so let's find a bar so dark we forget who we are where all the scars from the nevers and maybes die
a weird, WEIRD day. it started out with me waking up at 4.44 (no, that is NO joke) having to go to the bathroom and not being able to get back to sleep. but then i woke up at 7.30 and i was like, not even that tired.....until i got to starbucks to get my coffee (which yes, i actually purchased this morning -- ask sam, he was "accompanying" me, hahaha).
then i spent the first three hours i was at work unable to actually *work*. we were having network problems (that affected like, pretty much ONLY our group, go figure....), and since i work on and with a website, that pretty much meant i was SOL. so i went to lunch earlyish (around 12.15), and when i came back they'd fixed everything and i could actually do work. who ever thought i'd be looking *forward* to being able to work? certainly not me. so then i managed to get everything done that i needed to do today by 17.30. which should basically tell you just HOW MUCH work i actually have to do at my job. :( oh, and i started my xp upgrade before i left work besides. yeah. that's what i'm sayin'.
also, i "attended" this web session on "understanding the difference between depression and 'the blues'". it didn't really tell me much, except for when i asked the leader dude what first step *he* recommended taking in terms of seeking treatment. he said your family doctor might be able to guide you in the right direction. so since i don't have a family doctor, not really, i'm pretty much......SOL. oh, yay! but. he did give a list of depression symptoms. and guess who has like, a good number of them? oh, right, that would be me. brilliant!
oh, and did i mention the weird dreams last night? i think my brain replayed the ENTIRETY of the rent film in my sleep last night -- oh, and stuck me in there for good measure. not as one character, no, but as many, randomly, for no good reason. yeah. *yeah*.
on a completely tangential note, i LOVE the way that rosario dawson sounds like alanis when she says, "if you close your eyes". HA! (on a not completely tangential note, have i already mentioned that? cause i have a deja vu feeling suddenly.)
and i talked to nanda about going back to school and my heart kinda sank when i realized i'll probably NEVER do it. but she said she thought i'd make a really good elementary school teacher, which made me feel *really* good.
oh -- and i've entered the anger stage of grief. i don't know if that's good or bad, since on the one hand, it's only the second stage. but on the other hand, you don't necessarily have to go through them in order. so there's that. but........yeah. i'm angry. which is a shame, since i had all these beginnings of sad, sappy poems.......which will now not be finished anytime soon. HA! "what are you grieving?", you ask? why, my own sense of self-worth, thank you for asking!!!! yeah. *yeah*.
done now! except for the memes.....separate post? methinks so.
mwah!
~a
ETA: i TOTALLY forgot: the only thing i have to say about last night's grey's anatomy?? the words, "ooooh, enema!!!!" actually came out of my mouth. just think on that for a while. HAHAHAHAHAHA. also: new iconage. yay!
then i spent the first three hours i was at work unable to actually *work*. we were having network problems (that affected like, pretty much ONLY our group, go figure....), and since i work on and with a website, that pretty much meant i was SOL. so i went to lunch earlyish (around 12.15), and when i came back they'd fixed everything and i could actually do work. who ever thought i'd be looking *forward* to being able to work? certainly not me. so then i managed to get everything done that i needed to do today by 17.30. which should basically tell you just HOW MUCH work i actually have to do at my job. :( oh, and i started my xp upgrade before i left work besides. yeah. that's what i'm sayin'.
also, i "attended" this web session on "understanding the difference between depression and 'the blues'". it didn't really tell me much, except for when i asked the leader dude what first step *he* recommended taking in terms of seeking treatment. he said your family doctor might be able to guide you in the right direction. so since i don't have a family doctor, not really, i'm pretty much......SOL. oh, yay! but. he did give a list of depression symptoms. and guess who has like, a good number of them? oh, right, that would be me. brilliant!
oh, and did i mention the weird dreams last night? i think my brain replayed the ENTIRETY of the rent film in my sleep last night -- oh, and stuck me in there for good measure. not as one character, no, but as many, randomly, for no good reason. yeah. *yeah*.
on a completely tangential note, i LOVE the way that rosario dawson sounds like alanis when she says, "if you close your eyes". HA! (on a not completely tangential note, have i already mentioned that? cause i have a deja vu feeling suddenly.)
and i talked to nanda about going back to school and my heart kinda sank when i realized i'll probably NEVER do it. but she said she thought i'd make a really good elementary school teacher, which made me feel *really* good.
oh -- and i've entered the anger stage of grief. i don't know if that's good or bad, since on the one hand, it's only the second stage. but on the other hand, you don't necessarily have to go through them in order. so there's that. but........yeah. i'm angry. which is a shame, since i had all these beginnings of sad, sappy poems.......which will now not be finished anytime soon. HA! "what are you grieving?", you ask? why, my own sense of self-worth, thank you for asking!!!! yeah. *yeah*.
done now! except for the memes.....separate post? methinks so.
mwah!
~a
ETA: i TOTALLY forgot: the only thing i have to say about last night's grey's anatomy?? the words, "ooooh, enema!!!!" actually came out of my mouth. just think on that for a while. HAHAHAHAHAHA. also: new iconage. yay!