(no subject)
well today the pope died...and while I am not sad necessarily like all the other people...it did get at me in a way. It was really weird, I caught a news channel while surfing the channels last night that was just sitting there at the vatican waiting...and for some reason I got sucked in all through the night until the moment came today when they announced his death. I found all the factual stuff about his life really interesting, and it taught me alot about the guy and I guess made me respect him a lot more, but I still felt odd that i was sitting here watching these news people waiting for him to die. I wondered how many other people were doing as I was. You know it's strange really because he was the only pope I have ever know, and being raised Catholic and sent to all catholic schools, from a very young age it was ingrained in me to somewhat idolize this person, and to me I always thought growing up that this man was like immortal. Then all of a sudden this person dies from a normal sickness just like anyone else. I learned he had a rough life, lots of suffering, I mean there were lots of good things too, but you know when your a child and your told to think highly of a person and to you they are indestructable, its wierd, even now that I am an adult and I know better, to think of them as any less than that. So I guess in a way, my childhood came crashing down on me in a sense. This guy lived his entire life for God and he did so many wonderful things for so many people and then he gets so sick for so long and then just goes like that...No big thing. It makes me question what its all really about, I mean if a person who does all that can die like that ...what about the rest of us? It really makes me sad. I dont know I mean he was old and maybe he was enlightened there at the end, but you know it scares me a little...Is there really more after all this or am I just brainwashed and naive?