DBSK: it's always been you
it's always been you
dbsk: yoosu
pg, 1154 words
a/n: I started this a long long time ago, and finally got tired of having yet another piece of writing sit around on my laptop. not exactly an example of good writing, unfortunately, but I'm still trying to get over my block, so this will have to do as a stepping stone.
(i.)
there are many things you've always been able to count on in the dbsk dorms. one of them is this: if you happen to wake up past 3AM on any day of the week - perhaps on the way to the washroom - you'll find the light in yoochun's workroom on.
"hey," you say sleepily, pushing open the door without knocking and blinking a little at the brightness of the lamp. yoochun's working out the melody of some new song at the piano. you nudge your shoulder against his until he moves over so that you can share the seat. your arms touch as you lean forward.
"hey," he replies distractedly, brows still furrowed in thought as his fingers press down on the black and white keys, one note at a time. "hey, which one do you think sounds better, this or this?"
"the first one," you tell him, and try out the lyrics he'd marked for the segment as he adds a series of eighth notes to the staff paper. it's a ballad - slow and nostalgic, a description of a broken heart. "why are all your songs like this?" you ask, because you've always wondered.
"like what?"
you shift. "sad. I don't know, about love and things."
he stops, looks up and smiles in a way that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "junsu-yah, don't you know? you can't write songs if you're not in love."
"are you?" the words leave your mouth before you can stop them.
a pause, and then a smile that stretches his lips too thin. "I've always been." his laugh is self-deprecating, and you catch his hand before he can turn back to the piano. his wrist fits easily in the space between your thumb and index finger - too easily - and you want to say something but you know it'll only make him pull away.
he gives you a slightly questioning look, as if sensing your mental dilemma. you swallow back your comment and just shake your head.
(ii.)
there's a reason why the whole world seems to designate jaejoong as the mother of the group, you think as you watch him dump a plate of food in front of yoochun's face. to which yoochun looks up, a question in his voice. "joongie?"
"hurry up and eat. you're wasting away." jaejoong frowns as yoochun opens his mouth, undoubtedly ready to make an excuse. "eat. now. or else I'll shovel the food down your throat."
no one argues with jaejoong when he's like that. "anything for you, baby," yoochun says with a wink and a leer, choosing to give in gracefully, and you look away at the easy flirting. his smile is all teeth as he reaches for the spoon.
"yoochun. stop that." jaejoong's tone is sharp but his eyes are sympathetic - about what, you can't say. "it'll be okay. trust me."
yoochun's smile soften, an apology in his expression as he raises a spoonful of jaejoong's kimchi jjigae to his mouth. "sorry. you know I do."
yoochun and jaejoong - they're the best friends of the group, the soulmates - and you've always known that. at times like this though, something still twists in the pit of your stomach.
they never notice when you carefully walk down the hall back the way you'd come, your footsteps muffled by your socks and barely audible against the smooth linoleum floor.
(iii.)
on the one day rare day you have off, jaejoong throws on the most ridiculous disguises in the world and drags yunho shopping. changmin tags along for the food, while you and yoochun spend the day doing inane things like playing starcraft and checking fansites to see who the top dbsk couple is for the week. the day passes too quickly, and before you know it, the others are home and the sky outside is dark.
you think to check the time, and out of the corner of your eyes, you notice the digits on yoochun's laptop. to your surprise, it reads exactly 11:11.
"hey," you say, and motion towards the bottom right corner when yoochun looks at you in question - you think this is the first time you've ever looked at a clock at just the right moment. you tell him this on impulse, and he laughs at you, disbelieving. the sound sends something fluttering in your chest.
"I make a wish every night," he says, grinning, and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he bumps his right arm against your left. "hurry up, you should make one too."
you obey, not because you're buy into magic wishes but because it's yoochun and he's always been able to make you believe in dreams. I wish we could stay like this forever, you think, hands clasped together as if praying.
you both end up staying awake until the crack of dawn doing absolutely nothing before falling asleep over yoochun's keyboard. jaejoong finds you when he wakes up to use the washroom and scolds you both for sleep-depriving yourselves and we have early schedules, you know. you would feel guilty, except yoochun is grinning into your shoulder like a crazy person and you really can't do anything but laugh.
(iv.)
sometimes, you dream of forevers and always and yoochun's laughter (the softer, quieter ones that he usually holds back but never hides, not from you). when you wake, you remember the old stories your mother used to read you (and they lived happily ever after, they all said) and wonder if they're more than just stories after all.
(v.)
one day, you find out that yoochun tastes like cigarettes and coffee.
your first reaction is surprise, and the widening of your eyes has him stopping short. he shifts his weight, as if to pull back - except you're grabbing onto his shoulders, a sudden voice of clarity telling you not letting go. yoochun makes a low sound when you kiss him back, soft and broken in the middle, and you realize all at once what you've been dreaming about.
his fingers dig into your back, almost-painful. you can't bring yourself to care.
"hey," he says a minute later, tentative. his lips barely move, but they're still pressed to the corner of your own and you can feel the way he forms the the syllables, one at a time. "I - is this okay?"
the rasp of his breath against your cheek reminds you of things you thought you'd already forgotten.
"you're an idiot," you tell him, then grasp his hand and link your fingers together one by one.
(look, it's 11:11 again! hurry up and make a wish.
~
hey, what exactly do you wish for?
don't ask stupid questions, junsu-yah. isn't it obvious?
the smile he gives you makes your breath catch. you shake your head, and wonder at the lightness of your heart.
you, of course. every time, it's always been you.)
help_haiti: my thread.
fic started: September 6, 2009
fic finished: January 17, 2010
dbsk: yoosu
pg, 1154 words
a/n: I started this a long long time ago, and finally got tired of having yet another piece of writing sit around on my laptop. not exactly an example of good writing, unfortunately, but I'm still trying to get over my block, so this will have to do as a stepping stone.
(i.)
there are many things you've always been able to count on in the dbsk dorms. one of them is this: if you happen to wake up past 3AM on any day of the week - perhaps on the way to the washroom - you'll find the light in yoochun's workroom on.
"hey," you say sleepily, pushing open the door without knocking and blinking a little at the brightness of the lamp. yoochun's working out the melody of some new song at the piano. you nudge your shoulder against his until he moves over so that you can share the seat. your arms touch as you lean forward.
"hey," he replies distractedly, brows still furrowed in thought as his fingers press down on the black and white keys, one note at a time. "hey, which one do you think sounds better, this or this?"
"the first one," you tell him, and try out the lyrics he'd marked for the segment as he adds a series of eighth notes to the staff paper. it's a ballad - slow and nostalgic, a description of a broken heart. "why are all your songs like this?" you ask, because you've always wondered.
"like what?"
you shift. "sad. I don't know, about love and things."
he stops, looks up and smiles in a way that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "junsu-yah, don't you know? you can't write songs if you're not in love."
"are you?" the words leave your mouth before you can stop them.
a pause, and then a smile that stretches his lips too thin. "I've always been." his laugh is self-deprecating, and you catch his hand before he can turn back to the piano. his wrist fits easily in the space between your thumb and index finger - too easily - and you want to say something but you know it'll only make him pull away.
he gives you a slightly questioning look, as if sensing your mental dilemma. you swallow back your comment and just shake your head.
(ii.)
there's a reason why the whole world seems to designate jaejoong as the mother of the group, you think as you watch him dump a plate of food in front of yoochun's face. to which yoochun looks up, a question in his voice. "joongie?"
"hurry up and eat. you're wasting away." jaejoong frowns as yoochun opens his mouth, undoubtedly ready to make an excuse. "eat. now. or else I'll shovel the food down your throat."
no one argues with jaejoong when he's like that. "anything for you, baby," yoochun says with a wink and a leer, choosing to give in gracefully, and you look away at the easy flirting. his smile is all teeth as he reaches for the spoon.
"yoochun. stop that." jaejoong's tone is sharp but his eyes are sympathetic - about what, you can't say. "it'll be okay. trust me."
yoochun's smile soften, an apology in his expression as he raises a spoonful of jaejoong's kimchi jjigae to his mouth. "sorry. you know I do."
yoochun and jaejoong - they're the best friends of the group, the soulmates - and you've always known that. at times like this though, something still twists in the pit of your stomach.
they never notice when you carefully walk down the hall back the way you'd come, your footsteps muffled by your socks and barely audible against the smooth linoleum floor.
(iii.)
on the one day rare day you have off, jaejoong throws on the most ridiculous disguises in the world and drags yunho shopping. changmin tags along for the food, while you and yoochun spend the day doing inane things like playing starcraft and checking fansites to see who the top dbsk couple is for the week. the day passes too quickly, and before you know it, the others are home and the sky outside is dark.
you think to check the time, and out of the corner of your eyes, you notice the digits on yoochun's laptop. to your surprise, it reads exactly 11:11.
"hey," you say, and motion towards the bottom right corner when yoochun looks at you in question - you think this is the first time you've ever looked at a clock at just the right moment. you tell him this on impulse, and he laughs at you, disbelieving. the sound sends something fluttering in your chest.
"I make a wish every night," he says, grinning, and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he bumps his right arm against your left. "hurry up, you should make one too."
you obey, not because you're buy into magic wishes but because it's yoochun and he's always been able to make you believe in dreams. I wish we could stay like this forever, you think, hands clasped together as if praying.
you both end up staying awake until the crack of dawn doing absolutely nothing before falling asleep over yoochun's keyboard. jaejoong finds you when he wakes up to use the washroom and scolds you both for sleep-depriving yourselves and we have early schedules, you know. you would feel guilty, except yoochun is grinning into your shoulder like a crazy person and you really can't do anything but laugh.
(iv.)
sometimes, you dream of forevers and always and yoochun's laughter (the softer, quieter ones that he usually holds back but never hides, not from you). when you wake, you remember the old stories your mother used to read you (and they lived happily ever after, they all said) and wonder if they're more than just stories after all.
(v.)
one day, you find out that yoochun tastes like cigarettes and coffee.
your first reaction is surprise, and the widening of your eyes has him stopping short. he shifts his weight, as if to pull back - except you're grabbing onto his shoulders, a sudden voice of clarity telling you not letting go. yoochun makes a low sound when you kiss him back, soft and broken in the middle, and you realize all at once what you've been dreaming about.
his fingers dig into your back, almost-painful. you can't bring yourself to care.
"hey," he says a minute later, tentative. his lips barely move, but they're still pressed to the corner of your own and you can feel the way he forms the the syllables, one at a time. "I - is this okay?"
the rasp of his breath against your cheek reminds you of things you thought you'd already forgotten.
"you're an idiot," you tell him, then grasp his hand and link your fingers together one by one.
(look, it's 11:11 again! hurry up and make a wish.
~
hey, what exactly do you wish for?
don't ask stupid questions, junsu-yah. isn't it obvious?
the smile he gives you makes your breath catch. you shake your head, and wonder at the lightness of your heart.
you, of course. every time, it's always been you.)
help_haiti: my thread.
fic started: September 6, 2009
fic finished: January 17, 2010