Cycle of Life: Step two (or is this three?)
This morning at 7:20 a.m. Libe, my best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Maria-Raisa, which weighs around 8 pounds, has her "eyebrows and lower lip", and "his eyes and higher lip", and "a flat nose like babies usually do" (I'm taking her statement for granted since we only talked on the phone).
I was so anxious last night and fidgety and it wasn't just because he called me (I love my baby, but shh... He's not supposed to know) It was as if I was the one who was supposed to sit on the table with my legs sprawled, swearing, and pushing another human being out of me.
I had a troubled sleep and closer to the morning when my cellphone alarm went off (at 6 a.m.) I was dreaming that a little girl no older than 3, dressed in a white, linen, night gown gave me a sparkly star to hang around my neck and I knew then it was going to be all right. That and the fact that I fell back asleep and missed my classes today.
Around 7:20, when Libe told me she was in full expulsion process I had the vague feeling as if I were holding her hand... I know that most of you will say that's crazy, but she's my best friend, actually she's more than that: SHE'S my SISTER. We really do have a connection and these last few days I've been checking in with her daily. For example, last evening I called her three times. The first she didn't answer cause she was taking a bath. The second she didn't answer cause she was having minor contractions and the third time I called her her future mother-in-law answered (this was at 11:30 p.m.) and told me she had just left for the hospital.
Oh God. Nature is beautiful. Someday maybe I'll be looking forward to motherhood myself. Someday in the future... For now I'm coping with the situation of having a boyfriend that is nearly 5000 miles away. He called yesterday evening and we talked. I do love his voice, and all the stuff we chat about (if it's his three dogs or his sister's Tom cat)
Come to think of it, I love him. And ugh. I forgot to take the pictures for him. Well ok, I didn't actually forget, because I did tell Ade (one of my Dorm roommates), but she promised she'll take pictures Friday which is tomorrow. Plus my baby will have to understand that my best friend's pregnancy comes first.
No poems. Ok maybe just one. An older one, in a LJ cut.
~LEMON SCENTED~
When I gaze at you
I feel an emptiness in my stomach,
my toes curl,
my skin prickles,
I can hear my heartbeat
ringing in my ears,
my breathing turns irregular,
and I get all fidgety.
I wonder... Do you see me?
And if you do
how do you feel towards me?
Have you figured me out?
Do you know how much I like you?
I really wish I'd stop blushing...
When our looks collide
you smile my way,
I forget to breathe all over again,
I forget to think...
The effect you have on me,
is complete,
and nothing else matters,
but for your playful eyes
and the smile in the corner
of your mouth,
that seems to hide a secret.
You've come next to me
and if I reach out I can touch you,
but I'm scared to do it.
When you pull me in your arms
I close my eyes and dream away...
And my dreams taste of you
and are lemon scented.