Yay! I'm not Pregnant!
Yay for a deeply personal post!
Y'know how every family has their own little quirks? Well, the women in my family like to get pregnant at young ages. My mother held the record of 21 years and 6.5 months. At that point in her life, she was pregnant with me.
All throughout my life, I've been different from my family. I always got good marks in school, I pretty much excelled at whatever I did. My parents had no idea where this came from.
I kind felt like I was breaking the family cycle and hopefully move past that kind of lifestyle. I'm quite aware that I'm on my way away from my family and forming my own lifestyle. I see that I'm quite different from them. For one, I'm the first one in my family to go to a 4-year University (my mother went to a 2 year community college and that was it). So obviously, my life is indeed quite different.
However, there was always something that has been looming over my head ever since I became sexually active: getting pregnant.
I became sexually active when I was 18 years old. It was Christmas Eve, and my boyfriend of two months and I decided that we would try (again) to have sex. We were both virgins and hadn't been with too many people (I had only been with one other person). I was already on the pill for cramps, so there was one form of birth control. He also used a condom. I would not let him get near me with out a condom on. I still won't let a penis get anywhere near my vagina unless it's covered (even if I'm on birth control). I'm too paranoid about it. A few months after we lost our virginities, the condom broke and I had missed a few days of the pill cus I'm a dumbass and can't remember to take a small lil pill every day. There was a very small chance that I might have gotten preggers, but I took the morning after pill anyways, just in case.
From age 19.5, I have had no reason to worry about getting pregnant for a very unfortunate reason. Geoff would not penetrate me with his penis. For 2 fucking years. He got me off in other ways, but still. It's different.
So, here I am. 21.5 years old. No baby. Not tied down. I have only myself that I have to take care of (well, and Smokey). I'm getting my bachelor's. I'm living in an apartment away from my parents. My circumstances are soo different from everyone else's in my family and it makes me so happy. I feel like I want to scream it from the top of my lungs.
But this is not to say that I have no respect for young mothers. In fact, it is the opposite. I have so much respect. I have seen what the female members in my family have gone through. That is NOT something I could do. I could not handle having that kind of responsibility in my life. But yet, they do handle. Better than I could. I applaud young mothers for having to grow up quickly. Yes, I know, I definitely do not act my age and that i'm "mature." But there is no way I'm mature enough to handle caring for another person. You are able to do something I cannot do, and I'm always amazed at women who can go through this.
So, that's my story. Deeply personal, I know. But it's a part of who I am. Nothing is going to change it. It's a part of me.
(hehe...I almost put down accomplished as my mood...)
Y'know how every family has their own little quirks? Well, the women in my family like to get pregnant at young ages. My mother held the record of 21 years and 6.5 months. At that point in her life, she was pregnant with me.
All throughout my life, I've been different from my family. I always got good marks in school, I pretty much excelled at whatever I did. My parents had no idea where this came from.
I kind felt like I was breaking the family cycle and hopefully move past that kind of lifestyle. I'm quite aware that I'm on my way away from my family and forming my own lifestyle. I see that I'm quite different from them. For one, I'm the first one in my family to go to a 4-year University (my mother went to a 2 year community college and that was it). So obviously, my life is indeed quite different.
However, there was always something that has been looming over my head ever since I became sexually active: getting pregnant.
I became sexually active when I was 18 years old. It was Christmas Eve, and my boyfriend of two months and I decided that we would try (again) to have sex. We were both virgins and hadn't been with too many people (I had only been with one other person). I was already on the pill for cramps, so there was one form of birth control. He also used a condom. I would not let him get near me with out a condom on. I still won't let a penis get anywhere near my vagina unless it's covered (even if I'm on birth control). I'm too paranoid about it. A few months after we lost our virginities, the condom broke and I had missed a few days of the pill cus I'm a dumbass and can't remember to take a small lil pill every day. There was a very small chance that I might have gotten preggers, but I took the morning after pill anyways, just in case.
From age 19.5, I have had no reason to worry about getting pregnant for a very unfortunate reason. Geoff would not penetrate me with his penis. For 2 fucking years. He got me off in other ways, but still. It's different.
So, here I am. 21.5 years old. No baby. Not tied down. I have only myself that I have to take care of (well, and Smokey). I'm getting my bachelor's. I'm living in an apartment away from my parents. My circumstances are soo different from everyone else's in my family and it makes me so happy. I feel like I want to scream it from the top of my lungs.
But this is not to say that I have no respect for young mothers. In fact, it is the opposite. I have so much respect. I have seen what the female members in my family have gone through. That is NOT something I could do. I could not handle having that kind of responsibility in my life. But yet, they do handle. Better than I could. I applaud young mothers for having to grow up quickly. Yes, I know, I definitely do not act my age and that i'm "mature." But there is no way I'm mature enough to handle caring for another person. You are able to do something I cannot do, and I'm always amazed at women who can go through this.
So, that's my story. Deeply personal, I know. But it's a part of who I am. Nothing is going to change it. It's a part of me.
(hehe...I almost put down accomplished as my mood...)