Alcoholism
I really want to quit drinking, but I'm afraid I don't know how. Part of the issue is that people tend to assume that all you have to do is stop. The problem is, it's not that easy. Alcohol is addictive. If you have an allergy to seafood, you just don't eat seafood, and it's as simple as that. The problem is that when it comes to alcohol, your brain WANTS you to eat that seafood. When you consider that drinking is also part of a social norm...it just isn't that easy.
I quit drinking for 2 and a half years. Then, about 7 months ago, I went back. Why? Because I ENJOY drinking. The problem is that I can feel myself slipping into bad habits again: drinking alone, sneaking drinks, lying about it, etc. I know that I shouldn't want to do these sorts of things, but at the same time, I have a hard time helping it. Part of it is that I have a hard time looking past alcoholism as a personal moral failing, because it's really not. Alcoholism, like drug addiction, is a brain disorder and while I am responsible for what I do (I take full blame for my actions while drunk), alcohol consumption is so pervasive in our society that I have a hard time avoiding it.
I've thought about going back to AA meetings, as those seemed to help a little bit, but at the same time, I'm really not comfortable with the overt religious trappings of the whole thing. What I really need is another wake-up call like I had in December of 2010, but I really don't wan that experience to hit me in the back of a police car.
Ah, well. To those that I have hurt with my drinking, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I really shouldn't drink, and I'm trying not to, but it's so very hard. I'm much better than I was 3 years ago, where I was getting drunk 4-5 nights per week, but I never want to go back to that and I still end up drinking more than I should. Mostly, I think, because I'm bored. I HAVE made progress in that unlike in the past where I would just drink myself into a stupor, I have pulled back and reduced my consuption while in the midst of drinking. Unlike in the past, I am now capable of drinking in moderation, but the tricky part for me is learning to maintain that, instead of crossing the line into inebriation. Ah well. One day at a time is what they say.
I quit drinking for 2 and a half years. Then, about 7 months ago, I went back. Why? Because I ENJOY drinking. The problem is that I can feel myself slipping into bad habits again: drinking alone, sneaking drinks, lying about it, etc. I know that I shouldn't want to do these sorts of things, but at the same time, I have a hard time helping it. Part of it is that I have a hard time looking past alcoholism as a personal moral failing, because it's really not. Alcoholism, like drug addiction, is a brain disorder and while I am responsible for what I do (I take full blame for my actions while drunk), alcohol consumption is so pervasive in our society that I have a hard time avoiding it.
I've thought about going back to AA meetings, as those seemed to help a little bit, but at the same time, I'm really not comfortable with the overt religious trappings of the whole thing. What I really need is another wake-up call like I had in December of 2010, but I really don't wan that experience to hit me in the back of a police car.
Ah, well. To those that I have hurt with my drinking, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I really shouldn't drink, and I'm trying not to, but it's so very hard. I'm much better than I was 3 years ago, where I was getting drunk 4-5 nights per week, but I never want to go back to that and I still end up drinking more than I should. Mostly, I think, because I'm bored. I HAVE made progress in that unlike in the past where I would just drink myself into a stupor, I have pulled back and reduced my consuption while in the midst of drinking. Unlike in the past, I am now capable of drinking in moderation, but the tricky part for me is learning to maintain that, instead of crossing the line into inebriation. Ah well. One day at a time is what they say.