(no subject)
Some mornings you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Some mornings you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, trip, step a black cat, stub your toe, accidently push a mirror off the shelf shattering it into a thousand pieces, and smash your head on the dresser all in one glorious motion.
This was one of the latter kinds of mornings.
I'd rather not go into details, but there are times when I get furious and frustrated enough with myself that I very badly want to crawl away somewhere quiet to die. This graduation thing has me on edge- I'm crying and snapping at people which only makes me ever so much more embarrassed-
Sometimes I convince myself that I'm not good for Tim, that I should be cruel enough to force him away for his own benefit...of course, I can't bare to see him in pain because I really do care about him, and knowing that I hurt him only makes me angrier at myself and want to push him away more...
This is the awful self-revulsion and conflict on which plays are made. I'm such a twit.
Sometimes I'm terrified. And I'm ashamed of that.
This was one of the latter kinds of mornings.
I'd rather not go into details, but there are times when I get furious and frustrated enough with myself that I very badly want to crawl away somewhere quiet to die. This graduation thing has me on edge- I'm crying and snapping at people which only makes me ever so much more embarrassed-
Sometimes I convince myself that I'm not good for Tim, that I should be cruel enough to force him away for his own benefit...of course, I can't bare to see him in pain because I really do care about him, and knowing that I hurt him only makes me angrier at myself and want to push him away more...
This is the awful self-revulsion and conflict on which plays are made. I'm such a twit.
Sometimes I'm terrified. And I'm ashamed of that.