Songs with Bittersweet Memories series, Episode 4: "chelsea hotel" (dan bern)/"what can i do?" (ida)
These are two completely different songs that are both attached to a similar (but vague) set of memories. So a while after Ashira & I broke up, Kat -- the girl Ashira semi-left me for (at least, in words, at the time of the breakup) -- and I became friends. The how and wherefore of it all is much too long a story for this already late night. But in the course of that friendship's development, two mixes were made. I started it; I decided there were songs I wanted to share with her, and I also at the time had decided that I wanted to make a mix "tape" -- that is, two sets ("sides") of 45 minutes worth of music. So I sat down and tried to pull together ninety minutes of two themed sets of music that I thought she would like, and one of the first songs that came to mind was Dan Bern's "Chelsea Hotel".
Now, this song's been with me for a while, so long that it's from back in the days where my memory gets *really* bad. And I've always found it sexy and sad, at the same time, although of course I wasn't really thinking of that when I put it on the mix. (The sexy I was thinking of. Not so much with the sad, although the whole b-side of the mix ended up being pretty sad. Which probably should've been a sign, but it ended on a happy note, so whatever, right? LOL) But so the whole time I was friends (or whatever kids call it these days) with Kat, I found myself listening to that song *constantly*. I mean, like, once a day. It was insane, I was just infatuated with that song, and I couldn't figure out why. I'm sure there's some sort of crazy psychological reason, but the truth is, I think I just like the song. It makes me think of sex and sadness and hope, and those are all good things to think of. It's a simple enough folk song, but it has lovely music and the guitar just runs throughout and it makes me happy (when it's not making me feel nostalgic and sad and lonely).
So that's that song. The next part of the story is that Kat made me a mix in return. I don't know what her motivation was (actually, I kind of do -- somewhere lost in the emails I have a whole breakdown of the songs and what put them there), but the whole idea behind it all in the first place was that music was really important to both of us, and we were both pretty open-minded when it came to new music, and so what better way to get to know each other and to try to decide whether or not we could even get along than to share good music? And "What Can I Do?" was the second song on the mix, and the first was "Svefn-G-Englar", a 10 minute Sigur Ros song that I just could NOT get into, so I ended up skipping it more often than not. But this song....this song was amazing. The piano, and the melody, and the harmonies....it all was just *so* stunning. And I fell in love, and a lot of the time it would come on if I had my ipod on shuffle, and I'd just leave it on, because it's just too beautiful. Again: sad and full of hope.
And when I think of my whole relationship with Kat, that pretty much sums it all up. Sexy, sad, and full of hope. It was exactly what I needed at the time, exactly what I needed to remind myself what was important to me, how to present myself and what to look for in other people, and even though I'm sad about where and how it ended, I'm grateful for it.
Now, this song's been with me for a while, so long that it's from back in the days where my memory gets *really* bad. And I've always found it sexy and sad, at the same time, although of course I wasn't really thinking of that when I put it on the mix. (The sexy I was thinking of. Not so much with the sad, although the whole b-side of the mix ended up being pretty sad. Which probably should've been a sign, but it ended on a happy note, so whatever, right? LOL) But so the whole time I was friends (or whatever kids call it these days) with Kat, I found myself listening to that song *constantly*. I mean, like, once a day. It was insane, I was just infatuated with that song, and I couldn't figure out why. I'm sure there's some sort of crazy psychological reason, but the truth is, I think I just like the song. It makes me think of sex and sadness and hope, and those are all good things to think of. It's a simple enough folk song, but it has lovely music and the guitar just runs throughout and it makes me happy (when it's not making me feel nostalgic and sad and lonely).
So that's that song. The next part of the story is that Kat made me a mix in return. I don't know what her motivation was (actually, I kind of do -- somewhere lost in the emails I have a whole breakdown of the songs and what put them there), but the whole idea behind it all in the first place was that music was really important to both of us, and we were both pretty open-minded when it came to new music, and so what better way to get to know each other and to try to decide whether or not we could even get along than to share good music? And "What Can I Do?" was the second song on the mix, and the first was "Svefn-G-Englar", a 10 minute Sigur Ros song that I just could NOT get into, so I ended up skipping it more often than not. But this song....this song was amazing. The piano, and the melody, and the harmonies....it all was just *so* stunning. And I fell in love, and a lot of the time it would come on if I had my ipod on shuffle, and I'd just leave it on, because it's just too beautiful. Again: sad and full of hope.
And when I think of my whole relationship with Kat, that pretty much sums it all up. Sexy, sad, and full of hope. It was exactly what I needed at the time, exactly what I needed to remind myself what was important to me, how to present myself and what to look for in other people, and even though I'm sad about where and how it ended, I'm grateful for it.