wow!!
WOw, so it's been like forever since I updated not that anybody really noticed. Not too much ha been going on, I've been working like mad lately, not that i'm complaining cuz we all know that I need the money. And I get to work w/ my "buddy" a lot which is cool. I really like him, and Michelle thinks for real that this guy is different than the last. She said he acts differenlty around me than he does other people, and he looks right at me when he talks to me, oh my god. If somebody were to tell me 6 months ago that I could ever feel the way I do when I'm around him, I would have laughed in their faces, not thinking that anybody could ever make me feel this happy, but he does. WHen I'm around him, and he talks to me, he makes me feel like a human being, but then again so do Michelle, Jiggles, Ryan, Jenn and Tiny Tim. I think that working at McDonald's is the best thing that's ever happened to me, because of all the people who really care about me. IN spite of everybody being around me and caring, I still can't seem to stop cutting. Epescially since Alyce's death. I'm pretty much over it, but then I look at the pictures and they make me so mad at her, I just want to kill myslef because of what she did, I get so angry and I dont' know what else to do to get my anger and frustration out. Or the pain that's still insdie, then thinking about Alyce makes me think about my great-grandma. I never thought about her when she died that much, but latly I've been thinking about a lot of people that I miss, and how much I really do miss them, but didn't appreciate them when they were here. THen I think fo Travis, and I just can't stop. I get so angry at myself for letting my parent's control my emotions that I just slice myself up and I don't want to stop this addiction.
I cut my arms to see them bleed
It's an addiction that I need
I don't need your love and care
I need my razor, it's always there
No matter what I say, or what I do
It's always there, it pulls me through
So in other news SAT's were today, didn't do too poorly I don't think. They seemed pretty easy, i just skipped the ones I didn't know. ANd I went and visited Jamie last night, hey thanks for the food, she always looks out for me :-) ANd I think that's about it, because nobody really wants to read this...
I cut my arms to see them bleed
It's an addiction that I need
I don't need your love and care
I need my razor, it's always there
No matter what I say, or what I do
It's always there, it pulls me through
So in other news SAT's were today, didn't do too poorly I don't think. They seemed pretty easy, i just skipped the ones I didn't know. ANd I went and visited Jamie last night, hey thanks for the food, she always looks out for me :-) ANd I think that's about it, because nobody really wants to read this...