life
It's been a while and I'm feeling nostalgic.
It's a sticky, warm day. I have two very annoying bug bites on my neck. I am wondering if they are spider bites. Like a spider crawled on my neck in the middle of the night and took a tasty bite.
I have been reading old journals and reading old internet things. Looking back on my life and who I was. I figured out who I was between like 16-18. I don't feel like the core of who I am has changed that much. I wish I could of done a few things differently but don't we all looking back. I guess I am trying to focus on myself a little more and not hate myself so much. It really is a problem and I don't know why I do it so much. It's a waste of time and energy really. I feel there are things that I want to say, want to write. I want to put it all together so it makes sense. Why am I this way? So self loathing, so lazy, just unmotivated and not taking advantage of living life.
I have never wanted to "grow up". The thought of having children of my own is terrifying because then I would have to grow up. I just haven't figured it out yet. I also need a full time job of some sort.
I really am in some limbo here.
It's a sticky, warm day. I have two very annoying bug bites on my neck. I am wondering if they are spider bites. Like a spider crawled on my neck in the middle of the night and took a tasty bite.
I have been reading old journals and reading old internet things. Looking back on my life and who I was. I figured out who I was between like 16-18. I don't feel like the core of who I am has changed that much. I wish I could of done a few things differently but don't we all looking back. I guess I am trying to focus on myself a little more and not hate myself so much. It really is a problem and I don't know why I do it so much. It's a waste of time and energy really. I feel there are things that I want to say, want to write. I want to put it all together so it makes sense. Why am I this way? So self loathing, so lazy, just unmotivated and not taking advantage of living life.
I have never wanted to "grow up". The thought of having children of my own is terrifying because then I would have to grow up. I just haven't figured it out yet. I also need a full time job of some sort.
I really am in some limbo here.