I don't know
My head is all over the place with Christmas and making everything and trying to do FUCK ALL and the wedding and then there's him. And I don't want to think about him. I'm a broken record. Anything to distract my thoughts from him I really just try to avoid it. And him. I act one way or another just to not act like I just want to hold him and well, I guess i have nothing else. My life is spent avoiding feelings for a man I have no right to feel for.