Being who I am.
Disclaimer: I didn't make this icon. lidi was taking requests to make icons of people's usernames.
As I've already wrote several times, I am interested in what you would call metaphysical or spiritual, things beyond our usual physical reality. There are plenty of materials on this issue, many of which contradict each other, the ones that I resonate with the most are of Crimson Circle. Each months the group hold a meeting, in which there is a channeling, and the materials are uploaded on the Net for free. (You just need to sign up to read them.) Sometimes there is a "homework" given, for example, feel everything around you but don't get involved, or spend time with yourself only or create something tangible and let yourself be absolutely free in your creation flow.... Last month's homework was to tell four people who we are. Quoting the channel: "In the next 30 days tell at least four people who you are. Tell them that you are a New Consciousness Teacher. Tell them that you are a high consciousness being who’s here on Earth right now to help open up and expand the potentials for others who are willing to evolve. Tell them that - four people. Don’t mumble it. (laughter) Don’t couch it in goofy discussion. Do it when you are very clear and very conscious about what you are saying, because, it’s time to stop hiding. It’s time to stop pretending."
Now, when I saw this homework, I didn't want to do it. First of all: because I sorta kinda was doing it already at my own pace. I was not telling people that I am a new consciousness teacher, but I did express aspects of myself that I used to supress and/or which I considered to be "unacceptable". Telling others that I can do astrology and that I'm interested in metaphysics is one example. Or telling this woman, who was interested in discovering a method of beating death and aging, that I accept her and that I myself am fascinated with "science fictional" ideas. Or earning money in linguistics, after switching my occupation. Second: to tell the above would be to limit myself. Because I am so much more. I, and everyone of us.
As to teaching: I already happily share what I know. As everyone of us does, by being who they are. Being who we are cannot be defined in simple words, because definitions, and also existing concepts are limiting. Not only they do not fully catch that essence of some state, it seems that in order to be one thing, you have to NOT be another thing. For example, if you are to be a "spiritual" person, you are supposed not to care about money or other form of physical posessions. If you are rich, you are supposed to be an egoistic asshole. If you are beautiful, you are supposed to make beauty your only asset. If you are an intellectual, you are supposed to consider beautiful people empty.
Proceeding a little about concepts of spirituality: what always amazed and amused me is the following common contradiction: on one hand we are one, all of us are valid, precious, loved and have free choice. On the other hand: there is this thing called "darkness", which is "bad". Sssssoooooo.....???
Recently I had a channeling session. One of the questions that I asked was about two obsessions that I have over certain people. The answer that I've got was: "you have this experience because you wanted to know how does an extreme attraction to another person feels like. How does it affect your body, your mind. The problem comes when you start judging yourself that what you are experiencing is wrong, that you shouldn't be feeling like this." In other words, the problems start when you are supressing some part of yourself, and/or/because you are considering it "unappropriate".
Indeed there were plenty of painful situations in my life, but most of the actual pain was usually created when I knew/heard/learned/believed that a specifical feature of me or a specifical experience that I had make me "invalid". (Hm, so here we have an example how we create our own experiences, hehe.) I suspect that I have this fascination with "dark" characters in fiction, because they are the "outlet" through which I am able to come into contact with the feelings I repress (and that are found unappropriate for outward expression in a society. (Besides FMA Envy I also love manga!Wrath, hehe.)
So I am ready to move to a stage in my life where instead of limiting myself by belonging to a specific "concept" I just express everything that I am. Where I don't have to "reject" parts of myself to fit an ever changing idea of perfection. (I tried that an it was painful.) I am someone who remembers that they are more than a physical body but enjoys all the pleasures of the Earthly life. Sushi, mmmm. Chocolate, yumm. Oh, coffee... I am someone who is incarnated in a female body but recognizes her male energies as well. I am someone who loves the metaphysical and the science fictional but is a full time scientist who relies on facts in her work. I read both poetry and slash. I listen to both electronic dance and operas. And much much more. And I am just like everybody else, no better and no worse.
And in addition to all the above, I resolve to stop chasing what I believe I should have had and I don't or didn't. Together with embracing what I have and what I had. Because not only does it waste my time to chase something that I believe that I should have had, while in reality I might not even needed to have it (or to experience), but it also diminishes of who I am and what I've been through and ... who I am now. I resolve to truly be at my center, with myself.
As I've already wrote several times, I am interested in what you would call metaphysical or spiritual, things beyond our usual physical reality. There are plenty of materials on this issue, many of which contradict each other, the ones that I resonate with the most are of Crimson Circle. Each months the group hold a meeting, in which there is a channeling, and the materials are uploaded on the Net for free. (You just need to sign up to read them.) Sometimes there is a "homework" given, for example, feel everything around you but don't get involved, or spend time with yourself only or create something tangible and let yourself be absolutely free in your creation flow.... Last month's homework was to tell four people who we are. Quoting the channel: "In the next 30 days tell at least four people who you are. Tell them that you are a New Consciousness Teacher. Tell them that you are a high consciousness being who’s here on Earth right now to help open up and expand the potentials for others who are willing to evolve. Tell them that - four people. Don’t mumble it. (laughter) Don’t couch it in goofy discussion. Do it when you are very clear and very conscious about what you are saying, because, it’s time to stop hiding. It’s time to stop pretending."
Now, when I saw this homework, I didn't want to do it. First of all: because I sorta kinda was doing it already at my own pace. I was not telling people that I am a new consciousness teacher, but I did express aspects of myself that I used to supress and/or which I considered to be "unacceptable". Telling others that I can do astrology and that I'm interested in metaphysics is one example. Or telling this woman, who was interested in discovering a method of beating death and aging, that I accept her and that I myself am fascinated with "science fictional" ideas. Or earning money in linguistics, after switching my occupation. Second: to tell the above would be to limit myself. Because I am so much more. I, and everyone of us.
As to teaching: I already happily share what I know. As everyone of us does, by being who they are. Being who we are cannot be defined in simple words, because definitions, and also existing concepts are limiting. Not only they do not fully catch that essence of some state, it seems that in order to be one thing, you have to NOT be another thing. For example, if you are to be a "spiritual" person, you are supposed not to care about money or other form of physical posessions. If you are rich, you are supposed to be an egoistic asshole. If you are beautiful, you are supposed to make beauty your only asset. If you are an intellectual, you are supposed to consider beautiful people empty.
Proceeding a little about concepts of spirituality: what always amazed and amused me is the following common contradiction: on one hand we are one, all of us are valid, precious, loved and have free choice. On the other hand: there is this thing called "darkness", which is "bad". Sssssoooooo.....???
Recently I had a channeling session. One of the questions that I asked was about two obsessions that I have over certain people. The answer that I've got was: "you have this experience because you wanted to know how does an extreme attraction to another person feels like. How does it affect your body, your mind. The problem comes when you start judging yourself that what you are experiencing is wrong, that you shouldn't be feeling like this." In other words, the problems start when you are supressing some part of yourself, and/or/because you are considering it "unappropriate".
Indeed there were plenty of painful situations in my life, but most of the actual pain was usually created when I knew/heard/learned/believed that a specifical feature of me or a specifical experience that I had make me "invalid". (Hm, so here we have an example how we create our own experiences, hehe.) I suspect that I have this fascination with "dark" characters in fiction, because they are the "outlet" through which I am able to come into contact with the feelings I repress (and that are found unappropriate for outward expression in a society. (Besides FMA Envy I also love manga!Wrath, hehe.)
So I am ready to move to a stage in my life where instead of limiting myself by belonging to a specific "concept" I just express everything that I am. Where I don't have to "reject" parts of myself to fit an ever changing idea of perfection. (I tried that an it was painful.) I am someone who remembers that they are more than a physical body but enjoys all the pleasures of the Earthly life. Sushi, mmmm. Chocolate, yumm. Oh, coffee... I am someone who is incarnated in a female body but recognizes her male energies as well. I am someone who loves the metaphysical and the science fictional but is a full time scientist who relies on facts in her work. I read both poetry and slash. I listen to both electronic dance and operas. And much much more. And I am just like everybody else, no better and no worse.
And in addition to all the above, I resolve to stop chasing what I believe I should have had and I don't or didn't. Together with embracing what I have and what I had. Because not only does it waste my time to chase something that I believe that I should have had, while in reality I might not even needed to have it (or to experience), but it also diminishes of who I am and what I've been through and ... who I am now. I resolve to truly be at my center, with myself.