(no subject)

Nov 23, 2005 08:59

I was all stoked to actually have access to my LJ again. I thought I had all these great things to write about. But on second thought, I really have nothing to say.

I'm trying to get to a place where I don't need to take two ambien to fall asleep. It's a lot easier to use ambien and fall into a dark sleep for 5 hours than to face the people I want to hide from, which mostly means Adam and I are having a fight, or we hate each other or something, so I take my pills so he disappears from my memory for a few hours. That may sound pretty dark, but I think every relationship must come to this point; it seems like half of all couples I know use some outside force to escape from their partner. The only real problem I see is that it's come to this after only two years. Sometimes I'm nearly convinced that we hate each other, we only stick around to prove how strong (read: stubborn) we are. I'm sure this all sounds very dark. Maybe it is, I don't know. It's become such a part of what we are that it's hard to see how things could be any different.
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