ugh
sorry for the last depression update, its im just dealing with alot and i dont really want to.
Its kinda like those thing that you know they are suppose to go really really smooth and just be like ok done, but its like everyone is throwing a wrench in the mix to try and slow me down. Or so it feels like and then i turn around and only like 1 person is trying to help me. Ugh i miss the days where people just even ACTeD like they gave a shit what happened to me. now a days its just like "wow that sucks" and a nice pat on the back and a "good luck". its like wtf what happened to the days where ppl gave a shit and was like "if there is anything i can do just ask", of course i wont ask but at least it kinda seems like they give a shit, ya know?
I mean for example, me and ashley. Yes granted its been rough, but she said she would like to try to be my friend and i feel its only going one way. Yes i know i should talk to her about this but right now it just doesnt seem like thats a option to do. The reason i feel its going one way its like i told her about something that was happening to me, and i duno it just felt like she didnt really care. Again thats just how i felt and maybe it was the depression helping that. But when i go to a party she invites me to she wants to talk to kait more then she wants to talk to me. If she wants to talk to me even at all. Again this is only one stupid example and well yes maybe it was the depression making me feel like i really wasnt wanted there last night or even just the shit that has been going on but regardless i been doing all this on my own for i duno how long and now is when i need help and it seems as if it isnt there.
Thats how i felt till like 20 min ago, as if i was slipping into a doomed black whole and i couldnt get out and everyone was just kinda laughing at it. i duno i guess when it rains it pours. i forgot my anger and upset level for a little bit last night and i realize that i need to keep moving on bc if im gonna get any where i cant just lay down and expect it to come to me.
For all those people who think that a look can change remeber these words because its just how true they are.....
No matter where you go, you are what you are player
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was before you got here
Only God can judge me, so I'm gone
Either love me, or leave me alone
Either love me, or leave me alone
Its kinda like those thing that you know they are suppose to go really really smooth and just be like ok done, but its like everyone is throwing a wrench in the mix to try and slow me down. Or so it feels like and then i turn around and only like 1 person is trying to help me. Ugh i miss the days where people just even ACTeD like they gave a shit what happened to me. now a days its just like "wow that sucks" and a nice pat on the back and a "good luck". its like wtf what happened to the days where ppl gave a shit and was like "if there is anything i can do just ask", of course i wont ask but at least it kinda seems like they give a shit, ya know?
I mean for example, me and ashley. Yes granted its been rough, but she said she would like to try to be my friend and i feel its only going one way. Yes i know i should talk to her about this but right now it just doesnt seem like thats a option to do. The reason i feel its going one way its like i told her about something that was happening to me, and i duno it just felt like she didnt really care. Again thats just how i felt and maybe it was the depression helping that. But when i go to a party she invites me to she wants to talk to kait more then she wants to talk to me. If she wants to talk to me even at all. Again this is only one stupid example and well yes maybe it was the depression making me feel like i really wasnt wanted there last night or even just the shit that has been going on but regardless i been doing all this on my own for i duno how long and now is when i need help and it seems as if it isnt there.
Thats how i felt till like 20 min ago, as if i was slipping into a doomed black whole and i couldnt get out and everyone was just kinda laughing at it. i duno i guess when it rains it pours. i forgot my anger and upset level for a little bit last night and i realize that i need to keep moving on bc if im gonna get any where i cant just lay down and expect it to come to me.
For all those people who think that a look can change remeber these words because its just how true they are.....
No matter where you go, you are what you are player
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was before you got here
Only God can judge me, so I'm gone
Either love me, or leave me alone
Either love me, or leave me alone