Teen Titans Fanfiction: "Little Bird"

May 30, 2006 04:09

ANs: Set completely in the Toon Titans'verse, at some point after the series ends.

Title: Little Bird
Author: Coldfiredragon
Rating: R - for adult situation, implied consentual sex, slash
Summary: When Robin finds out that Starfire has been cheating on him he turns to Slade for comfort.
Pairings: Slade/Robin, implied Rob/Star
Disclaimer: Don't own the "Teen Titans Go!" cartoon, don't own the DC characters the show is based off of. The fic was written purely for my pleasure and the pleasure of my readers.



Little birds fly try to prove that they can be free and they don't return unless they feel they must. The boy says he hates me yet more and more often he leaves the safety of his friends to seek a comfort he can only find in my arms. Something was broken inside of him the day he returned home to find her asleep in Beastboy's bed and he ran to me of all people.

I've never truly been on the boy's side, every time I've encountered him it has always been to further my own agenda yet he seems to be a constant cog in my plans and I in his. Sometimes I wonder if he believes that coming to me will help him fix whatever was broken. We both know it won't. Why would I try to help him fix anything? The best I can do for him is push him to the verge of his limits and then push him harder until he steps over the edge.

She never deserved him anyway and the sad part is that she doesn't even know what she has done. She never knew that he saw them together. She doesn't even realize that seeing them together was the reason he broke up with her. She is so naive about how earthly romance is supposed to work that she crushed him without even meaning to and he turned to me for comfort.

I don't try to delude myself. He never came to me seeking release. He came because he wanted to feel and he was naive enough to think that a physical fight would make him do so. He doesn't understand that emotional pain doesn't go away when you try to bury it under a thousand other emotions. He failed to realize that it smolders, and smokes until it obscures everything and leaves one blind to everything but the one thing they can't see.

To be truthful I was surprised that he had been able to find me in the first place. I shouldn't have been. He was trained by the world's greatest detective. He had probably known where I was for ages but was waiting for the right moment to try and catch me off guard.

I will never forget the first time he sought me out. The night he came to me spoiling for a fight. I knew the second he crossed the border of my property and was waiting for him when he entered the house. The library was lovely that night. It had been late evening and the last rays of the sunlight had stained the horizon a thousand shades of brilliant color even as the oncoming night snuffed out each color one by one. A storm was preparing to loose its tears on the unsuspecting city and we came face to face as he slipped in through the door leading to the garden.

I don't think he was surprised to see me waiting for him. Nor was he surprised when the first flash of lightening caught on the unsheathed blade of my sword. If anything surprised him it was my appearance. I wasn't dressed as he always knew me to be. I was without the the mask and elaborate orange and black costume I usually adopted. The only thing that indicated to him that I was me was the eye patch which hides my right eye.

“Slade.” The softness of his voice had surprised me. It had held little of its usual heroic tone, I knew from the instant I laid eyes on him that night that something had changed. I remember the second flash of lightening as it glittered off of his bowstaff. He wasn't the boy who fought me because he saw me as evil, he had been a boy who almost appeared to be on a suicide mission.

“Do you really expect to beat me, here in my own home?” His eyes had narrowed behind his mask and he charged at me.” I had been able to effortlessly sidestep his attack. He had whirled to face me and I remember the barely controlled anger that seemed to role off him in waves.

“I'm going to end this.” I couldn't help but chuckle darkly at his words. He had fought me many times before that evening and I don't think he ever realized until that night that he had been dealing with someone who was far stronger and more capable than himself. Up until that night he had always seen me as just another villain. I was better than most of the incompetents he came up against but I was still a villain to him.

“What will ending our rivalry accomplish? Why did you come here tonight of all nights?” He had hung his head for a split second and I remember wondering what could have happened to bring the boy so low. I respected him for his strength, it was what had attracted me to him in the first place but to see him broken like he was had made me want to hit him.

“I have to move past you to prove that something else can matter to me.” The words had shocked me and I had suddenly understood. His so called friends had challenged his obsession with me and he had been trying to prove that he was capable of laying his past to rest. He was also trying to prove that he was worth being loved. To do that he had to do to win against me and overcome his greatest failure by doing so, he was trying to prove to a young inexperienced red-headed alien that he could be her knight in shining armor.

“So you would fight me here. In a hall of knowledge, even when you know that defeating me will not bring you the peace you seek?” He had lunged towards me a second time and once again I had moved aside with so little effort it was pathetic.

“I can defeat you. I will defeat you.” His words had sounded like a hollow mantra to my ears.

“Fine if you are so set on besting me than let us do so outside, where the rain can wash away our mutual spilled blood.” For a heartbeat I had thought he was going to reject my proposal but something seemed to spark in him. It was the most life I had seen in him since he had arrived that night. When he finally nodded I gestured towards the double doors that led back into the gardens.

We had walked in silence and I had taken the time to study the boy beside me and the roses surrounding us. He had broken the silence.

“Why roses?” In that moment I had felt compelled to answer him.

“Why not roses? They are elegant yet deadly, sadly suiting don't you think?.” Looking back on it now it was probably the wrong thing to say but my words had caused him to pause and actually take in the beauty around him. I remember seeing a hint of sadness in his masked face. “There is a clearing ahead.” He had looked at me with an air of acceptance, like a prisoner who has just received his death sentence from the judge.

We had reached the area just as the skies opened up above us. I had glanced down at him as he moved toward opposite ends of the green only to see the first drops of rain running down his face like tears. He had come to fight me and I would not go easy on him. I remember telling myself that he would fight me and die if he did not have the will to survive or he would find some little spark which would compel him to live to see his friends again.

He has to move past what she did to him or it will eat him alive. The rain had grown harder as we turned and faced one another. His messy black hair was plastered to his face and he had looked much older than I had ever seen him. As one we ran at each other, almost as though we were puppets controlled by some imaginary puppet master.

We had fought and the rain continued to pour down upon us, soaking each of us to the bone. Soon every step we took had sent water cascading upwards into the air. Each punch and kick had been made heavier by the weight of the water soaking our clothes. It hadn't bothered me but I knew that it had to bother the boy to some extent. I don't remember how long we fought each other. At the time it seemed like hours before he finally collapsed to his knees in the water and mud. A thin trail of blood had mingled with the rain to create a light pink trail down his cheek. When he had spoken I had barely heard his words over the sound of the downpour.

“I can't beat you. I could never beat you I see that now.” It will always haunt me to see him lean forward with his fists against the ground and his head hung in shame. In that instant I felt pity for the boy for the first time.

“So you are giving up?” I had never expected him to say yes. The word was barely whispered but to me it had sounded as loud as a crack of thunder. What had shocked me more was his next words.

“Kill me. I have nothing to go back to.” I remember kneeling down in front of him and tipping his chin upwards so his masked eyes could meet mine. Touching his skin had been like touching ice and he had seemed so empty and drained, not to mention the fact that he was shivering. That was all I needed to take pity on him. Suddenly I had the uncontrollable urge to make him feel something, anything, it didn't matter what it was as long as it took the emptiness from his eyes. I would not have him die at my hand in the middle of a rainstorm with no emotion in his soul. He was meant for better things so I had leaned forward and captured his lips against mine.

For a moment he had remained unchanging and unresponsive and I had feared that my gamble had failed. Imagine my surprise when he had tentatively returned the kiss. I had pulled away and looked at him. It was impossible to see his eyes behind the mask but something seemed to have come alive in him. Something that was needy, and desperate, and ready to throw everything he had been taught out the window if he would be able to actually express how he felt for a change.

“I won't kill you.” In that moment he had lost whatever energy that had been keeping him going and he sagged forward, unconscious, into my waiting arms. I wasted no time in getting him inside. I had never imagined that the boy was so feather light, even in soaking wet clothes he weighed hardly nothing at all.

I had taken him to my room and immediately stripped him of his wet clothes before wrapping him in a spare bathrobe and tucking him into bed. I had been tempted to remove his mask but left it. He had had the nerve to seek me out so I would respect him by leaving his identify in tact. I don't know why I had suddenly become so paternal towards the boy. I look back on the incident now and attribute it to the fact that if he were Rose I would have done the same thing.

After seeing to him I had changed into fresh clothes of my own and ordered for tea to be brought to my room. It had taken several hours for the boy to stir again and when he did it had been a slow return to consciousness. The first thing he had noticed was his lack of clothing and I remember smirking as he sat bolt upright in bed only to collapse back against the pillows seconds later.

“I wouldn't try moving if I were you.” The sound of my voice had caused his head to snap up and he had done his best to glare at me but it came off as rather pitiful and ineffective. Most likely due to the fact that he was still shivering despite being wrapped in warm blankets. Before he was able to protest I had reached out and grabbed his wrist. Much to my dismay his skin had still felt cold to the touch.

“What did you do to me? Where are my clothes?” I couldn't help but laugh quietly.

“I did nothing that you do not remember. I kissed you to prove to you that you could still feel and I refused to kill you because you are meant for a better death.” I remember how my words had upset him.

“What if I want to die?” I remember how my hand had tightened around his wrist and my anger had risen as he had spoken. I remember pulling him so close to me that our noses were almost touching and staring into his eyes, trying to figure out for myself whether he actually wanted to die or not. I had removed his mask at that point and the hint of fear I had seen in his bright blue eyes had convinced me that he really wasn't seeking a quick death. He had come to me as a confused boy hoping to prove to his friends that he could be something other than a scared child.

“You don't want to die little bird.” My words had startled him and something had sparked deep within his eyes and I had found myself unable to look away so I had done the only thing that had felt right at the time. I had leaned in and kissed him again, there was no hesitation when he kissed me back. He had wanted the release I was offering even if it wasn't the release he had been seeking when he arrived. We had pulled apart and I remember looking down at him and seeing the flush that had risen to his skin and the slight irregularity of breath that only the ones who knew him best would notice. I had never seen him so fragile yet so desperate at the same time.

“Be careful what you wish for.” He had nodded, too afraid to trust his voice to form actual words. “Is this what you really want?” He had nodded again and I couldn't help but notice that he had seemed a little bit more sure of himself that second time. I had dropped the mask to his side and ran my hand through his hair as I had captured his mouth. His lips had parted even as I moved on top of him and a soft cry had escaped Robin's throat as he felt me move against him. My other hand had undone the ties of the bathrobe and he had arched against me as it fell free.

“Please Slade.” His voice had been little more than a whisper when I had broken the kiss and moved my kisses to his collarbone. I had obliged him by moving my knee between his legs and applying gentle pressure there. His eyes had practically rolled back in his head with pleasure as he bucked and rubbed against me in an attempt to increase the friction between us. “Please.” Eventually his movements had driven me past the point of my own control and I had given into him, stripping my own clothes away and taking him just like he begged me to. I had given him release. When we had finished he had curled against my bare chest, seeking my warmth and the little comfort that he had felt I could offer him. Holding him when he had nothing left to give was something I thought I would never do.

I had never seen him like that before, so lost and yet knowing exactly what he wanted at the exact same time. I had wondered exactly how any young man could put their own needs and emotions aside to the point that when they broke down they turned to the least likely person to save them. Not that Dick expected me to save him at that point. He just wanted to be released from all the expectations that had haunted him and I was the one person who could know that he had broken down and still go through each day as though he hadn't. He had realized that night that I would treat him no different just because I had seen him at his worst because he knew that I had seen him at his best as well and had still tried to challenge him to do better.

That first night was a release, just like every other time he has come to me since then has been a release. It's a delicate dance between us. We both know that one day his friends will find and that they will probably turn on him for seeking solace in my company rather than their's. Until that happens though I will be there waiting whenever my little bird gets his wings clipped and limps back to me seeking a safe refuge and a place where he can break down with no one to judge him. We both do it because I've seen him at his best and still encouraged him to do better.

I definitly want to know what you guys think of this piece. Please drop me some comments.

cartoon: teen titans, fan fic, het, slash

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