Dec 15, 2005 13:04
so i have waited all semester to come home for christmas vacation, it's a month long...and now that i'm here, all i keep thinking to myself is "is it over yet?" not that anything is wrong, i just really miss school already and i've only been home for one day so far, i got here at noon yesterday and i just want to leave and go back to my friends, who are more like my family. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself for an entire month. i am going to see them all for sure at some point in time which will be wonderful, but then saying goodbye again is going to suck. i tried to say goodbye to everybody the night before i left, but then jessica and i decided at 1 in the morning that we were going to make nikki a scrapbook since we wouldn't be seeing her next semester. so we stayed up until 5 am making this amazing scrapbook, and that day nikki was crying because it finally hit her that she was leaving for good this time, and then that night it hit me...but it didn't really really hit me, until i walked over to her room that morning at 7am, because i was leaving by 8am, and handed the scrapbook to her. it was then that i realized that i would no longer be walking across the building to visit her at night, or to take 'naps' in 323B laurel i would no longer be playing DDR with the best person at mansfield university. it was then that i realized that there would be no more 3am phone calls wondering where i was or what i was doing, no more waking up to her laying right beside me, no more cuddling. it was then that i realized what i really had, and guess what, it was gone. i never fully believed the saying that you don't know what you've got until it's gone until that day; i no longer have my best friend, my significant other, she's just....gone. my family is at school, not here in hollidaysburg, but up there in mansfield at college that's where my true family is at. we are all spread apart right now, and i've only been away for one day and already i miss them like crazy and want to cry every second of the day becuase i'm not with them. what am i going to do when i do get back to school finally? when i realize that nikki will not be there, and realize that stephanie will not be there(well she will, but not on campus) when i realize that what i had is not what i want anymore. what i had, is what i long for. i long for the days when we were best friends, when life was so easy and care free, when we didn't fight or argue, when all we did was take 'naps' together, when we spent weekends together. i long for those days, and those days have come and gone and will never return again. i miss you guys so fucking much. it's true what they say ya know, that you may never talk to your friends from high school ever again after graduation, but your friends from college will become like your family...you guys truly are my family, and i'm so glad that i have such a wonderful one. jessica lynn; i'm so glad that you are my best friend. i don't know what the fuck i would do if it weren't for you. we're definately hanging out over break, even i have to come all the fucking way to philly, we WILL see each other. and we'll go and see steph and nikki and eli and kate and cassy! we're going for a road trip yo! I love you!
now that i have rambled on about how much i miss my friends from college, i'm going to go now and find something to keep myself occupied so that hopefully i won't think about this quite so much. lots of love.
hit me up at home...814.330.8402 love you guys