"Beard" by alizarin_nyc, John/Rodney
Title: Beard
Author: Alizarin_NYC
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Words: 450
Notes: Look, I wrote this a while ago, when Ronon/Keller were still a possibility, so it’s not an anti-Keller reaction, don’t freak out! It just amused me.
Summary: John thought that if this was a prank of some kind, it was one of Rodney's worst ever. "You and Katie seemed like a perfectly happy couple."
No one was more surprised than John when Rodney came to him with his Big Gay Confession.
"Yes! Yes! I'm gay. It's true, the rumors are true. Jennifer Keller was just a beard."
"A beard," John said thoughtfully, scratching at his own. "Like as in... beard?"
"Yes. Beard. Costume. Not the real me. A diversionary tactic to prevent people from finding out about Big Gay Me."
"What does Jennifer Keller think about her new role as your beard?"
"What does she think? She doesn't! She doesn't know, and anyway she's chosen Ronon to be her beau, so now I have no beard, I'm totally beardless!"
"You're a little clean shaven," John observed, still wondering idly how he hadn't picked up on this before. "Maybe Dr. Keller figured it out herself. That you're just not into her, I mean."
"Maybe," Rodney said glumly. "Katie cottoned on to me... that's what prompted my Big Gay Proposal, you know."
"No, no I didn't know." John thought that if this was a prank of some kind, it was one of Rodney's worst ever. "You and Katie seemed like a perfectly happy couple."
"Liar," Rodney said. "So there it is. Now you know. I'm a Big Ol' Homo. Gay, gay, gay. I love show tunes and rainbow flags and I'm all about pink triangles, just call me Dame Diva McKay." He fluttered his hands in mock performance but the look on his face was one of pure defeat, as if he'd been humiliated in front of his high school buddies.
"Well. Mazel Tov," John said brightly.
"What? That's all you have to say after I pour my very soul out to you with the Atlantis scandal of the century?"
"What did you want me to do, Rodney? Throw a coming out debutante ball for you?"
"No. I was thinking you would shrug and act uncomfortable and say that my status on the team would be under review and that you needed time to get your head around it and that this was still a military operation... and 'Ew, Rodney, really? MEN? Other men with their hairy asses? Have you never tried breasts before?'"
"Um. I assume you have."
"Damn straight."
"Well, I wasn't really thinking about doing or saying any of those things."
"Oh God, something worse? What, what are you thinking, John, I would really appreciate some feedback here."
No one was more surprised than Rodney when John stepped closer and halted him mid-pace. He tilted Rodney's face up and kissed him - sweetly, gently, and, he hoped - convincingly.
"If this is some kind of prank, it's your worst ever," Rodney said.
John smiled and kissed him again. "I like show tunes too," he whispered.
.
Author: Alizarin_NYC
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Words: 450
Notes: Look, I wrote this a while ago, when Ronon/Keller were still a possibility, so it’s not an anti-Keller reaction, don’t freak out! It just amused me.
Summary: John thought that if this was a prank of some kind, it was one of Rodney's worst ever. "You and Katie seemed like a perfectly happy couple."
No one was more surprised than John when Rodney came to him with his Big Gay Confession.
"Yes! Yes! I'm gay. It's true, the rumors are true. Jennifer Keller was just a beard."
"A beard," John said thoughtfully, scratching at his own. "Like as in... beard?"
"Yes. Beard. Costume. Not the real me. A diversionary tactic to prevent people from finding out about Big Gay Me."
"What does Jennifer Keller think about her new role as your beard?"
"What does she think? She doesn't! She doesn't know, and anyway she's chosen Ronon to be her beau, so now I have no beard, I'm totally beardless!"
"You're a little clean shaven," John observed, still wondering idly how he hadn't picked up on this before. "Maybe Dr. Keller figured it out herself. That you're just not into her, I mean."
"Maybe," Rodney said glumly. "Katie cottoned on to me... that's what prompted my Big Gay Proposal, you know."
"No, no I didn't know." John thought that if this was a prank of some kind, it was one of Rodney's worst ever. "You and Katie seemed like a perfectly happy couple."
"Liar," Rodney said. "So there it is. Now you know. I'm a Big Ol' Homo. Gay, gay, gay. I love show tunes and rainbow flags and I'm all about pink triangles, just call me Dame Diva McKay." He fluttered his hands in mock performance but the look on his face was one of pure defeat, as if he'd been humiliated in front of his high school buddies.
"Well. Mazel Tov," John said brightly.
"What? That's all you have to say after I pour my very soul out to you with the Atlantis scandal of the century?"
"What did you want me to do, Rodney? Throw a coming out debutante ball for you?"
"No. I was thinking you would shrug and act uncomfortable and say that my status on the team would be under review and that you needed time to get your head around it and that this was still a military operation... and 'Ew, Rodney, really? MEN? Other men with their hairy asses? Have you never tried breasts before?'"
"Um. I assume you have."
"Damn straight."
"Well, I wasn't really thinking about doing or saying any of those things."
"Oh God, something worse? What, what are you thinking, John, I would really appreciate some feedback here."
No one was more surprised than Rodney when John stepped closer and halted him mid-pace. He tilted Rodney's face up and kissed him - sweetly, gently, and, he hoped - convincingly.
"If this is some kind of prank, it's your worst ever," Rodney said.
John smiled and kissed him again. "I like show tunes too," he whispered.
.