FAQ!!
1. What are you?
- I am the Creator of all things. I am the ruling force. I am the ultimate power. I am an exceptionally good biker and I make damn good smores.
2. How old are you?
- Old enough to know better and too young to care.
3. How did you get Mary pregnant?
- There are a couple of theories as to how this happened. One is that Gabriel gifted Mary with my Heavenly light, another is that Gabriel did the dirty deed himself, on my behalf. Neither are true, of course. The real story is much more kinky.
4. How do I get into Heaven?
- Through the gate.
5. Ok... so, why the Platypus?
- I was very, very drunk.
6. So many religious people have condemned the Harry Potter books, saying they are evil and blasphemous. What do you make of them?
- I know who the Half-Blood Prince is. ;)
7. Do you ever really speak to people?
- Often. I tell them to burn things
8. Why France?
- I was very, very drunk.
9. Why do bad things happen to good people?
- Because it's funny.
10. How long does it take to roast the perfect marshmallow?
- 42.68 seconds. Hint: hold it an inch and a half above the flame and keep it constantly rotating to avoid burning.
11. Will you be my date to the Ball?
- Will there be a free bar? If not, then no.
12. How much of the Bible actually happened?
Jesus was born, lived and died. He likes to think he could perform miracles. Feeding of the 5,000? Ha... yeah... ok. As for Adam and Eve... let's just say that what you see in the Bible is a cleaned up version of events. I keep the original copy under my pillow.
13. Why aren't I rich?
- You think I'd still be wearing these sandals if I had the power to produce money from thin air? Play the lottery like everyone else, you greedy bastard.
14. What's beyond space?
- Milk.
What's the meaning of life?
Contrary to popular belief, it is not 42. It is actually Purple. There... got you stumped now, haven't I?
- I am the Creator of all things. I am the ruling force. I am the ultimate power. I am an exceptionally good biker and I make damn good smores.
2. How old are you?
- Old enough to know better and too young to care.
3. How did you get Mary pregnant?
- There are a couple of theories as to how this happened. One is that Gabriel gifted Mary with my Heavenly light, another is that Gabriel did the dirty deed himself, on my behalf. Neither are true, of course. The real story is much more kinky.
4. How do I get into Heaven?
- Through the gate.
5. Ok... so, why the Platypus?
- I was very, very drunk.
6. So many religious people have condemned the Harry Potter books, saying they are evil and blasphemous. What do you make of them?
- I know who the Half-Blood Prince is. ;)
7. Do you ever really speak to people?
- Often. I tell them to burn things
8. Why France?
- I was very, very drunk.
9. Why do bad things happen to good people?
- Because it's funny.
10. How long does it take to roast the perfect marshmallow?
- 42.68 seconds. Hint: hold it an inch and a half above the flame and keep it constantly rotating to avoid burning.
11. Will you be my date to the Ball?
- Will there be a free bar? If not, then no.
12. How much of the Bible actually happened?
Jesus was born, lived and died. He likes to think he could perform miracles. Feeding of the 5,000? Ha... yeah... ok. As for Adam and Eve... let's just say that what you see in the Bible is a cleaned up version of events. I keep the original copy under my pillow.
13. Why aren't I rich?
- You think I'd still be wearing these sandals if I had the power to produce money from thin air? Play the lottery like everyone else, you greedy bastard.
14. What's beyond space?
- Milk.
What's the meaning of life?
Contrary to popular belief, it is not 42. It is actually Purple. There... got you stumped now, haven't I?