All I ever wanted was to be King in the North.
Subject line, courtesy of Robb Stark.
It's hot here in NYC. This week our A/C broke down and that made me roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air. I sleep a lot during the hot & humid summers and this summer is far hotter than the last one, so blah. I was feeling a lot better mental-health-wise and I think that is ongoing, but it's hard to tell if I'm just hot and annoyed and tired, or if I'm rolling back on the depression/anxiety. It has been extremely awesome to feel some relief from the darkness, I have to say that. Better to be on this plateau than still in the valley. Ya know?
For those playing along at home, it's been as follows: March: Israel and Italy. June: London and California. While I was in London and then in California, I was feeling pretty good. Really good at times. Sometimes I'd feel happy and it was mind-boggling: WHAT IS THIS OH IT'S A HAPPY FEEL. One realizes just how long one has gone without it, when one feels it for the first time in a long time.
In London I saw friends and went to plays and Eddie Izzard and let my hair down in many, many ways. I went with friends to a fetish club and enjoyed the freedom people were able to exhibit. I'm learning what turns me on. I think it's important. My spouse is uninterested in this subject. That's okay for now, because *I'm* interested and ready to explore guilt-free. I've been guilty all my life, so enough of that! Here's a shot of my new corset:
The time in California was spent with family - mostly my Mom and Dad. We had the best time. They were thrilled to see me feeling better and we could just enjoy relaxed, quality time. I am really lucky to have such a great family, I realize that. There's a lot of love there, and they have been supportive beyond words. Also, not for nothing, but where they live part-time in CA is gorgeous. It's just really, really nice. What wouldn't a New Yorker give for a deck to sit on with a view of trees and the scent of ocean air? I'd give a hell of a lot right now, given the state of my tropical hothouse aka my smelly apartment.
It's hot here in NYC. This week our A/C broke down and that made me roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air. I sleep a lot during the hot & humid summers and this summer is far hotter than the last one, so blah. I was feeling a lot better mental-health-wise and I think that is ongoing, but it's hard to tell if I'm just hot and annoyed and tired, or if I'm rolling back on the depression/anxiety. It has been extremely awesome to feel some relief from the darkness, I have to say that. Better to be on this plateau than still in the valley. Ya know?
For those playing along at home, it's been as follows: March: Israel and Italy. June: London and California. While I was in London and then in California, I was feeling pretty good. Really good at times. Sometimes I'd feel happy and it was mind-boggling: WHAT IS THIS OH IT'S A HAPPY FEEL. One realizes just how long one has gone without it, when one feels it for the first time in a long time.
In London I saw friends and went to plays and Eddie Izzard and let my hair down in many, many ways. I went with friends to a fetish club and enjoyed the freedom people were able to exhibit. I'm learning what turns me on. I think it's important. My spouse is uninterested in this subject. That's okay for now, because *I'm* interested and ready to explore guilt-free. I've been guilty all my life, so enough of that! Here's a shot of my new corset:
The time in California was spent with family - mostly my Mom and Dad. We had the best time. They were thrilled to see me feeling better and we could just enjoy relaxed, quality time. I am really lucky to have such a great family, I realize that. There's a lot of love there, and they have been supportive beyond words. Also, not for nothing, but where they live part-time in CA is gorgeous. It's just really, really nice. What wouldn't a New Yorker give for a deck to sit on with a view of trees and the scent of ocean air? I'd give a hell of a lot right now, given the state of my tropical hothouse aka my smelly apartment.