(no subject)
I'm still transiting from nerd to normal person. My room's in a mess and it's like a half studying mess half make up dress up mess. I've got a new idea for my room, i'll have to get some nice shots but it'll take a little time because i guess i'm quite rusty with my slr. I'm quite rusty with everything actually, i've been going out feeling like a make up disaster and i don't dare to touch my guitar haha.
I finally got a dress for prom, but it's the simplest dress ever. I also got shoes from aldo, (neth totally adores them), funky, patent, black and white. You know, it's SO difficult to find a evening dress!! It's not even like deciding which dress you like better but more of dying trying to find a decent one. I even had to send the dress i got for alteration because it's still too damn big. I hate being puny sometimes. Okay, most of the time.
It's funny how i'll never put on the cj uniform again. I used to complain how i looked like a janitor 4 times a week (monday = tie day = not a janitor). I kinda left cj in the most peaceful manner. I spent the last few weeks of school sitting alone in some very nice secluded windy area doing work during my free periods, (i had a lot of free periods after i dropped my h2). It's also funny how people can make being alone feel like a disease when they go, why are you alone?! And most of the time, after i give my half grins, even i myself do not know why.
Isn't studying just another act of faith. It's almost like a religion. We cannot see but we believe. I've never seen particles collide but i actually do believe that the table i'm using to rest my laptop on now is made up of millions of particles vibrating about their fixed positions.
Glad the whole A level period is over. But i'm not going to throw my books and notes away. I'm going to keep everything in a nice big brown box . So, in a few months time, i'll know. I'll know whether i should retrieve everything from the box (like a nice slap in the face) or just freaking light it up and let it burn.
Somehow it feels like i'm just caught in between nothing now. Can't go forward, and i certainly can't go backwards either.
"Yesterday has happened, it's a safe place to be" (Okay it might not be word for word), but i remember if from the A level comprehension passage this year. Somehow, although we can't go back to the past, we find ourselves looking for it, staring at it. Trying to feel it.
But as i've said love, i wouldn't want to have it any other way.