Fic: Chapter 14 of A Place Under Heaven
Chapter 14 Infected
Carlisle poured over his books in search of answers. A vampire epidemic seemed unthinkable. Vampires had fed on humans infected with every plague known to history and yet they survived.
He flipped back through volumes of medical notes so old that the rusty aroma of blood in the pages conjured up memories of saws and gore and open operating theaters, before anesthesia or simple hygiene had been a part of healing. Carlisle could still hear the cries of the wounded and dying. He looked down at his hands, for a moment almost thinking that he could see the wet crimson of blood, but the ghost of it vanished.
Carlisle realized he had not eaten for days and the tightness at the center of his chest and throat pulsed and constricted as he gave it his full attention. He had learned to distract himself from the needs of his flesh, but in this moment of uncensored recollection, the desires of his body asserted themselves.
I should feed. I need my strength, he thought, trying to imagine what new challenge he would be facing in Volterra.
Carlisle had tried not to feed since he had spoken to Tara about how blood represented a spiritual connection.
If I could view blood as a philosophical and spiritual need, surely I, Carlisle Cullen, could do without, he thought. Then he felt shame at his own pride.
The dry thirst pricked him again and he rose swiftly to move out the door, shedding his coat.
He had not hunted alone in a long time and it was exhilarating. The night air was cold, but not colder than his skin. The scents moved his limbs and allowed the fluid stream of the delicious odors to pull him forward. The hunt was effortless. After hundreds of years of existence, Carlisle did not need his mind to calculate the attack and parry. The death he brought was swift.
This scent was almost overpowering. It connected to his chest, pulling him like an iron chain, and the stream of aroma became a raging torrent that clouded his thoughts and sliced his throat raw with need. His destination was the beating heart. Sweetness flooded his mouth and he was mindless with desire. He vaguely recognized the sound of a car engine, but his hunger overcame his normal caution. The heart was closer and closer, he could feel it beating in his own chest. He imagined the life energy from the heart coursing into him. His mouth opened in anticipation and his eyes focused with predatory precision on a movement in the dark. Carlisle coiled and leapt.
Unexpectedly, he collided in midair with something hard enough to halt his trajectory. So focused was he on his target that he was momentarily dazed as he hit the ground. He heard a scream and the delicious heart increased its tempo. He regained his feet. A car hurtled down the road toward him and he was momentarily blinded by its headlights as the unidentified rock-hard object plowed into him again, this time flinging him from the road and down a steep hill. Carlisle was pinned in iron bands and he began to struggle until his senses returned and he recognized the scent. Edward.
Edward slowly loosened his grip as he watched Carlisle’s eyes focus.
“Carlisle,” Edward said, his face grim. “Father … what were you planning to do to that girl?”
The recollection of the sensations became crystal clear…the scent…the pulse. His mind constricted in horror as he realized what he had almost done. Edward’s eyes searched his face in concern.
Carlisle reached up and took Edward’s arm. “Edward…I think I’m not well.”
---
Edward had experienced thirst and bloodlust through other vampire’s minds many times before. When he was first learning to control his hunger this was one of his greatest temptations. Never before had he experienced these thoughts from his father’s mind. Carlisle was a source of constancy and safety. Edward had been with Carlisle so long he knew his mind almost better than he knew his own. When he had felt the raw uncontrolled needs from Carlisle he hadn’t hesitated to run to his father’s side. There was no doubt in his mind that only the rampant hunger of the fever would overcome Carlisle’s consummate self-control.
Even now, in the aftermath of the shock and horror, Edward could hear his father’s mind come to the same conclusion. Carlisle began to catalogue the symptoms and even consider the safety of his intended victim.
Was she hurt?
“She’s fine,” Edward answered softly. “Her car had broken down. Esme is with her now. The tow truck is on its way; let’s just stay here for a few minutes. She didn’t really see you. Esme has her convinced she saw a deer.”
They waited until they heard the tow truck leave and then rose and walked up to the road. Esme embraced Carlisle and ran her hands over his hair and down his arms.
“Relax, Mom, I didn’t break him,” Edward said with a wry smile.
Esme’s lip was trembling. If Carlisle had killed that girl, he would never forgive himself.
Edward could hear her thoughts and he agreed. It was not that Carlisle wasn’t merciful of the failings of others, it was just that the essence of his being was tied up in helping humans. A Carlisle who killed just would not be Carlisle.
“I’m not harmed,” Carlisle said, but his voice lacked its usual vigor.
“I brought the car,” said Esme. “I’ll drive us home.”
On the ride, Edward knew they were fully aware that he could hear them, but were considering carefully what to say to each other. The love between the two of them was an inspiration for Edward. In many ways, they had taught him to love so that he was ready when Bella finally came into his life.
Carlisle was still considering his “case” - as he now thought of it. Esme’s mind was a sea of worry, her thoughts almost formless. They sped through the night and arrived home shortly.
Jane was waiting for them on the porch.
“Carlisle is not well,” Edward said shortly. Jane instantly understood.
“If it is the fever he will need human blood. Don’t deny him-the cravings will only get worse,” she said, glancing at Carlisle’s face quickly. His expression did not change.
Edward knew that Carlisle had considered the possibility that he was infected.
Bella ran at Carlisle and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. Edward watched as Carlisle stroked Bella’s brown curls comfortingly. She pulled back and looked into his eyes for a long moment, searching his youthful face. He waited for her to speak.
“You didn’t do it,” she whispered fiercely. “You didn’t do it.”
--
Bella had been in anguish ever since Esme had called to tell her what happened. She knew that Carlisle was the bedrock of the family and that his courage and conviction had been the reference point for all of them. It was the thought of Carlisle that had pulled her mouth back from Tara’s wrist, even as the warm sweet blood flowed over her tongue. The memory of how that blood had strengthened her, how it had filled every void and left her simultaneously fulfilled and wanting more sung in her brain even now.
She released Carlisle and stepped back. If he had given in to temptation it would have been devastating. Bella wondered if Carlisle had any idea how much he meant to all of them.
Carlisle took her hand and squeezed it.
“Edward was there for me,” he said, looking at his son lovingly.
Edward will always be there for us all, Bella thought. Carlisle leaned heavily on Edward’s arm and they entered the house together.
Bella remained standing on the porch with Jane, who was looking at her in astonishment.
“Carlisle is your leader, correct?” Jane asked.
“He wouldn’t put it that way,” Bella said. “He is the oldest of us and we think of him as the father and of course there is something about Carlisle that everyone recognizes as special.”
“He does command a certain respect,” Jane said, “but I don’t necessarily fear him.”
“Why would you fear him?” Bella asked sharply. “Carlisle leads with love. Anyone who stays with him does so because they love him.”
Bella immediately regretted the harshness of her tone. Jane had been a young girl when Aro found her. The only life she had ever known was as a servant of a master. She felt compelled to explain to the girl that there was another way.
“Carlisle believes in second chances and so do I,” Bella said softly. “I know that Tara healed you, the worst of the damage is repaired…” she trailed off, wondering if she had pushed Jane too far. She swallowed and looked at Jane, deciding to trust her.
She could barely meet Jane’s eyes. “We’re not perfect,” she said. “I, I killed a man.” She bit her lip and shuddered as the words left her lips. Everyone had forgiven her and with Tara’s help she had forgiven herself, but her faith was shaken. Carlisle had never even given her a reproving look, but Bella deeply felt the gap between her loss of control and his perfection.
Jane’s red eyes had faded in their intensity. “The lure of human blood is strong,” she said in an uncharacteristic attempt to comfort Bella.
“I did not bite him,” Bella said, “He was attacking a girl and I succumbed to my rage. I felt so connected to her; it was almost as if he was attacking me.” As she said the words, her perfect vampire memory flashed back to the raw emotion of that moment. She unconsciously tested and strengthened her shield, pulling it around her like a security blanket.
Jane’s gaze wavered and hardened. “That was one life. I have killed thousands,” she said, her voice carefully stripped of emotion.
Bella’s mind recoiled at the horror of the statement, but she felt mercy. She wanted to touch Jane, but sensed that the girl was holding herself in tenuous control, unaccustomed to kindness.
“Jane, remember when Tara touched you and how it felt. You aren’t alone. The past doesn’t matter now. Let’s focus on the future.”
“Maybe there is hope for me,” Jane mused. “Perhaps there will be hope for Carlisle. He may have the fever. You said Tara is a healer - can she heal him?”
At Jane’s words, terror shot through Bella, followed quickly by hope. Ever since Tara had come, she had changed everything. She ran to find her.
A few minutes later, Bella dragged a confused Tara into Carlisle’s office.
“I brought Tara to heal you,” Bella announced loudly and everyone in the room looked up in surprise.
“What do you mean, love?” Edward asked.
“Well, Tara is a healer, everyone is afraid Carlisle might be sick, so I brought her to fix him,” Bella said stubbornly.
Bella saw hope flare in Esme’s troubled eyes.
“Carlisle, I’m happy to help if I can. You know I’m not in control of anything. I still can’t even make sense of this static in my head. Can you tell me what is going on?” Tara asked in her calm, musical voice.
“Right now the only symptom I am experiencing is thirst,” Carlisle said and his voice was hoarse. “I really don’t know anything about the pathology of this fever, if that is what it is. In fact, until we know more about it, you should all stay away from me.”
“That is not going to happen, darling,” Esme said and her voice brooked no disagreement.
Bravo Esme! Bella thought.
“In the past, I have always felt the healing energy, or whatever it is, when I touch people,” Tara said. “Carlisle, give me your hand.”
Bella let herself feel hope. She could see that Edward was trying to look disengaged, but both he and Esme were leaning towards Carlisle eagerly. Bella held her breath as Carlisle took Tara’s slim, golden hand in his.
Their skin touched.
Bella could not stand the silence. “So…do you feel anything?” she blurted out.
“I think that Tara’s area of healing is more in the emotional realm. I still feel thirsty,” he said.
Esme looked crestfallen. Edward glanced quickly out the window to hide his disappointment.
Carlisle looked at the faces of his loved ones. “But a little less worried about it.” He flashed an ironic smile.
“In that case, Tara, I think I could use a hug,” Esme joked shakily, but it was clear she was not kidding.
Tara enfolded the delicate woman in her arms.
“Carlisle, you can’t be serious,” Edward said, reading Carlisle’s thoughts. “He is still planning to go to Italy,” he explained.
“The best chance at answers will be at the source, my son,” Carlisle said.
“Jane said you’ll need human blood to drink,” Edward pointed out an obvious difficulty.
“We will try animal blood first. If I do need human blood, I will take the bare minimum I need from the blood bank,” Carlisle agreed, “but that is not a sustainable solution. That blood is not for me. Let’s make the arrangements to go.”
“If you and Esme are going, then Edward and I will go too,” Bella said determinedly. She realized that her place was with her family. Tara looked at her like she understood and Edward gazed at her with a mixture of love and admiration.
They were going to Italy.