and im bleeding my darling...
"if you're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are..."
Well after a couple days of contemplating, I asked her. There wasnt an answer. It was as if she really didnt want to and didnt know how to break it to me easy. It sounded uncertain and, at best, unhopeful. Its as if, all i long for is clarity. Searching for a former clarity. this uncertainness, this feeling of 'I wonder if she is just doing this as a pity for me', this questioning of motives, can and will drive you crazy. There is nothing worse than the feeling that an act is being put on your behalf. Isnt it something how a single person can drastically alter your mood with a slight change of mind? A certainty to having second thoughts, ultimately, means being on top of the world to feeling the worst you have felt since the last time this happened. sure, friends can persuade, but ultimately its up to her. The last thing I would want is to be dating her, based solely on the fact that one of her friends would hate her if she didnt. because, thats not what its about, or at least it shouldnt be. If that were the case than i'd rather be heartbroken then put on a show for a little while, which in turn, would ultimately lead to a bigger heart break. All I want is truth and clarity, whatever that may be.
"All that can hurt me is the truth, now which you provide. All that can save me is your lies..."
Well after a couple days of contemplating, I asked her. There wasnt an answer. It was as if she really didnt want to and didnt know how to break it to me easy. It sounded uncertain and, at best, unhopeful. Its as if, all i long for is clarity. Searching for a former clarity. this uncertainness, this feeling of 'I wonder if she is just doing this as a pity for me', this questioning of motives, can and will drive you crazy. There is nothing worse than the feeling that an act is being put on your behalf. Isnt it something how a single person can drastically alter your mood with a slight change of mind? A certainty to having second thoughts, ultimately, means being on top of the world to feeling the worst you have felt since the last time this happened. sure, friends can persuade, but ultimately its up to her. The last thing I would want is to be dating her, based solely on the fact that one of her friends would hate her if she didnt. because, thats not what its about, or at least it shouldnt be. If that were the case than i'd rather be heartbroken then put on a show for a little while, which in turn, would ultimately lead to a bigger heart break. All I want is truth and clarity, whatever that may be.
"All that can hurt me is the truth, now which you provide. All that can save me is your lies..."