Prince Charming
I worked the ER today. I had a guy come over... we'll call him Ed. Ed is a young hispanic guy with some mental health and/or behavior disorder issues.
Ed came over because he was hearing voices, they were telling him to hurt himself, hurt other people. He took pens and poked at his ears to get the voices to stop... and in the process did not happen to touch the inner ear or ear canal, but did scratch around his outer ear causing it to bleed.
Ed has told me on several occasions how I am the love of his life, he plans on finding me and marrying me when he gets out of prison, and if I don't let him talk to me when he gets out, he is going to take a 9mm gun to his head. I've basically just found that when I try to convince these guys that they're NOT in love with me, they become suicidal and do stupid shit like taking their hatch (the little door that unlocks to pass their meal tray in and out of their cell) hostage and threaten to hurt themselves if they can't talk to me...
So I have resorted to just letting them have their weird fantasies about me being their [insert your favorite female partner role... wife, girlfriend, slave, head nurse, etc... here]. And that works, for the most part. But after this guy came over to have his ears cleaned and I *thought* he got his fix...
He went back to the cell house only to swallow 2 metal/wire earpieces from his eyeglasses, cut his elbow with a piece of metal so that he had a 4.5cm long by .5cm deep laceration, and *drumroll* stuck a q-tip AND a pen up his penis.
Tada!
And I thought I felt flattered when a random stranger told me he found me attractive. How will men on the outside in society EVER compare to the extremes these guys go to? LOL.
After I convinced him he did NOT do all this shit because he loves me, I helped the doc stitch up his arm and molest his penis to find that the shit was stuck further up than anyone was going to be able to reach, and racked up a half hour of overtime, and had just ONE more story to tell people about. Yay.
Another interesting day in the Land of Oz. Tee hee.
-Nurse Manda
Ed came over because he was hearing voices, they were telling him to hurt himself, hurt other people. He took pens and poked at his ears to get the voices to stop... and in the process did not happen to touch the inner ear or ear canal, but did scratch around his outer ear causing it to bleed.
Ed has told me on several occasions how I am the love of his life, he plans on finding me and marrying me when he gets out of prison, and if I don't let him talk to me when he gets out, he is going to take a 9mm gun to his head. I've basically just found that when I try to convince these guys that they're NOT in love with me, they become suicidal and do stupid shit like taking their hatch (the little door that unlocks to pass their meal tray in and out of their cell) hostage and threaten to hurt themselves if they can't talk to me...
So I have resorted to just letting them have their weird fantasies about me being their [insert your favorite female partner role... wife, girlfriend, slave, head nurse, etc... here]. And that works, for the most part. But after this guy came over to have his ears cleaned and I *thought* he got his fix...
He went back to the cell house only to swallow 2 metal/wire earpieces from his eyeglasses, cut his elbow with a piece of metal so that he had a 4.5cm long by .5cm deep laceration, and *drumroll* stuck a q-tip AND a pen up his penis.
Tada!
And I thought I felt flattered when a random stranger told me he found me attractive. How will men on the outside in society EVER compare to the extremes these guys go to? LOL.
After I convinced him he did NOT do all this shit because he loves me, I helped the doc stitch up his arm and molest his penis to find that the shit was stuck further up than anyone was going to be able to reach, and racked up a half hour of overtime, and had just ONE more story to tell people about. Yay.
Another interesting day in the Land of Oz. Tee hee.
-Nurse Manda