Two entries
”FAITH, NO!”
If I could change any moment, in my life, well… I’d change when I drove a stake into the deputy mayor’s heart.
I said I wouldn’t care, but I was lying out of my teeth. I still see the guy, and hear B’s voice telling me to stop. Maybe it was too late, but maybe I could have stopped. I don’t even know.
I told myself I wouldn’t care. That it didn’t matter. That it was just part of the job. But it didn’t work, and I just ended up screwing up my life more than it was screwed up already.
There’s no way to change things though, and if I did, where would I be now? Probably would have still managed to screw things up somehow, with B, with the world. Whatever. Maybe it’s one of those things where you grew from the experience, or all that psychologist crap people try to pull.
”I’m not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow.”
I ran to LA. I couldn’t deal with the Sunnydale crew, the council, anybody. So I ran, and who do I find, Angel. Just one of those people who I was trying to avoid. Of course, I sorta brought it upon myself, letting myself to be hired out to kill him and all, but still. I wanted revenge for who the hell knows what, and I got something completely different. I got all the hugging and crying and learning and growing and all that other stuff I was so convinced I didn’t want.
The most important decision I ever made was to turn myself into the police. I had my big, “I’m evil,” revelation, had a big cry and tried to get Angel to kill me, tortured Wes (that’s all in reverse order). Figured out I just needed to stop.
‘Course, at the time it looked like it would be pretty much the rest of my young life. But here I am, out, after averting a coupla apocalypses and helping a couple friends.
Wow, that was something. I need to get a drink. Or two. Or more.
If I could change any moment, in my life, well… I’d change when I drove a stake into the deputy mayor’s heart.
I said I wouldn’t care, but I was lying out of my teeth. I still see the guy, and hear B’s voice telling me to stop. Maybe it was too late, but maybe I could have stopped. I don’t even know.
I told myself I wouldn’t care. That it didn’t matter. That it was just part of the job. But it didn’t work, and I just ended up screwing up my life more than it was screwed up already.
There’s no way to change things though, and if I did, where would I be now? Probably would have still managed to screw things up somehow, with B, with the world. Whatever. Maybe it’s one of those things where you grew from the experience, or all that psychologist crap people try to pull.
”I’m not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow.”
I ran to LA. I couldn’t deal with the Sunnydale crew, the council, anybody. So I ran, and who do I find, Angel. Just one of those people who I was trying to avoid. Of course, I sorta brought it upon myself, letting myself to be hired out to kill him and all, but still. I wanted revenge for who the hell knows what, and I got something completely different. I got all the hugging and crying and learning and growing and all that other stuff I was so convinced I didn’t want.
The most important decision I ever made was to turn myself into the police. I had my big, “I’m evil,” revelation, had a big cry and tried to get Angel to kill me, tortured Wes (that’s all in reverse order). Figured out I just needed to stop.
‘Course, at the time it looked like it would be pretty much the rest of my young life. But here I am, out, after averting a coupla apocalypses and helping a couple friends.
Wow, that was something. I need to get a drink. Or two. Or more.