(no subject)
Don't you just love my communication skills? I contact people, assure them that I love to chat with them, promise to get back soon, and then apparently fall off the face of the earth for months...
Well one of the reasons is that when things aren't going to plan and I don't want to admit it I stop talking to people so I won't have to. And on that note I hate substitute teaching and I'm not doing it any more. So that means that when people ask "What are you doing?" I have no good answer, so again I avoid talking to people. And then I feel lonely and depressed so I don't call people, which causes me to feel more lonely and depressed... Not the cleverest of cycles.
So I"m kinda freaking out here I have no job and no plan. And while just getting some random job isn't really a problem, I was kinda hoping to, you know, figure out what I"m doing and work towards that. The plan is not going well. My biggest problem is that I really don't know what I want to do. I mean really. I don't even really have any hobbies that I could pursue as my dream of making my fun work for me. And now I"m so desperate for a long term plan, just so I'll have something to work towards, I worry that I'll take the first thing that comes along, regardless of whether it's actually something I want to do... (Oh and when I said "kinda freaking out" I meant, really really freaking out)
So I have random bursts of freakout (as witnessed above) but mostly I"m not too uncalm (though waiting to see if everything is gonna happen in time for the trip to the Bay and Chico is pretty nerve wracking...). So don't let my lack of communication or my bizarre bursts of venting alarm you unduly.
Well one of the reasons is that when things aren't going to plan and I don't want to admit it I stop talking to people so I won't have to. And on that note I hate substitute teaching and I'm not doing it any more. So that means that when people ask "What are you doing?" I have no good answer, so again I avoid talking to people. And then I feel lonely and depressed so I don't call people, which causes me to feel more lonely and depressed... Not the cleverest of cycles.
So I"m kinda freaking out here I have no job and no plan. And while just getting some random job isn't really a problem, I was kinda hoping to, you know, figure out what I"m doing and work towards that. The plan is not going well. My biggest problem is that I really don't know what I want to do. I mean really. I don't even really have any hobbies that I could pursue as my dream of making my fun work for me. And now I"m so desperate for a long term plan, just so I'll have something to work towards, I worry that I'll take the first thing that comes along, regardless of whether it's actually something I want to do... (Oh and when I said "kinda freaking out" I meant, really really freaking out)
So I have random bursts of freakout (as witnessed above) but mostly I"m not too uncalm (though waiting to see if everything is gonna happen in time for the trip to the Bay and Chico is pretty nerve wracking...). So don't let my lack of communication or my bizarre bursts of venting alarm you unduly.