Take a step back...
Take a step back and look at your life, look at yourself for what and who you truely are. I have and I think I can tell you that I am SO much closer to being the very person I want to be. Don't get me wrong, I have hardly anything accomplished in my life. I'm out of high school, not in college, no job, no car but a license, a rocky potentially awesome relationship (as weird as that sounds). I always thought by the time I was 18 I would have a school to go to and a car to drive there, a job to pay for it and my apartment which I have yet to afford renting...but I slacked off. I just screwed around and didn't get anything done.
If you knew me the way I used to be, the way I was before I got serious about my life, I doubt you could figure out how I got from there to here. In my eyes I consider that me a monster. People I see now that are like I was then, I wish I could just shake them I really do. I still feel depressed and unsatisfied with everything. I'm still an angry person, I still hate the world. But my outlook on life is completely different. I get how it works, and now I'm trying to figure out how to work my way into it. I consider myself to be smart, understanding, now a good person.
Oh man if you only knew!! Nothing I did I thought badly about, I just always thought about how not to get caught. Around me you had to watch your boyfriends, I smoked weed and snorted pills, drank at every opportunity, usually tried to mix one with the other, I missed so much school my last year, I fucked over my best friend constantly with guys she liked, friends she had, situations we were in, I always wanted to outdo her. To some people that may not sound bad but if you're one of those people maybe you should think about why you're worse lol. I hate admitting I was like that.
Now I am NOTHING like that. I've learned to be a better person. Actually, the way I'm explaining this is as if I always was a bad person but I was still a good person through it all I just sort of, lost myself. But I'm back bitches!! No for real I am, if you're my friend now you know, I'm almost where I need to be at with myself.
If you knew me the way I used to be, the way I was before I got serious about my life, I doubt you could figure out how I got from there to here. In my eyes I consider that me a monster. People I see now that are like I was then, I wish I could just shake them I really do. I still feel depressed and unsatisfied with everything. I'm still an angry person, I still hate the world. But my outlook on life is completely different. I get how it works, and now I'm trying to figure out how to work my way into it. I consider myself to be smart, understanding, now a good person.
Oh man if you only knew!! Nothing I did I thought badly about, I just always thought about how not to get caught. Around me you had to watch your boyfriends, I smoked weed and snorted pills, drank at every opportunity, usually tried to mix one with the other, I missed so much school my last year, I fucked over my best friend constantly with guys she liked, friends she had, situations we were in, I always wanted to outdo her. To some people that may not sound bad but if you're one of those people maybe you should think about why you're worse lol. I hate admitting I was like that.
Now I am NOTHING like that. I've learned to be a better person. Actually, the way I'm explaining this is as if I always was a bad person but I was still a good person through it all I just sort of, lost myself. But I'm back bitches!! No for real I am, if you're my friend now you know, I'm almost where I need to be at with myself.