Resiliance
Today I went X-mas shopping with my mom, grandma, and Karlee. We ended up getting done early, I found pretty much everything I needed to get for my mom, brother, kyle's dad, and so far i have one thing for kyle. I still have to get somethiing for my dad and kyle's mom. I hate money. I have none so my mom gave me $100 but i have to pay it all back. She is going to let me clean the house for her--$12 an hour instead of having a maid do it for $25. I'll take it. I'm going to apply at Starbucks though, I'm pumped. Karlee we should go together and get apps. I'm a little nervous for my first vball practice on sunday..but it should be fun. Nothing else is new..except Kyle is coming over tonight so we can watch a movie and play apples to apples. god i love that game! I almost done with the series I have been reading. I read the 2nd book yesterday, the 3rd book today, and I just started on the 4th. I just love reading, it lets me take a break from my life and dive into someone els's. Idk how to explain it without sounding wierd. I'v been kind of down lately and I don't know why..but I'm feeling a little better today. I wish it were possible for me to have happiness for more than one day once in awhile. Sometimes i feel like I need a therapist to talk to because I dont have anyone who knows how I feel. Maybe its because I dont tell anyone how i REALLY feel, except kyle, but I know he doesn;t really understand..cuz I am really screwed up, idk. I think it would be nice to have a therapist though, cuz they could tell me WHY i feel the way i do, and what I can do to make it go away maybe? At Jr. Leadershp 2 weeks ago we had 'health day' and one session was with a therapist and she talked about emotions and stress. She said that everyone has 'resiliance' which is like.. something that helps you get back up when you are down, or 'bounce'. We all got bouncy balls. I took a big one because I struggle with acheiving my 'bounce' slash 'resiliance'. I wish it were as easy as it sounds to have resiliance. In a way LJ is like a resiliant thing because I have all my friends to help me out, but that holds me back from writing down most of my real feeling and emotions. I kind of want to get a journal to actually write in, like the kid, Jonah, who I'm reading in my books right now has. I think I'll have to take a trip to wal-mart soon. But I do want to say thanks to all of you who help me when I'm down, I dont know what I would do without you. Sorry for writing so much, you didn't have to read this, I just need to write down me real feelings once in awhile, cuz we all know its hard to hold it in. Happy belated thanksgiving everyone.