I was at my desk once and I had been catcalled about seven times during a five minute walk. The mail comes first thing-- and the first thing that the mailman told me to do was smile. I burst into tears.
At my old job (The Bombay Company) we used to have these bastards that would yell shit at me as as they walked by while we were doing the window displays. Once, while moving a desk in one of the displays with my (female) colleague, our butts briefly pressed against the window glass and a businessman walking by took a picture. That was in addition to the assholes that would actually come in the store and say shit. *sigh* And then there was the fuckers that thought they had the right to cop a feel just because I was helping them move furniture to their car.
Basic human decency FAIL(s).
I'm so going to try Valenti's "Smile" line the next time someone says it.
Love this book, and love Valenti. And yes, her unconventional, no nonsense approach is questionable at times, but I think she's trying to speak to a younger generation, trying to get their attention with a carefully placed, yet sincere swear word here and there. I use Full Frontal Feminism in my Comp classes whenever I'm trying to show my students the value of a good argument. I have women who come up to me every semester, telling me how they didn't know they were a feminist prior to reading Jessica's book.
Full Frontal Feminism is next and I'm excited. :^D
I have to say, I especially love her chapter about women and humor since they claim feminists lack one (yet some of the funniest mofos I've ever met were dyed-in-the-wool-of-awesome feminists).
Ever since you mentioned that book a few posts ago I really want to check it out.
And that video broke my heart -- it captured so much in such a short space of time. I'm a fan of poetry (am I over-assuming?) put with film, so I think it spoke very powerfully about how shit you feel after being "complimented". The line I adore most is, "You expect me to feel honored by your recognition." Captures the discomfort of catcalled women beautifully.
Hollaback sounds like a great sight. And I finally have a use for my camera phone.
It's very muchly worth checking out and a good book also if you're doing the "five books at a time" thing.
That video was poetry. And I think really does put a name on the bullshit "Oh, it's a compliment!" As I've ranted at length, it's not about attraction, it's a way of degrading someone. If you actually made a sexual overture towards any of those assholes, they run yelping in terror 'cause they couldn't handle it, it's only when they're degrading you (or trying to) that they have a voice. < /spittle-flecked ranting >
I haven't been carrying my phone since it's as basically a paperweight at this point, but I think the idea of (stay with me, this is lame) pretending to get a picture would scare the fuck out of potential attackers. I mean, the idea of internet notoriety apparently scares some dicks more than pepper spray.
That would be a good idea. To be honest, though, while I like the idea of threatening internet notoriety, it's safer to be in a group when doing that, no? I mean, from what little Hollaback girl I read, this isn't limited to some a-hole guys who just need a clue.
Frankly (and sadly) it seems safer to be in a group period. :^( Another topic she addresses in the book, the un-fucking-fairness of women to be allowed, even in this country, to go anywhere alone, if not for safety reasons then for social ones (if a man dines alone in a restaurant, he's dining alone in a restaurant; if a woman does it, she's waiting for someone or got stood up).
And yeah, it isn't just unenlightened dipshits, it's also unenlightened dipshits with genuine malice that are using sex as a means of demeaning someone, if they have no other way. It's annoying as shit to have to just ignore them so I try and go for the passing bitchslap (rather than try and engage them with something like "Do you disrespect all women?" and/or "Would you talk to your mother or sister that way?") that leaves them scratching their heads while I powerwalk the fuck away as quickly as possible.
A few I've actually used when I had the energy/strength/bravery:
"Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type," (yeah, I stole that from The Simpsons)
( ... )
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At my old job (The Bombay Company) we used to have these bastards that would yell shit at me as as they walked by while we were doing the window displays. Once, while moving a desk in one of the displays with my (female) colleague, our butts briefly pressed against the window glass and a businessman walking by took a picture. That was in addition to the assholes that would actually come in the store and say shit. *sigh* And then there was the fuckers that thought they had the right to cop a feel just because I was helping them move furniture to their car.
Basic human decency FAIL(s).
I'm so going to try Valenti's "Smile" line the next time someone says it.
Reply
Reply
I have to say, I especially love her chapter about women and humor since they claim feminists lack one (yet some of the funniest mofos I've ever met were dyed-in-the-wool-of-awesome feminists).
Reply
And that video broke my heart -- it captured so much in such a short space of time. I'm a fan of poetry (am I over-assuming?) put with film, so I think it spoke very powerfully about how shit you feel after being "complimented". The line I adore most is, "You expect me to feel honored by your recognition." Captures the discomfort of catcalled women beautifully.
Hollaback sounds like a great sight. And I finally have a use for my camera phone.
Reply
That video was poetry. And I think really does put a name on the bullshit "Oh, it's a compliment!" As I've ranted at length, it's not about attraction, it's a way of degrading someone. If you actually made a sexual overture towards any of those assholes, they run yelping in terror 'cause they couldn't handle it, it's only when they're degrading you (or trying to) that they have a voice. < /spittle-flecked ranting >
I haven't been carrying my phone since it's as basically a paperweight at this point, but I think the idea of (stay with me, this is lame) pretending to get a picture would scare the fuck out of potential attackers. I mean, the idea of internet notoriety apparently scares some dicks more than pepper spray.
Reply
Reply
And yeah, it isn't just unenlightened dipshits, it's also unenlightened dipshits with genuine malice that are using sex as a means of demeaning someone, if they have no other way. It's annoying as shit to have to just ignore them so I try and go for the passing bitchslap (rather than try and engage them with something like "Do you disrespect all women?" and/or "Would you talk to your mother or sister that way?") that leaves them scratching their heads while I powerwalk the fuck away as quickly as possible.
A few I've actually used when I had the energy/strength/bravery:
"Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type," (yeah, I stole that from The Simpsons) ( ... )
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