That is the last slap in the face that I am going to endure
SO a few days ago, I kept getting text messages from Taylors wife. Yes WIFE. He is one big fat fucking liar. They never were going through a divorce, they are still VERY much married. VERY MUCH MARRIED. the ONLY reason why she lives in north carolina right now is because there are no jobs for her in california being a teacher so they thought since he was deploying she would move the kids to north carolina and he would get stationed back there once he was done with the schooling he is in now. SO. funny. Okay. So she called me because she got sick of texting or something, and taylor told me not to tell her we had sex or anything of the sort. So of course, the IDIOT i am, actually LISTENED TO HIM.
so as we were talking on the phone i was really quiet and all i kept saying was that i was sorry and that i have been in her shoes with my ex husband john, having to call girls and get the story from them since he was a fucking liar and couldnt ever tell me the truth, and i never could tell what the truth was from him. so i understand EXACTLY where she is coming from. which sucks a lot. which made the situation even more humbling because i have never ever been the OTHER woman, i was always the wife. so it was very humbling and made me sick to my stomach and my anxiety has been back ever since. my stomach in knots and everything else.
so basically taylor was telling me he doesnt want to lose me and he doesnt want to stop talking to me and everything, and he was supposed to call me that night, ha, i havent heard from him since then. i hope she leaves his ass. i cannot believe i held him on a pedastool because i thought he was so perfect. i thought he could do no wrong, and he was so amazing. can you fucking believe this?? even the GOOD guys are really BAD guys.
OHHH. haha. and the KICKER the REALLL FUCKING KICKER in all of this is that his wife said that he has given her an std before. So here I am thinking about my CLAP that i got from Tim, and now I am re-thinking, did I really get it from tim ? or had i had it all along since i slept with taylor, and it just started giving me symptons when i slept with tim that last time ?? FUCK. fucking christ. seriously FUCK.
i fucking HATE him. I cannot believe I trusted him and thought he was so amazing and PERFECT. no man has compared to him, that is why I hardly date anymore, when i first was single back in feb and march i dated alot, lol. alot. i didnt sleep with anyone, just dated, I was out constantly and never home and yeah. and now, that we are in the 8th month of me being single, no, i dont date, because taylor is coming back from school in two weeks. HAHA. fuck my fucking life. i fucking dare him to start talking to me once he comes back, and wants to see me. i will go see him alright, to punch him in the damn face for doing this to me.
okay. so my birthday is friday, but my party is saturday. so i am making two things of my home made chicken enchiladas, and a small thing of chicken taquitos, and we'll have salsa and chips and soda, and i am not sure what i will drink, because after buying that i will be poor. so maybe i'll just stick to a fourloco and call it good, and watch everyone else drink because i made it BYOB. i am smart, yes. lol. i am wearing this cute dress with a belt, and then i bought a necklace, and earrings and fake eye lashes, and i will be so glammed up for my party. i am very excited. a day where its all about me. NO putting me down, NO crying, NO drama, just fun. a day of fun, focused around me being happy. i am well deserving of that right now, and i just cant wait. friday night at work i am going to bring all the food to work, at cook it there so i am not cooking all morning on saturday, so i can get dressed and fix my hair and make my music birthday play list on the computer, and decorate the house and whatever else.
its 108 days until i am supposed to move to north carolina. which is november 11th. but my sister in law invited me to a katy perry concert on the 22nd of november, so i think i might stay until that weekend of thanksgiving, so i can enjoy the holiday with my family one last time, and work an extra week, so i can have at least an extra 300 bucks in my bank account by the time i finish my drive there, since if i work that whole next week after the 11th, it'll be 40 hours so that'll get direct deposited into my account after i already get there. thankfully. i will probably need it for my cell phone, or gas, or an oil change at that point. lol. who knows. i just have to talk to tamara about it, maybe later though, in like october so she doesnt freak out, i mean its only two weeks after when i am supposed to be there, and lets face it, i can use all the money i can right about now.
and i kinda want to spend thanksgiving with my family, and they already are expecting it anyway, tamara and i are the only ones who know i am going on the 11th. my family would be crushed if i wasnt staying for thanksgiving, because i did promise i would, so i should just keep that promise, it wont kill me.
im tired, i have work tonight, and the rest of the week, and i work all the way into friday which is my birthday, so who knows. i hope its a good week, its my last week before i am 24. it better be a good week. i need a good week. please.
so as we were talking on the phone i was really quiet and all i kept saying was that i was sorry and that i have been in her shoes with my ex husband john, having to call girls and get the story from them since he was a fucking liar and couldnt ever tell me the truth, and i never could tell what the truth was from him. so i understand EXACTLY where she is coming from. which sucks a lot. which made the situation even more humbling because i have never ever been the OTHER woman, i was always the wife. so it was very humbling and made me sick to my stomach and my anxiety has been back ever since. my stomach in knots and everything else.
so basically taylor was telling me he doesnt want to lose me and he doesnt want to stop talking to me and everything, and he was supposed to call me that night, ha, i havent heard from him since then. i hope she leaves his ass. i cannot believe i held him on a pedastool because i thought he was so perfect. i thought he could do no wrong, and he was so amazing. can you fucking believe this?? even the GOOD guys are really BAD guys.
OHHH. haha. and the KICKER the REALLL FUCKING KICKER in all of this is that his wife said that he has given her an std before. So here I am thinking about my CLAP that i got from Tim, and now I am re-thinking, did I really get it from tim ? or had i had it all along since i slept with taylor, and it just started giving me symptons when i slept with tim that last time ?? FUCK. fucking christ. seriously FUCK.
i fucking HATE him. I cannot believe I trusted him and thought he was so amazing and PERFECT. no man has compared to him, that is why I hardly date anymore, when i first was single back in feb and march i dated alot, lol. alot. i didnt sleep with anyone, just dated, I was out constantly and never home and yeah. and now, that we are in the 8th month of me being single, no, i dont date, because taylor is coming back from school in two weeks. HAHA. fuck my fucking life. i fucking dare him to start talking to me once he comes back, and wants to see me. i will go see him alright, to punch him in the damn face for doing this to me.
okay. so my birthday is friday, but my party is saturday. so i am making two things of my home made chicken enchiladas, and a small thing of chicken taquitos, and we'll have salsa and chips and soda, and i am not sure what i will drink, because after buying that i will be poor. so maybe i'll just stick to a fourloco and call it good, and watch everyone else drink because i made it BYOB. i am smart, yes. lol. i am wearing this cute dress with a belt, and then i bought a necklace, and earrings and fake eye lashes, and i will be so glammed up for my party. i am very excited. a day where its all about me. NO putting me down, NO crying, NO drama, just fun. a day of fun, focused around me being happy. i am well deserving of that right now, and i just cant wait. friday night at work i am going to bring all the food to work, at cook it there so i am not cooking all morning on saturday, so i can get dressed and fix my hair and make my music birthday play list on the computer, and decorate the house and whatever else.
its 108 days until i am supposed to move to north carolina. which is november 11th. but my sister in law invited me to a katy perry concert on the 22nd of november, so i think i might stay until that weekend of thanksgiving, so i can enjoy the holiday with my family one last time, and work an extra week, so i can have at least an extra 300 bucks in my bank account by the time i finish my drive there, since if i work that whole next week after the 11th, it'll be 40 hours so that'll get direct deposited into my account after i already get there. thankfully. i will probably need it for my cell phone, or gas, or an oil change at that point. lol. who knows. i just have to talk to tamara about it, maybe later though, in like october so she doesnt freak out, i mean its only two weeks after when i am supposed to be there, and lets face it, i can use all the money i can right about now.
and i kinda want to spend thanksgiving with my family, and they already are expecting it anyway, tamara and i are the only ones who know i am going on the 11th. my family would be crushed if i wasnt staying for thanksgiving, because i did promise i would, so i should just keep that promise, it wont kill me.
im tired, i have work tonight, and the rest of the week, and i work all the way into friday which is my birthday, so who knows. i hope its a good week, its my last week before i am 24. it better be a good week. i need a good week. please.