Lost with motovation
It seems like the sun rises too many days a week for me. Insomnia is back, this time real bad. My mind races all day for school, all night for my own thoughts. Today I need to go to placement to start planning the next year of my life. I'm in to mood for this. Just when things get comfortable for me I have to start planning for the next chaotic adventure. I finally spilled my past out to someone down here. It felt good. I only hope this person knows how much I keep a secret. Every adventure I take a little more risky than the last. I need something to grasp that is familiar to me. Every person I meet here has some sort of thing to feel comfortable or consistent about. They all have a home, or girlfriend/wife, or a job waiting for them, a plan. I’m growing worried, old with none of these things. I just want a place to call home. With every sunrise I get one day closer to d-day. Graduation. I can’t turn around and go back to where I’m from for fear of failure. That place was never my home. I don’t know where to go from here. Plenty of ideas but nothing seems like the correct turn on this path. I try to keep positive. I know ill figure it out sooner or later. I would rather die than fail. My drive will either make or break me.