Fic: Safe From The Outside (1/2)
Title: Safe From The Outside
Rating: NC-17.
Fandoms: Merlin.
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 3519.
Warnings: Sex, barebacking, wingkink, angels.
Summary: After lying for so long, it was a relief for Arthur to finally know what he was...although accidentally showing him his wings probably wasn't the best way of going about it.
Note: The angels are, in powers, the same as those in Supernatural. I wrote this at the urging of a friend because I was stuck while writing a Supernatural AU of Merlin. Sorry if I used (too many) American terms, but, hey, wingfic. (Like a magic reveal. With wings.) The title is from "Your Protector" by Fleet Foxes, the full lyric is: "Keep your secrets with you, safe from the outside."
[ ao3 | tumblr ]
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As someone who spent a lot of time pretending he wasn’t what he was, revealing it--although quite accidentally--to Arthur was a bit of a relief.
Even if it had meant the man punched him in the face.
“So, you’re an…angel?” Arthur said the word cautiously, and, in Merlin’s opinion, a bit distastefully.
Merlin was tempted to roll his eyes. The number of times he had done things no human could do, and yet Arthur had somehow remained blissfully unaware, were staggering. “Yes.”
Arthur reached out as if unsure he was real, before quickly withdrawing his hand, “Does that mean you’re dead?” His eyes traveled across Merlin’s body curiously, like he was seeing him for the first time.
The angel’s eyes widened in surprise, “No!” He took in a breath, “No, no, no, I--” He hesitated, wondering if he should show off his wings, the very things that had given him away in the lightning storm currently going on outside. (To be honest, though, Merlin had quite wanted to get out of the storm, and when his wings were revealed in the shadows, he had taken the opportunity to teleport them back inside Arthur’s house. It had been rather awkward since he’d spent so much of his time trying to hide his abilities to suddenly, blatantly, use them, but his clothes were soaked and he kept feeling the temptation to fan out his feathers to shake the water off of them.)
Arthur was beginning to get annoyed as Merlin’s pause was drawn out from ten seconds, to fifteen, to-- “So, how are you, of all people, an angel?” He ran a hand through his damp hair and glanced out the window, he could see the tree off in the distance that they had been standing under only moments ago.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a prat, you would’ve noticed.” Arthur’s face was unreadable, causing Merlin to grimace as the words left his mouth, wondering if maybe now that friendly insult was crossing a line. After all, he had betrayed this man’s, his best friend’s, trust.
“Merlin--” Even his name sounded wrong now, foreign on Arthur’s tongue.
Merlin took a step forward and saw the other man flinch, wet hair covering Arthur’s eyes--making Merlin want to move closer all the more, to brush it out of his face, to see his expression, to know what he was thinking now. He used to be able to read Arthur so easily. “I’m sorry, I-- I just wanted to protect you--”
“Is that why you’re here then?” Arthur’s eyes seemed unable to look at him now and he almost wished the man would just go back even to the roaming disbelief he’d had before. “You…were sent here to, what, guard me?”
“Arthur…” It was somewhat true though, he couldn’t really deny it, but…he hadn’t known--not at first.
“I should never have--” He smoothed his hands over his eyes and Merlin wondered if it was rainwater or tears. He couldn’t remember having seen Arthur cry before.
“Please.” Merlin reached out to him again. Arthur never liked Merlin to touch him more than was absolutely necessary, but Merlin knew he had to stop Arthur from leaving. “Arthur, I just--” He could feel tears sliding down his face. He grabbed Arthur’s fingers, slotting his own in between, “You’re the closest thing to family that I have anymore. P-please, please believe me, Arthur. You’re my best friend.”
“My friends don’t lie to me.” He slipped his hand from Merlin’s. “I’m going to go take a shower. Goodbye, Merlin.” Simple as that, Arthur left.
Merlin wasn’t sure what to do. Something inside his head was telling that he should run away, as far as he could go--with, which his powers, could have easily, been the opposite side of the globe--but a much stronger part of him told him to stay. After all, he wholeheartedly believed in Arthur, and, despite his flaws and the way he sometimes treated Merlin rather horribly, Merlin never gave up on him--never would give up on him. Merlin lo-- cared about him.
He knew Arthur might consider it a breach of privacy now, but it used to be normal for Merlin to be there in his room. Although they were hidden, Merlin felt his wings twitch, and, as long as Arthur wasn’t around, he had no qualms with stretching them out, allowing them to be visible. He curled one around himself and picked out a stray feather.
They were large, black, shiny things and all he could feel for them right now was disdain.
Sometimes he thought about cutting them off, ripping them out, whatever it would take to make him normal, but he had been born with them, along with the powers entailed in this whole angel business. It had taken him years to learn how to hide them, which was much of the reason he’d been sent away from his home. He didn’t know what had become of his parents, but having an angel child in a literal sense of the word didn’t seem to help their social status.
He wasn’t sure why they had to call themselves “angels,” anyway, as he found the word too rich with religious meanings he had no place in.
Merlin stared at the long, obsidian feather he had pulled, twirling it between his fingers.
Then, the water shut off, and his entire body tensed as Arthur entered the room, only a towel wrapped around him. That wasn’t important though, because he could see the redness of Arthur’s eyes, the way he was still wiping at them. Arthur shut them tight to try to stop the tears.
Merlin took the opportunity to speak, “Arthur.”
“Leave, Mer--” He opened his eyes and took in the sight of wings that seemed to fill his bedroom.
Merlin, however, was a bit oblivious, “What are you--” He glanced back and froze again, before attempting to pull them in, “Sorry, I’m so sorry, I--”
Arthur took a tentative step forward and his hand reached out, brushing against the soft feathers, causing a little shudder to pass through Merlin. The few people who had seen his wings since childhood were much to afraid to touch them. “They’re…beautiful.”
The awe in Arthur’s voice was very unfamiliar to Merlin. It was enough to stop his babbling apology. He did, however, take the opportunity to explain himself, stuttering as Arthur’s fingers skimmed the bones and feathers, “I--I came here--ah! Arthur!” He didn’t think knees literally went weak, but his certainly did. “B-because they knew what I--I, ah, was. I c-came here to be safe and to k-keep--god, Arthur, what are you doing?”
Arthur didn’t answer. He was behind Merlin now, continuing his examination. Merlin swallowed hard and tried to keep talking now that he had the chance. “You were--well, I thought you were a prat.” He flexed his wings unconsciously as Arthur traced the bones back to his shoulder blades. “When I ended up s-saving you, that--that was just me, but then, ah, they told me it was my dest--” He attempted to even out his breathing, ignoring the fact that his cock was now straining hard against his trousers, it wasn’t as if Arthur hadn’t caused that before.
“So,” Arthur spoke at last, a hand lightly gripping the top of each wing, “Protecting me is your destiny?”
Merlin breathed out shakily as Arthur’s hands squeezed ever so slightly. “Yes, but it’s more than that, I-- I wouldn’t have stayed, you--you clotpole,” it was hard to insult him when Merlin was light-headed; he was having difficulties just getting enough air into his lungs, “but, you, ah, were so fucking noble,” he grit the words out as the grip on his wings tightened and he could’ve sworn he was close to passing out from the overwhelming desire sweeping through his entire body. He spoke quickly now, trying to get it out, “I found that I really love--care about you, Arthur, and I don’t want to be anywhere but by your side.”
Arthur dropped his hands, allowing Merlin the opportunity to successfully breathe again and causing his wings to twitch with the sudden lack of touch. The blonde circled around in front of him. He may or may not have glanced down at the rather obvious bulge, but Merlin was hoping he hadn’t noticed. “Is that the truth?”
“Yes, Arthur, and…” A breath hitched in his throat, “I hated lying to you, and-- I never did, not about anything but this.”
The blonde man nodded and touched the end feathers of a wing. Merlin couldn’t stop the shudder that went through him. “Do you like this, when I touch them?” He pulled his hand away and placed it on Merlin’s hip.
For a moment, the angel wondered if he was dreaming, if perhaps, he had actually passed out and was now just fantasizing. He wasn’t sure which would be more embarrassing. “Yes,” he replied simply.
Arthur stepped closer, their bodies so close to touching that Merlin had to use all of his will power to not eradicate that lingering distance and press himself to his friend. “And how, exactly, do you get your shirt off?”
“I have to pull them in and--”
“Can you do it quickly?” Arthur moved in closer and Merlin could feel the length of his cock warm and pressed to his hip. The knowledge that Arthur was as hard as he was, well, that was almost enough to push him over the edge then and there. He could feel himself, mirroring Arthur’s position, cock straining against the towel Arthur still had wrapped around him.