sad
"what can i do to make you mine?
i've fallen so hard, so fast this time.
what did i say? what did you do?
how did i fall inlove with you?"
[^bsb lyrics]
ive come to realize that the REALLY OLD backstreet boys songs are really emo. heh. but im inlove with them. i think im going through another backstreet boy faze cause ive been listening to them non stop. its realyl weird. but all of their songs have so much meaning to them.. i remember when i was like really young and i would just sing the words and never listen to what they really meant.. and now that im older and everything, im listening to the lyrics and its pretty crazy how they fit life so perfectly..
but anyways.
ive been thinking alot, even though thinking isnt the best thing i do. ive just had so much on my mind. and though it might now seem like it there are so many things in my head that i dont even know why they are there. ive just been thinking about someone and i have no idea why feelings are still there. i guess its because ever since the exact moment i layed eyes on him on myspace i completely fell inlove with him. and now even though it was like two years ago, hes still in my head and i still have thoughts about him.. and i just really have no idea how to make the thoughts go away. i dont want them anymore. i really dont. i know i fucked up majorly with him. more than once. and its really all my fault. but its like. some things i just cant explain. i dont wanna tell him how i feel, i cant! and no one understands it. everyone thinks im lying but im not. its really how i feel and i just cant tell him. hes the only person who cared for me, stuck up for me. anything. and i care about him so much. even though i can never tell him. love ends. and i dont want mine to end with him. thats why ive never told him how i felt. and i know its cause problems but its the truth. hes the only one i wanna keep forever. and you know when you wanna keep soemone no matter what, you just know. hes not exactly the type of person i can tell this too. he just wouldnt understand :(
this is the only way i can get it out. i have alot of trouble saying things that i mean. especially when theyre deep like this.. i just feel like a fool when i say corny love stuff. so i dont say it at all. so i write everything down. and then people read it and they get it better. i dont know. im just really confused about everything.
like i said there are so many thoughts in my head i cant even gather them all at once. i dont even know what im thinkging right now because there are so many thoughts.
actually thats a lie :) im thinking about eating my sour patch watermelons :) they are right next to me and so tempting haha. my favorite candy in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD<3 im inlove with them. lol always and forever. <3
other than all my stupid thoughts in my stupid head, my day was ok. jimmy got new tattoos. the one on his arm looks much better now that its filled in and everything. the ones on his back will look better once i see them all nice and whatnot. i hate that a&d ointment that goes on it.. it smells bad and it feels gross when you touch it lol.
hspas are almost over thank god. tomorrow is the last day. and it doesnt even count!! its science.. it shouldnt even be there. its just a waste of a day to me.. since it doesnt count anyways..
MICHELLE FINALLY CAME TO SCHOOL TODAY!! :)
it made me very happy. lol i love you girl! volley ball is awesome haha
mmm what else happened today.. oh yeah, nothing. haha
me and megan were on the phone for 3 hours. its not my record but it was funny as hell haha
ok so basically my day was boring as you can see. and if you cared enough to read all of this bull youd care enough to leave me a comment on any advice you have :( cause im flipping out over here. i have no clue where i am or what to do. i really just wanna die right now. but im scared about not coming back. thats the only thing that keeps me from doing it.
i've fallen so hard, so fast this time.
what did i say? what did you do?
how did i fall inlove with you?"
[^bsb lyrics]
ive come to realize that the REALLY OLD backstreet boys songs are really emo. heh. but im inlove with them. i think im going through another backstreet boy faze cause ive been listening to them non stop. its realyl weird. but all of their songs have so much meaning to them.. i remember when i was like really young and i would just sing the words and never listen to what they really meant.. and now that im older and everything, im listening to the lyrics and its pretty crazy how they fit life so perfectly..
but anyways.
ive been thinking alot, even though thinking isnt the best thing i do. ive just had so much on my mind. and though it might now seem like it there are so many things in my head that i dont even know why they are there. ive just been thinking about someone and i have no idea why feelings are still there. i guess its because ever since the exact moment i layed eyes on him on myspace i completely fell inlove with him. and now even though it was like two years ago, hes still in my head and i still have thoughts about him.. and i just really have no idea how to make the thoughts go away. i dont want them anymore. i really dont. i know i fucked up majorly with him. more than once. and its really all my fault. but its like. some things i just cant explain. i dont wanna tell him how i feel, i cant! and no one understands it. everyone thinks im lying but im not. its really how i feel and i just cant tell him. hes the only person who cared for me, stuck up for me. anything. and i care about him so much. even though i can never tell him. love ends. and i dont want mine to end with him. thats why ive never told him how i felt. and i know its cause problems but its the truth. hes the only one i wanna keep forever. and you know when you wanna keep soemone no matter what, you just know. hes not exactly the type of person i can tell this too. he just wouldnt understand :(
this is the only way i can get it out. i have alot of trouble saying things that i mean. especially when theyre deep like this.. i just feel like a fool when i say corny love stuff. so i dont say it at all. so i write everything down. and then people read it and they get it better. i dont know. im just really confused about everything.
like i said there are so many thoughts in my head i cant even gather them all at once. i dont even know what im thinkging right now because there are so many thoughts.
actually thats a lie :) im thinking about eating my sour patch watermelons :) they are right next to me and so tempting haha. my favorite candy in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD<3 im inlove with them. lol always and forever. <3
other than all my stupid thoughts in my stupid head, my day was ok. jimmy got new tattoos. the one on his arm looks much better now that its filled in and everything. the ones on his back will look better once i see them all nice and whatnot. i hate that a&d ointment that goes on it.. it smells bad and it feels gross when you touch it lol.
hspas are almost over thank god. tomorrow is the last day. and it doesnt even count!! its science.. it shouldnt even be there. its just a waste of a day to me.. since it doesnt count anyways..
MICHELLE FINALLY CAME TO SCHOOL TODAY!! :)
it made me very happy. lol i love you girl! volley ball is awesome haha
mmm what else happened today.. oh yeah, nothing. haha
me and megan were on the phone for 3 hours. its not my record but it was funny as hell haha
ok so basically my day was boring as you can see. and if you cared enough to read all of this bull youd care enough to leave me a comment on any advice you have :( cause im flipping out over here. i have no clue where i am or what to do. i really just wanna die right now. but im scared about not coming back. thats the only thing that keeps me from doing it.