Fic I'll Never Write
At the first merlinnyc I was encouraged by 
archaeologist_d and others to write Merlin/Arthur dual-mpreg. I began making some notes, but honestly? This is so not ever actually getting written (although I am open to bribes). I have, however, typed up my notes in case you're interested. (This is not what my first drafts typically look like.)
Arthur goes to Gaius with the symptoms of morning sickness. Gaius gives him some medecine, but when Arthur's condition doesn't improve Gaius realizes he is pregnant.
GAIUS: Do you know who the father is?
ART.: I am!
G. Very well. The other father!
A. Does it matter?
G. [Does it?]
A. How do I get rid of it?
G. There are methods, but they are dangerous, and even in a normal pregnancy I would caution against them save in extreme circumstances. But a male pregnancy implies a mystical component; it is essential we let it continue, or else the consequences may truly be dire: more than your life may hang in the balance, but also the life of the father--
A. Ahem.
G. --the other father, or maybe even the entire kingdom.
A. So I'm stuck with it?
G. If that is how you choose to view it. I would recommend that you commit some thought as to how you will alert your father to the situation.
A. My father must not know!
G. My prince, you are pregnant. It's going to become rather hard to hide it from him eventually.
A. How is this even possible?
G. I have heard of spells designed to animate and nurture human seed within a male body. Perhaps some sorceror--Nimueh, maybe--
A. And there is no way to undo it?
G. My lord, you know quite well no magic is allowed within your father's kingdom.
A. Gaius, I beg you. You need to find a way to stop this!
G. Merlin, are you feeling unwell?
M. [?????]
G. No, let me examine you.
[does]
Merlin, I know this an uncomfortable question, but--have you been, ahem, intimate with our young prince?
M. [burns red] Gaius!
G. I wouldn't ask except--Merlin, you seem to be pregnant.
M. Pregnant? Likw with a baby?
G. That is what pregnant means, yes.
M. How can I be pregnant? I'm a man!
G. I'm aware of that, Merlin. Nonetheless, you are pregnant. I'm quite certain.
M. Why did you ask about Arthur? Did he--
G. I would recommend you talk with Arthur, Merlin.
M. Gaius says I should talk with you.
A. Fine. You're talking with me. Let's talk about you mending my armor.
M. Gaius says--I'm pregnant, Arthur.
A. So?
M. So? I'm pregnant!
A. Congratulations?
M. How can you be so [????] about this?
A. Because you're a servant, Merlin. You're pregnant? It's weird and freaky, but at the end of the day you can have all the babies you want.
M. I don't want to have any babies. [pause] At least, I don't think so. I'm too young to be a father.
A. Mother.
M. [????] I'm too young to be either!
A. I can't believe you. Focusing on your own problems after what you did to me.
M. What I did to you?
A. You got me pregnant!
M. That's the same thing you did to me.
A. Unless you're a prince in charge of producing an heir to the kingdom, I'm pretty sure it's not.
M. We're going to be fathers.
A. You're the mother.
M. Well, I guess we're each the father of one and the mother of one.
A. You're the mother of both of them.
M. How does that work?
A. It works because I say it works.
U. Are you gaining weight, Arthur?
A. I don't think so.
U. You need to be in shape to lead the knights.
A. I'm aware of that. I'm fine.
U. I'm fairly sure you've put on weight.
G. You can't exert yourself like this.
A. I don't have a choice. I'm prince of Camelot.
G. You're also a mother.
A. Father.
U. Gaius, what is ailing my son?
G. Perhaps that is a question you should ask him yourself, my lord.
U. You are the physician. You tell me.
G. My lord, I must insist that you ask Arthur yourself.
U. He insists that nothing ails him, yet he [?????]. I begin to fear that [?????].
G. In my opinion, he has done nothing he need feel ashamed of.
U. Then what is the problem?
G. It is not my opinion which counts, my lord. It is yours.
Gw. You've gained weight.
M. Yes, I have.
Gw. So has Arthur.
M. Has he? I haven't noticed.
And then when Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic, he wants Merlin to use it to abort the fetuses, but Merlin won't because it's past the quickening and he's pro-life.
archaeologist_d and others to write Merlin/Arthur dual-mpreg. I began making some notes, but honestly? This is so not ever actually getting written (although I am open to bribes). I have, however, typed up my notes in case you're interested. (This is not what my first drafts typically look like.)
Arthur goes to Gaius with the symptoms of morning sickness. Gaius gives him some medecine, but when Arthur's condition doesn't improve Gaius realizes he is pregnant.
GAIUS: Do you know who the father is?
ART.: I am!
G. Very well. The other father!
A. Does it matter?
G. [Does it?]
A. How do I get rid of it?
G. There are methods, but they are dangerous, and even in a normal pregnancy I would caution against them save in extreme circumstances. But a male pregnancy implies a mystical component; it is essential we let it continue, or else the consequences may truly be dire: more than your life may hang in the balance, but also the life of the father--
A. Ahem.
G. --the other father, or maybe even the entire kingdom.
A. So I'm stuck with it?
G. If that is how you choose to view it. I would recommend that you commit some thought as to how you will alert your father to the situation.
A. My father must not know!
G. My prince, you are pregnant. It's going to become rather hard to hide it from him eventually.
A. How is this even possible?
G. I have heard of spells designed to animate and nurture human seed within a male body. Perhaps some sorceror--Nimueh, maybe--
A. And there is no way to undo it?
G. My lord, you know quite well no magic is allowed within your father's kingdom.
A. Gaius, I beg you. You need to find a way to stop this!
G. Merlin, are you feeling unwell?
M. [?????]
G. No, let me examine you.
[does]
Merlin, I know this an uncomfortable question, but--have you been, ahem, intimate with our young prince?
M. [burns red] Gaius!
G. I wouldn't ask except--Merlin, you seem to be pregnant.
M. Pregnant? Likw with a baby?
G. That is what pregnant means, yes.
M. How can I be pregnant? I'm a man!
G. I'm aware of that, Merlin. Nonetheless, you are pregnant. I'm quite certain.
M. Why did you ask about Arthur? Did he--
G. I would recommend you talk with Arthur, Merlin.
M. Gaius says I should talk with you.
A. Fine. You're talking with me. Let's talk about you mending my armor.
M. Gaius says--I'm pregnant, Arthur.
A. So?
M. So? I'm pregnant!
A. Congratulations?
M. How can you be so [????] about this?
A. Because you're a servant, Merlin. You're pregnant? It's weird and freaky, but at the end of the day you can have all the babies you want.
M. I don't want to have any babies. [pause] At least, I don't think so. I'm too young to be a father.
A. Mother.
M. [????] I'm too young to be either!
A. I can't believe you. Focusing on your own problems after what you did to me.
M. What I did to you?
A. You got me pregnant!
M. That's the same thing you did to me.
A. Unless you're a prince in charge of producing an heir to the kingdom, I'm pretty sure it's not.
M. We're going to be fathers.
A. You're the mother.
M. Well, I guess we're each the father of one and the mother of one.
A. You're the mother of both of them.
M. How does that work?
A. It works because I say it works.
U. Are you gaining weight, Arthur?
A. I don't think so.
U. You need to be in shape to lead the knights.
A. I'm aware of that. I'm fine.
U. I'm fairly sure you've put on weight.
G. You can't exert yourself like this.
A. I don't have a choice. I'm prince of Camelot.
G. You're also a mother.
A. Father.
U. Gaius, what is ailing my son?
G. Perhaps that is a question you should ask him yourself, my lord.
U. You are the physician. You tell me.
G. My lord, I must insist that you ask Arthur yourself.
U. He insists that nothing ails him, yet he [?????]. I begin to fear that [?????].
G. In my opinion, he has done nothing he need feel ashamed of.
U. Then what is the problem?
G. It is not my opinion which counts, my lord. It is yours.
Gw. You've gained weight.
M. Yes, I have.
Gw. So has Arthur.
M. Has he? I haven't noticed.
And then when Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic, he wants Merlin to use it to abort the fetuses, but Merlin won't because it's past the quickening and he's pro-life.