Lonely
I spend most of the time when I am around people wishing I was on my own.
When I am alone I spend a lot of the time searching for threats, anything which could cuase me harm. And wishing I wasn't alone.
I sometimes say I am to ill to go out. Yeah I actually am. then within a few minutes I hate myself for not going.. being alone is one of the worst things for me, yet at the same time its what I always request.
At college, I have my laptop. Im not 100% alone that way but I am alone.. I sit in any emtpy classroom I find, sometimes even teh corridor where I can charge my lappy. I talk to someone on MSN if theres people on.. I don tfeel that alone but at the same time I am scared people will think I am a loner etc. I dont really have friends at college, the ones I do have I always try to get away from. Theres only 1 person I love being around..
Shes amazing, shes lost the same amount of weight I need to lose, shes beautiful, skinny, shes mvoed here from another country. She is intelligent, she learnt to speak english in less than a year wihtout any lessons. Shes a great artist, she really makes me feel ashamed of my art! Although she sucks at photography.. but still her art is so awesome. From the first time I met her, I wanted to be her. She gets ncie boyfriends, has ncie clothes, is pretty, is intelligent etc.. And Im just a fat ugly slob.
END OF RANT.
When I am alone I spend a lot of the time searching for threats, anything which could cuase me harm. And wishing I wasn't alone.
I sometimes say I am to ill to go out. Yeah I actually am. then within a few minutes I hate myself for not going.. being alone is one of the worst things for me, yet at the same time its what I always request.
At college, I have my laptop. Im not 100% alone that way but I am alone.. I sit in any emtpy classroom I find, sometimes even teh corridor where I can charge my lappy. I talk to someone on MSN if theres people on.. I don tfeel that alone but at the same time I am scared people will think I am a loner etc. I dont really have friends at college, the ones I do have I always try to get away from. Theres only 1 person I love being around..
Shes amazing, shes lost the same amount of weight I need to lose, shes beautiful, skinny, shes mvoed here from another country. She is intelligent, she learnt to speak english in less than a year wihtout any lessons. Shes a great artist, she really makes me feel ashamed of my art! Although she sucks at photography.. but still her art is so awesome. From the first time I met her, I wanted to be her. She gets ncie boyfriends, has ncie clothes, is pretty, is intelligent etc.. And Im just a fat ugly slob.
END OF RANT.