The return of the morbid fascination (sounds like a movie title lol)

[alkalineboot]

I haven't listened to Alkaline Trio heavily as of late it is weird they are like one of my many favorite bands and yet I haven't listened to them but I feel like that is about to change.... I'm starting to feel hopeless again.... I love Danielle and I know that she completes me but when I am not with her I usually can keep myself chipper and happy but sometimes the depression creeps up on me I just want to die.  plain and simple it is that.  Sometimes I feel like I have lost so much and I have, my father my best friend I didn't even know my grandfather on my fathers side my gram Whitey.  I am in a morbid mood as of right now thinking about death makes me happy afterwords though I feel like I wanna slit my wrists in hot water before I am done.  The reason thinking about death makes me happy afterwords is not because I am a sick fuck but because I remember the people that I have lost as they lived and loved and as I loved them.  So this morbid fascination is a passing thing as always and I will be better sooner than later I hope.
Sorry if I depress you just writing what I am feeling now, which is better than keeping it all inside, right?
semper amo te
Jon