Retail Ratatouille
I need answers!!!
I may have posted about this before, but if I have I can't remember it and I'm fresh out of ideas anyway.
So....
In my job things are very social. We greet 400 people a day and if we're not careful we might sound fake after a while. And if anything, we do NOT sell fake. I make it a requirement that my staff make up new answers to the dreaded English phrase "How Are You?"
Did you know that English is the only language that uses that phrase as a greeting? Nobody's actually asking how you are, they're just saying "Hi." But if you come back with an answer that's out of the ordinary ("Living The Dream" for instance), you zap a person's focus onto you. Hell, just saying "I'm dying of cancer" - although it may not get a laugh - will for sure put an emphasis on the fact that you were genuinely listening to their question.
Now don't misunderstand me - I don't do this for the sales. We have plenty of sales, that's not the point : We spend 85% of our effing lives in this building and it HAS to be fun and interesting. So many people pass through our doors and think that we're trying to sell them a car upon saying Hello. I hate that. Actually doing that in our store kind of makes you look like a dumb schmuck. I mean maybe, just MAYBE we're actually cool fun people who are trying to have a nice day and make you have one too but you gotta ruin the whole thing by being boring and wrapped up in yourself. I mean, whatever - we just shrug you off and give you your space, keep an eye on you from a distance just to make sure you're not stealing. And please don't take that personally - there's wicked theft issues on our street and so far I've caught every single one of them red-handed by not discriminating.
But I digress.
Point is, I'm running a little dry myself. I've been there for seven years, and I'm the biggest social bug in the joint. I have to set an example and need some ideas. Yesterday I answered "I'm waxing lyrical" to a guy who actually got it and fell over laughing and then hung out for over an hour. But I can't use those kind of answers all the time, on everyone. I need new ones, and my staff are catching up with me.
So...to all you great writers out there on my LJ, shout out a few of your best retorts!!
I may have posted about this before, but if I have I can't remember it and I'm fresh out of ideas anyway.
So....
In my job things are very social. We greet 400 people a day and if we're not careful we might sound fake after a while. And if anything, we do NOT sell fake. I make it a requirement that my staff make up new answers to the dreaded English phrase "How Are You?"
Did you know that English is the only language that uses that phrase as a greeting? Nobody's actually asking how you are, they're just saying "Hi." But if you come back with an answer that's out of the ordinary ("Living The Dream" for instance), you zap a person's focus onto you. Hell, just saying "I'm dying of cancer" - although it may not get a laugh - will for sure put an emphasis on the fact that you were genuinely listening to their question.
Now don't misunderstand me - I don't do this for the sales. We have plenty of sales, that's not the point : We spend 85% of our effing lives in this building and it HAS to be fun and interesting. So many people pass through our doors and think that we're trying to sell them a car upon saying Hello. I hate that. Actually doing that in our store kind of makes you look like a dumb schmuck. I mean maybe, just MAYBE we're actually cool fun people who are trying to have a nice day and make you have one too but you gotta ruin the whole thing by being boring and wrapped up in yourself. I mean, whatever - we just shrug you off and give you your space, keep an eye on you from a distance just to make sure you're not stealing. And please don't take that personally - there's wicked theft issues on our street and so far I've caught every single one of them red-handed by not discriminating.
But I digress.
Point is, I'm running a little dry myself. I've been there for seven years, and I'm the biggest social bug in the joint. I have to set an example and need some ideas. Yesterday I answered "I'm waxing lyrical" to a guy who actually got it and fell over laughing and then hung out for over an hour. But I can't use those kind of answers all the time, on everyone. I need new ones, and my staff are catching up with me.
So...to all you great writers out there on my LJ, shout out a few of your best retorts!!