long weekend
MIS is this weekend. i havent gone in like 3 years. im going again-cuz no one else can and if dont i'll basically be sticking my thumb up rachel's ass... which just isnt what good friend's do.
as if to read my mind, my cousin decided to tell me she's going to be in my wedding.
i told her i already knew that.
she seemed happy-lol...
we cleaned out the basement and my mom found a disposable camera that she went and got developed... there were a bunch of pictures of gavin from like a year ago... he and i playing with a blanket and cuddling... he has gotten so big... i dont want him to grow up. i keep waiting for the day when he doesnt want me to pick him up and swing him around and hop around like tigger anymore.. the idea alone petrifies me. i want him to be a lost boy forever... never grow up... give me some fairy dust.
there were also 3 very random pictures in there. the summer after i left grand valley, luko, traci, alison and i met over alison's house... for those of you who don't know--luko was my best friend in high school who i roomed with at GVSU--traci and al were our neighbors and first friend's... we basically all went through that first year together.. well, first semester. point is-i wouldn't even have made it that semester without those ladies--esp luko and al...
i miss them. i miss being on my own. i dont miss the cold or the unpersonal atmosphere of grand valley... but i miss the luko, al, shaun, and matt. i also found a 2 letters shaun wrote me while i was there. i think if he and i had stayed as good of friends as we started out as.. i might have made it.
i dont know why no one reached out to me while i was there... i definitely take full responsibility for separating myself... but i think the fact that i was drowning and luko didn't really try to save me is what ruined our friendship in the end.
i havent talked to her since january.
i miss her everyday.
i keep thinking we must be completely different people... or she must be... cuz i feel the exact same-like none of my priorities have changed in the least.. but if that's true-how come i've let it go this far? even if i did call her and try to talk things out... i dont even know where things went wrong. how do you fix whats broken when you dont know why its broke?
as if to read my mind, my cousin decided to tell me she's going to be in my wedding.
i told her i already knew that.
she seemed happy-lol...
we cleaned out the basement and my mom found a disposable camera that she went and got developed... there were a bunch of pictures of gavin from like a year ago... he and i playing with a blanket and cuddling... he has gotten so big... i dont want him to grow up. i keep waiting for the day when he doesnt want me to pick him up and swing him around and hop around like tigger anymore.. the idea alone petrifies me. i want him to be a lost boy forever... never grow up... give me some fairy dust.
there were also 3 very random pictures in there. the summer after i left grand valley, luko, traci, alison and i met over alison's house... for those of you who don't know--luko was my best friend in high school who i roomed with at GVSU--traci and al were our neighbors and first friend's... we basically all went through that first year together.. well, first semester. point is-i wouldn't even have made it that semester without those ladies--esp luko and al...
i miss them. i miss being on my own. i dont miss the cold or the unpersonal atmosphere of grand valley... but i miss the luko, al, shaun, and matt. i also found a 2 letters shaun wrote me while i was there. i think if he and i had stayed as good of friends as we started out as.. i might have made it.
i dont know why no one reached out to me while i was there... i definitely take full responsibility for separating myself... but i think the fact that i was drowning and luko didn't really try to save me is what ruined our friendship in the end.
i havent talked to her since january.
i miss her everyday.
i keep thinking we must be completely different people... or she must be... cuz i feel the exact same-like none of my priorities have changed in the least.. but if that's true-how come i've let it go this far? even if i did call her and try to talk things out... i dont even know where things went wrong. how do you fix whats broken when you dont know why its broke?