Let's be honest...
I really need to get somethings out, so bear with me, and if this hurts anyone who reads this, I am TRULY sorry. That's not my intention. I just can't hold it in anymore.
After damn near 4 years together and being broken up for almost a year, Bob finally buys me a ring. (It's a promise ring) And lets me go, all in the same day. Constant fighting for the past 3 days. He finally calms down. As hard as I try, I'm not happy with him. I don't want to be with him. I love him, but I can't be with him right now.
Which brings me to this: When I say that I love someone, I mean it. There's a difference between saying "I love you" and "I'm IN love with you" See, being in love is temporary. I can get over it. And when I do fall "IN love" with someone, when i finally do admit it, I mean it. But for me to tell someone that I FLAT OUT LOVE HIM, it takes a lot. I love someone, I love them for EVER. It doesn't fade away, it doesn't change. If I've told you that I love you, I still do, always will.
And the thing is, I'm in love with someone. I admit it. I'm so in love with him, that when he's not around, I can't think straight. (not that I can when he's with me) But here's the thing. I've been "In love" with him for a long time. I'm not just "in love" with him. I LOVE HIM. I don't know if I can tell him that. Because for one, he's not in a position where it would matter. He's with someone else. And for another, it may be too late already. it could wreck our friendship. And that would be worse. And The fact that we'll be working together in the years to come... well, wouldn't be for the best.
So now what? What do I do? Nothing I do will help. Unless something happens and he decides that we could...
No, he won't. He's too good of a person to do that. God bless him for it, and Damn him for it all at the same time.
And so I continue faking smiles and pretending that I'm okay. Just another day.
~AJ~
After damn near 4 years together and being broken up for almost a year, Bob finally buys me a ring. (It's a promise ring) And lets me go, all in the same day. Constant fighting for the past 3 days. He finally calms down. As hard as I try, I'm not happy with him. I don't want to be with him. I love him, but I can't be with him right now.
Which brings me to this: When I say that I love someone, I mean it. There's a difference between saying "I love you" and "I'm IN love with you" See, being in love is temporary. I can get over it. And when I do fall "IN love" with someone, when i finally do admit it, I mean it. But for me to tell someone that I FLAT OUT LOVE HIM, it takes a lot. I love someone, I love them for EVER. It doesn't fade away, it doesn't change. If I've told you that I love you, I still do, always will.
And the thing is, I'm in love with someone. I admit it. I'm so in love with him, that when he's not around, I can't think straight. (not that I can when he's with me) But here's the thing. I've been "In love" with him for a long time. I'm not just "in love" with him. I LOVE HIM. I don't know if I can tell him that. Because for one, he's not in a position where it would matter. He's with someone else. And for another, it may be too late already. it could wreck our friendship. And that would be worse. And The fact that we'll be working together in the years to come... well, wouldn't be for the best.
So now what? What do I do? Nothing I do will help. Unless something happens and he decides that we could...
No, he won't. He's too good of a person to do that. God bless him for it, and Damn him for it all at the same time.
And so I continue faking smiles and pretending that I'm okay. Just another day.
~AJ~