livin' a life of fear/i only want my mind to be clear
i realized earlier today that i am exactly one month shy of my 25th birthday.
so i spent the day getting all of the heavy, bulky shit (formerly of dad's storage space) out of my car (that i don't actually have anywhere to which to relocate it). and i finally got the airport set up in my brother's room so that i can have internet access stable enough to be on ichat occasionally and maybe even finally do that new layout i've been promising myself forever. and even though i keep telling myself i don't eat red meat, i gave into the bizarro burger king craving that i've had for like a week now (that upset my stomach and reminded me why i don't eat red meat). and i went out at 21.00 (on a sunday night) just to go to barnes and noble to look for this week's advocate where portia de rossi FINALLY does a "coming-out" interview (because i love portia). and i decided that i will spend the next month and a half before the new wheel of time book comes out rereading two books a week to be completely caught back up by october (that is, if i can find every one of my copies which i can't guarantee).
i feel like i should know more. like i should be somewhere else. like i should be a completely different person, with different neuroses, a different job, a different lifestyle. i watch and read all of these things on tv and the internet and the movies, and i just think to myself, 'i am wrong.' i feel like, when i was a freshman in college almost eight years ago, i was more of a grownup than i am now. i was on a better path, i was on the "right" track. i feel like i've taken this enormous detour that's taken me about a thousand miles in the completely wrong direction, and now i have to figure out a way to make it right. this is not where i saw myself getting on my feet. this is not how i envisioned the days leading up to my 25th birthday.
mwah.
~a
so i spent the day getting all of the heavy, bulky shit (formerly of dad's storage space) out of my car (that i don't actually have anywhere to which to relocate it). and i finally got the airport set up in my brother's room so that i can have internet access stable enough to be on ichat occasionally and maybe even finally do that new layout i've been promising myself forever. and even though i keep telling myself i don't eat red meat, i gave into the bizarro burger king craving that i've had for like a week now (that upset my stomach and reminded me why i don't eat red meat). and i went out at 21.00 (on a sunday night) just to go to barnes and noble to look for this week's advocate where portia de rossi FINALLY does a "coming-out" interview (because i love portia). and i decided that i will spend the next month and a half before the new wheel of time book comes out rereading two books a week to be completely caught back up by october (that is, if i can find every one of my copies which i can't guarantee).
i feel like i should know more. like i should be somewhere else. like i should be a completely different person, with different neuroses, a different job, a different lifestyle. i watch and read all of these things on tv and the internet and the movies, and i just think to myself, 'i am wrong.' i feel like, when i was a freshman in college almost eight years ago, i was more of a grownup than i am now. i was on a better path, i was on the "right" track. i feel like i've taken this enormous detour that's taken me about a thousand miles in the completely wrong direction, and now i have to figure out a way to make it right. this is not where i saw myself getting on my feet. this is not how i envisioned the days leading up to my 25th birthday.
mwah.
~a