happy lunar new year!
dont you just love those little piggies that google put up on the front page? haha.
something funny happened this weekend. i went home for dinner last night for new years eve after i had been doing work all day so i was exhausted. but while she was watching her new years special performance thing or whatever, i was just reading US weekly.. catching up on like celebrity gossip or rather, just letting my mind relax and take in all the eye candy. so my mom was flipping through the channels and somehow landed on showtime and it caught my attention that it was THE L WORD! haha.. i tried not to react too surprised or too giddy about it. i also remembered that the L word was gonna have a marathon that night for this season's episodes. so i stopped reading the magazines and started watching a little bit.. BUT, after about like 5 mins.. my mom said to me "oh, i'll let you watch.." and she started going towards her bedroom. when i asked her what she was doing.. she was like shes gonna finish watching her show in her room. i thought it was funny and weird (like there wasnt even any lesbian scenes or anything.. thanks to CBS now!) because i had no idea what happened at that moment. i mean, did she know about me and knew that this was the L word and left me be to watch it? or did she just suddenly see that i was interested in a show and didnt want to interrupt me so she decided to go to her room and watch her show? i dont know. am i just paranoid? you know, i sorta secretly hoped that she DID know that it was the L word and that i love that show... so I'd never have to go through the trouble and drama of "coming out". lol. but oh well... we'll never know...
so school has been ridiculously stressful as usual but through these times, i've been thinking a lot about random things goin on in my life and i've been realizing a lot of things about myself. i've realized that i dont trust people. i just have general trust issues and that was partly what destroyed my first serious relationship.. so i need to work on that.. and be less in my head all the time. i really want to find things in life that'll get me to loosen up more and be more trusting and relaxed with everything. i dont know how to do that. i'm too much of a type A personality and too power hungry. i hope that someday when the right person or right moment comes along, i'll know when enough is enough and can give up all the superficial things in my life for something truly genuine.
i started watching season 2 of SOUTH OF NOWHERE this weekend and i'm completely obsessed! season 1 was alright, like it wasnt that great to me but now, Spencer and Ashley are actually together and so far, I really like them as a couple. they're so innocent and genuine, something i desperately miss! and with the L word crashing right now, i'm so glad there's SoN. and i feel like i connect with this show a lot more than i do the L word. in the beginning, i sorta relate to Dana with the whole closeted and coming out thing and breaking up with Lara because she's not strong enough, but after everyone came out, the show took on some good and bad changes. it's still entertaining as hell, because its all we've got.. but i just feel a bigger connection to the plot with SoN. i wish i had a show like this when i was growing up and going through my first love and coming out and whatever.. it would have made things so much easier and i wouldnt have been so socially retarded when it came to coming out with my gf. geez! i'm not even half way through the season yet but we'll see how things work out between Spencer and Ashley. I am desperately trying to find all the episodes of the season so far. I dont know what it is but I am totally crushing on all the kisses and moments between Spencer and Ashley... and I dont even do that with L word couples (except Shane & Carmen!).. I think I need the innocent build up to get me going.. sorta like they did in Loving Annabelle... there needs to be a slow build up of love.. (kinda like Shane and Carmen.. tahts why they're my one awesome couple) so taht when they finally get together, it means so much more.. so thats why i am totally in love with Spashley... and the theme song, OMG.. so much better than Betty! and it makes my heart melt a lil each time i hear it with pictures of Ashley and Spencer.. sighhhh...
something funny happened this weekend. i went home for dinner last night for new years eve after i had been doing work all day so i was exhausted. but while she was watching her new years special performance thing or whatever, i was just reading US weekly.. catching up on like celebrity gossip or rather, just letting my mind relax and take in all the eye candy. so my mom was flipping through the channels and somehow landed on showtime and it caught my attention that it was THE L WORD! haha.. i tried not to react too surprised or too giddy about it. i also remembered that the L word was gonna have a marathon that night for this season's episodes. so i stopped reading the magazines and started watching a little bit.. BUT, after about like 5 mins.. my mom said to me "oh, i'll let you watch.." and she started going towards her bedroom. when i asked her what she was doing.. she was like shes gonna finish watching her show in her room. i thought it was funny and weird (like there wasnt even any lesbian scenes or anything.. thanks to CBS now!) because i had no idea what happened at that moment. i mean, did she know about me and knew that this was the L word and left me be to watch it? or did she just suddenly see that i was interested in a show and didnt want to interrupt me so she decided to go to her room and watch her show? i dont know. am i just paranoid? you know, i sorta secretly hoped that she DID know that it was the L word and that i love that show... so I'd never have to go through the trouble and drama of "coming out". lol. but oh well... we'll never know...
so school has been ridiculously stressful as usual but through these times, i've been thinking a lot about random things goin on in my life and i've been realizing a lot of things about myself. i've realized that i dont trust people. i just have general trust issues and that was partly what destroyed my first serious relationship.. so i need to work on that.. and be less in my head all the time. i really want to find things in life that'll get me to loosen up more and be more trusting and relaxed with everything. i dont know how to do that. i'm too much of a type A personality and too power hungry. i hope that someday when the right person or right moment comes along, i'll know when enough is enough and can give up all the superficial things in my life for something truly genuine.
i started watching season 2 of SOUTH OF NOWHERE this weekend and i'm completely obsessed! season 1 was alright, like it wasnt that great to me but now, Spencer and Ashley are actually together and so far, I really like them as a couple. they're so innocent and genuine, something i desperately miss! and with the L word crashing right now, i'm so glad there's SoN. and i feel like i connect with this show a lot more than i do the L word. in the beginning, i sorta relate to Dana with the whole closeted and coming out thing and breaking up with Lara because she's not strong enough, but after everyone came out, the show took on some good and bad changes. it's still entertaining as hell, because its all we've got.. but i just feel a bigger connection to the plot with SoN. i wish i had a show like this when i was growing up and going through my first love and coming out and whatever.. it would have made things so much easier and i wouldnt have been so socially retarded when it came to coming out with my gf. geez! i'm not even half way through the season yet but we'll see how things work out between Spencer and Ashley. I am desperately trying to find all the episodes of the season so far. I dont know what it is but I am totally crushing on all the kisses and moments between Spencer and Ashley... and I dont even do that with L word couples (except Shane & Carmen!).. I think I need the innocent build up to get me going.. sorta like they did in Loving Annabelle... there needs to be a slow build up of love.. (kinda like Shane and Carmen.. tahts why they're my one awesome couple) so taht when they finally get together, it means so much more.. so thats why i am totally in love with Spashley... and the theme song, OMG.. so much better than Betty! and it makes my heart melt a lil each time i hear it with pictures of Ashley and Spencer.. sighhhh...