Not enough
It's such a strange feeling to not get enough of one person. It's been so long since I've felt like this and it's such a rush, but it's terrible at the same time because I can hardly stand the thought of not being close to one another. The other day my mom told me "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I don't see how I could become anymore fond than I already am. The feeling of being wanted-- of being held, is just indescribable. I never want it to go. He came the night before last and we had dinner and hung out at Casey's for awhile, then went to a party. I know I said I wouldn't drink anymore this summer in Turlock, but I feel safe around him because I know he won't let me do anything stupid. It was great sitting outside drinking by a fire with my two favorite people in the world. I can't wait to see pictures. Unfortunately, the cops showed up and we had to relocate back to Muriel's house. This was fortunate, though, because she's my Breezy and generously offered the private space of her room. Unfortunately, her room served as the gateway to the outside, since somehow the front door was deadbolted from the inside. No one minded much, though. Muriel did slice her wrist open while trying to open a window, but she's a tough Mexican, and along with Brian's eagle scout skills, she'll be fine. In the morning her brother drove us back to our cars and I dropped Casey back at her house, and Brian and I got some time alone at my house before he had to be back in WC at noon. This whole things finally feels like it's coming together after all of these months. Now I know it's not just me. I'm just left wanting more... more of this feeling. More of what makes me smile at work, even though I hate it. And every parting ends with the words "I'll see you soon" and it's still a comfort to me because I know it's true. Soon is not soon enough, but it's enough to keep me going.