And You Wonder Why

[all_star_sara]

Nights like last night are the reason I dont let people in, the reason I dont open up and trust people. Because they lie and fuck you over even after you've done nothing to them except be a good friend and listen to all their problems. The only thing in my life that made my day go by a little more happier and made me smile is now fucked up. I don't understand why guys are so pathetic. If you tell a guy you just want to be friends because you're interested in someone else he should take it as is and not try to slide in and cause drama when both you and the person you like are under the influence. Im glad I was sober-ish enough to see all the scheming going down. Like what the fuck! I guess it was my fault suggesting we should all hang out i was just trying to be nice considering everyone just wanted to hang out why not just all hang together, the more the merrier they say, well thats bull shit, the more there is the more drama there is.

I didnt just spend like the last month and a half or longer crushing on this fella trying to lose my shyness so I could actually ccommunicate with him without him thinking Im an absolute idiot, well it didnt work Im shy and I always will be, but still no matter how shy I am and "how much of a mystery i am" its still obvious to see that a person likes you, he shouldve known the second we first kissed, or from the like every day txt convos we had. Well that convo was just too much for me last night I'm through with giving my all and just getting my feelings hurt, my feelings arent splattered all over Portage Ave...they're all over every inch of the Nook.