Another day....
So last night everything that's happening finally hit me. Everything is not to be taken lightly. I need to be serious. I need to be strong. I have been so far but for everything that is ahead of me I need to be THAT much stronger. I have to deal with working a lot, going to school 20 hrs a week and studying my ASS off to be a medical assistant, trying to keep in touch with my friends, visiting my family more, and everything with the man is still up in the air. It's so hard right now. I don't understand why people have to do things like this. To salvage their own lives, they need to tear other lives apart. One of which always happens to be mine. I can control things within my power but most of the time I'm just a puppet for whoever to string me along.
I'm having a lot of family problems right now. Until a few weeks ago I hadn't seen my brother or sister in 2 years. They live with their dad (my mom's second husband), and not having a car to go visit them he wouldn't help me out to see them. So Matt and I were driving through Bridgewater one day so he could show me something and we passed by where they live so I asked if we could stop in. Two years is a long time. My brother is now 15 and my sister is 13. They are SO much taller, my sister wore makeup and had dyed her beautiful blonde hair, my brother looked so much older, his voice was different. It just shocked me I couldn't get over it. You know how it is when you haven't seen someone in a long time and you just imagine them always looking the same.
On top of this I haven't seen my mom since I graduated high school in June. She lives in Maine and hasn't been down here in awhile, which sucks because my grandfather is dying and I have no way to go see him unless she picks me up on her way there to see him. He broke his hip in October and has been in bed/hospitalized/in a nursing home since. He had pnuemonia and the doctors kept saying he wasn't gonna live more than a few days but it's been months. My grandfather is a fighting bastard. I am so encouraged by him and everything he has done for his family.
I wish I could see my dad's side of the family too. So much time has gone by. They live in Arizona and when I see them again, my grandparents will look older, my cousins bigger, my cousin Adam will have a whole family! His girlfriend has a 5 yr old already and they are having twins together. He's only 20 but the way our family is, we're just so family oriented that we're happy with what we have and want the things that'll make us most happy. I bet he is so happy with it and I'm glad. He deserves to be happy. I miss them soooooo much.
Sorry this is such a long entry but I have so much occupying my mind that I needed to get it out.
Everything will work out. I don't doubt it.
I'm having a lot of family problems right now. Until a few weeks ago I hadn't seen my brother or sister in 2 years. They live with their dad (my mom's second husband), and not having a car to go visit them he wouldn't help me out to see them. So Matt and I were driving through Bridgewater one day so he could show me something and we passed by where they live so I asked if we could stop in. Two years is a long time. My brother is now 15 and my sister is 13. They are SO much taller, my sister wore makeup and had dyed her beautiful blonde hair, my brother looked so much older, his voice was different. It just shocked me I couldn't get over it. You know how it is when you haven't seen someone in a long time and you just imagine them always looking the same.
On top of this I haven't seen my mom since I graduated high school in June. She lives in Maine and hasn't been down here in awhile, which sucks because my grandfather is dying and I have no way to go see him unless she picks me up on her way there to see him. He broke his hip in October and has been in bed/hospitalized/in a nursing home since. He had pnuemonia and the doctors kept saying he wasn't gonna live more than a few days but it's been months. My grandfather is a fighting bastard. I am so encouraged by him and everything he has done for his family.
I wish I could see my dad's side of the family too. So much time has gone by. They live in Arizona and when I see them again, my grandparents will look older, my cousins bigger, my cousin Adam will have a whole family! His girlfriend has a 5 yr old already and they are having twins together. He's only 20 but the way our family is, we're just so family oriented that we're happy with what we have and want the things that'll make us most happy. I bet he is so happy with it and I'm glad. He deserves to be happy. I miss them soooooo much.
Sorry this is such a long entry but I have so much occupying my mind that I needed to get it out.
Everything will work out. I don't doubt it.