-Earth. I though the work here was great but I did feel The Aviator was snubbed in this department, I've seen the movie countless times and the Hell's Angel's flying shooting scene still takes my breath away. Still, Dr. Octopus was the greates effect of 2004.
BEST MAKEUP
Valli O'Reilly for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events- WOW! I so was expecting this to go to THe Passion of The Christ because Jim Cavaziel disappeared under all those gashes and lacertations. Still, good choice overall. Jim Carrey disappeared under that makeup and they made 16 year old (she's 16 ok!, not that much younger) Emily Browning look ravinshingly gorgeous. Technical the Oscars are rarely wrong.
BEST SONG
Al Otro Lado Del Rio- Diaros De Motocicleta- Great song, once I heard it I loved it. Best overall. And Beyonce didn't have a chance to fuck it up at the Oscars. Thank the mooses!
BEST SCORE
Jan A.P. Kaczmarek for Finding Neverland- odd, a win for a subtle work. I don't remember a damn thing about the Finding Neverland score. In fact, without Howard Shore's incredible Rings work appearing this year I found the nominated scores this year to be rather lackluster. Oh well, best of the unmemorable. To be honest the 2 best scores of the year weren't nominated. Howard Shore was refused admitance for The Aviator because that film uses 2/3 source music and only 1/3 score so that disqualifies it. But the rob was Michael Giacchino for The Incredibles was snubbed. Weak one for the Academy.
BEST FOREIGN FILM
Spain for The Sea Inside- Eh, haven't seen it, doesn't sound interesting. I would've given it to Germany for Der Untergang.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Zana Briski for Born Into Brothels- The only one I've seen was SuperSize Me so I can't really judge. All teh Documentary and Short subjects leave me in teh dark cause I don't know them. At least Michael Moore was snubbed, the fat fucking hack.
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Robert Hudson for Mighty Times: The Children's March- had seen none. No comment
BEST SHORT FILM- ANIMATED
Chris Landreth for Ryan- the only one I saw was Gopher Broke (get it, Gopher Broke "Go For Broke") and I wanted that to win cause I loved it!
BEST SHORT FILM- LIVE ACTION
Andrea Arnold-Wasp- no comment.
BEST ANIMATED FILM
Brad Bird for The Incredibles- come on, of course this won. Who was gonna take it? Shrek 2? Sharktale. Dude, best speech ever! I love the Bradly Bird!
------------------------------------------The Dividing Line, Now they commonly Fuck Up--------------------
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Alexander Payne for Sideways- as is usual they get this category right. Mostly. But this year they did. Fuck Million Dollar Baby.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Charlie Kaufman for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- YES! OH FUCKING HELL YES!! As much as I loved The Aviator, this was defintly the best screenplay of the year and its just so warming to see Kaufman win for the most moving and special film of the year! PERFECT WIN!!!!!
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett for The Aviator- Good one. The other ones in this category were good but Cate was Kate the Great! Best acting win. Only downside...this means when I get The Aviator on DVD I'm 100% sure the box is gonna feature WINNER OF BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OSCARS 2005 on the cover, which is just such a distracting thing to say.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Morgan Freeman for Million Dollar Baby- I love Morgan. I don't think his work in M$B was anything special, personally I would've given it to Clive Owen for Closer or Alan Alda for his slimey senator role in The Aviator. But hey, Morgan has never won and he'll likely never be up again. Plus the Academy is terrified of upsetting the angry blacks.
BEST ACTRESS
Hilary Swank for Million Dollar Baby- So Swank wins an Oscar for playing a man...again. Fucking weak win. Her work was nothing short of Oscar grubby and I personally found it to be empty and vapid. So straight up the Academy's asshole, they love corn. I would've given it to Kate Winslet for Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, because she was able to make me fall in love with her even when we see her character at her most honestly bitchy. The Academy fucks up.
BEST ACTOR
Jamie Foxx for Ray- He was great in that film. Ok win. If he wasn't up for the award I wouldn't of minded to see Leonardo DiCaprio win. Still, an ok decision. Sean Penn was better last year for Mystic River but it was nice to see Foxx take it.
BEST DIRECTOR
Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby- sigh....fuck you Academy. Martin Scorsese did a much better work but he's a New Yorker, unlike you L.A. fucks. Oh well, Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick and Akira Kurosawa never won so I guess the fuckers are wrong every time.
BEST PICTURE
Million Dollar Baby- The Aviator deserved this. But it wasnt shit. So it lost.
So overall, an average Oscars. They got the technical ones right and fucked up the acting and directing ones.
And that's that....