(no subject)

[alla16]

i find passion to be hard. when you're passionate you are often deceived. you don't see all aspects of something. blinded by the beauty of something. my tendency toward pretension makes me very ashamed. and very afraid. but i would not want to blind myself to the foolishness of others by assuming that mine is the only. however it is very hard to avoid either whole-hearted condemnation of others or whole-hearted condemnation of self. navigating that middle ground leaves me feeling like there is nothing in my head, or that i have forgotten some important points. i don't quite understand. i don't have a hold on any of it. and that's really uncomfortable.

i'm uncomfortable.